A Penny For Your Thoughts, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

Letters to my future self…

27 Comments

Year 2009 is coming to an end, and we’ll be welcoming the new year soon. This year is by far the most eventful yet HORRIBLE year I had to endure. Apart from making many mistakes that I have come to regret, which is letting assholes and bitches into my life, I was also put through a near death experience.

Yes, folks, I nearly died this year. I can still remember the date. It was 18 July 2009 when I barely escaped from a burning house. I come to realized that Death can come knocking on anyone’s door. Apparently, Death does not discriminate. It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, sick or healthy…if it’s your time to go, then by all means, you WILL go. Let’s just say I am lucky to be able to cheat Death this time.

I had very little comfort this year, and I saw the ugly side of God’s creature known as human. A series of unfortunate events seems to unfold before my very eyes. One after another, and I’m forced to deal with it. No one in my blasted life was actually there for me physically. No hugs, or kisses or even words to tell me that everything will be all right. Of course Eugene, Cheeyee, Jen, and Claire knew what happened to me, but it’s not the same, because though I appreciate their kind words and motivation, it’s not the same with having physical comforts.

I also feel sick of being taken for granted. Thinking back… I feel sick to the stomach when I flashback to those important dates of my life… like anniversaries, V-day, birthday, certain festivals. I am expected to make people happy during those dates that meant a lot to me. It seems that no one even care about what I feel anymore.(my parents are an exception though) Everything is just about them now. I feel so sick of it that I could puke thinking about it right now. Goddamn it! They can’t seems to get out of my hair! I couldn’t even go on vacation in peace because of them.

Being a hopeless romantic, I am tired of people not wishing me Happy Valentines Day and Happy Anniversaries . I loathe it when people did not ask me how I want to celebrate my birthdays or even the birthday of my family members. I feel like showing my middle finger when I flashback to the time where I spent my very own birthday, sleeping on the goddamn bed, fighting off fatigue because I could no longer move about as I had to endure and tolerate ‘certain matters’ the day before and on the exact day of my birthday. And no, it was not sex. I wish it was sex, though. I wished I celebrated being 25 years old this year the way I wanted it to be, instead of dozing off.

Turning 25 on 2nd September 2009 was supposed to be important to ME. Not other people…It is important to me to celebrate being alive, being able to survive the fire. Not… other people.

I really resent it because besides my father, my mother, my sister and Pauline (my high school bestie) no one else in my ‘offline’ life bothers about it. There are no presents whatsoever (well, what’s new in that, anyway. Every year I didn’t get any presents, anyway). Not even a ‘Happy Birthday’. Because it seems that other things… other people are more important than me.

Though I am touched that my FIL bought me a cake on 31st August 2009 during a dinner that I hosted at home, I can’t say it helped much to ease the sorrow that I felt a few days later. I know I am nothing special. But then, not even the courtesy to let that day be mine? That’s a little bit too much for me.

People might have thought I had a blast turning 25 years old. But no one actually knew that I called up my father in the toilet and cried silently as he spoke to me the day before my birthday. I needed to hear his voice so much, because I knew what will happen the next day. Which is nothing. He wondered why I sounded so strange. He asked me what was bothering me, but I could not tell, because it will break his heart if he knew his daughter was not happy, and what had caused her to feel so tired. I lied to him. I told him I had a flu. We chatted away as I silently sob in the goddamn toilet, trying so hard to smile and laugh at my dad’s lame jokes.

For the first time ever since I left home back in 2002, I wish I could just celebrate my birthday with my parents. Even if there’s no presents, they would hug me and kiss me and wish me Happy Birthday. It would have been enough. Yes. A simple greeting would have been enough. It would make me feel happy. And it would have definitely make me feel appreciated. Some people would say action speaks louder than words. But sometimes, words speaks louder than action… well…words definitely speaks louder than action when there’s no action taken to make things better in the first place.

I am so tired of ‘being a good girl’ who pleased others. I want it to be all about me next year. Yes. No more Ms. Nice Girl. I want to be a bitch next year. There’s no need to care for others anymore. Why bother when they don’t appreciate what I do? Why bother when you’re nice to them, they treated you like the lowest scum on Earth? And why bother when all they know is just find faults in you? I’ll never be good enough because in their eyes, I’m just a slut who only knows how to waste money anyway? Ohh, yes, whore. I’ve heard what you’ve been saying about me. If I had it my way, I would have probably sued you for defamation. (Don’t get me started, bitches and whores out there. For what it’s worth…all of these while…during my blasted 25 years of my life, I don’t owe anyone money. PEOPLE owe ME money instead. I don’t owe anyone. Except for my father and mother.)

Anyway… as I’ve said. I wanted next year to be about me. I won’t have anyone dictate on what I should do, and what I shouldn’t do. And I won’t have people tell me on how I should run my life. And most definitely won’t let people I loathe have their ways anymore. Who the hell are you people to dictate my life? I am my own mistress, you bloody fool! I’ll be damned if I let people run my life and ruin those special dates, because I am so fucking tired of being taken for granted, and I am also bloody pissed off when I am forced to give face to people when they don’t even bother to respect me in the first place.

I am getting tired of not getting any ‘Happy New Year’, ‘Happy Valentines Day’, ‘Happy Anniversary’, ‘Happy Birthday’ and even ‘Merry Xmas’. Bloody fool, I am so sick and tired of not getting any of it!  So sick that I haven’t been celebrating life. And since you blokes out there took me for granted and couldn’t take a clue, I am going to do something about it. I am going to make myself happy again. On those dates, and on every goddamn day.

Do you know what I am going to do? I am going to write to my future self. Why would I want to do that? Well, elemantary my dear readers. I have a premonition that next year will not be any better than this year. It’ll be pretty much the same. No fun… AGAIN. No wishes… AGAIN. No presents… AGAIN. I want those. But I can only tell myself to dream on, because there will be more bad things happen next year. And I will find that I will be consumed with self-pity, resentment and hatred again.

I’m going to write myself ‘love letters’…to wish myself. To comfort myself. To advice myself.To remind myself that I am worthy of life, and I am who I am, and no one should be allowed to take that away from me. This may sound pathetic to everyone who is reading this. But… hey… I need to remind myself that even if there’s no one else out there to make me feel happy and full of life… I still have 3 people in my life.

That’s ME, MYSELF and I. Those 3 people loved me. THEY are going to write to me and comfort me, and all I have to do is write little comforting notes. They will ‘talk’ to me about the things that I couldn’t even talk to my other half. They will cheer me up and make me do crazy things that will make myself feel good from January until December. I am going to write 365 notes to myself, and I will open it on those dates dictated on the envelop. (Damn. I only have 10 more days to write 365 notes to myself. I gotto start now!) Originally intended to send schedule emails to myself, but I wanted something physical, not virtual. Hence… it’ll be letters, not emails, or scheduled private blog entries.

That’s my cat, Meow Meow… ‘guarding’ my newly bought writing pads and envelopes.

Since I have openly told you readers that I wanted to stop feeling horrible and sorry for myself by writing notes to myself, I’ll let you know what my first letter in January would tell me. The rest will be for me to know, and for all of you not to find out. 😛

I

It’s this:

Hey there,

Happy New Year, Lizzie. It’s a brand new year, and it’s been a while since you had fun. You promised yourself that 2010 will be about you, and here I am reminding you to do what you pledged to do.If there’s no one there to celebrate New Year Year eve with you again this year, don’t you dare give a damn. Watch the firework and countdown with those crazy party goers. And when the clock stroke 12, jump like a madwoman and do that little Hula Dance you learned on the net. Sneak out of the damn house, and bring your cat for a walk. It’s a brand new year, babe. Celebrate it.

Love yourself.

First letter to myself. Safely sealed up now. Only to be opened on New Year’s eve.

Cleffairy: Hooyeahhhh…. next year will be a bad year again, as usual. Gonna be a bumpy ride. ESPECIALLY FEBRUARY. FEBRUARY WILL SUCK. (Don’t ask me questions, and I won’t bitch about it) Bitches and bastards will still be in my hair as well, nothing I can do to change that. But I can at least have some crazy fun and learn to celebrate life again. People are gonna regret it when they figured out that I don’t need them to wish me or to make me happy anymore. Yes… I will heal!

ps: Thank God there’s no flower shop near my home. Else, they would earn loads from me cuz originally, I planned to send flowers to myself!

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Cleffy's Pillow Talk

Dream Diary

23 Comments

I’ve been meaning to write about this, but I have been procrastinating cuz I am not quite sure where I should start. I finally decide that I should jot this down to justify my lame excuse on why I sleep so less lately.

My best friend Pauline knock on my head through twitter early this morning, saying that 4-5 hours sleep is not enough for me, and I should sleep more. Regularly. I bet she’s wanting to kick my butt and punch some senses into my thick skull, and get some proper sleep instead of being such a vamp.

But the thing here is, I can’t sleep. I have difficulties going to sleep, ever since the fire happened. No matter how hard I try, I’ll end up tossing and turning on the bed, and it frustrates me, and therefore the 3 o’clock fairy’s solitude becomes a habit. I end up doing things when people around me are sleeping their head off.

When night arrives, I’ll feel too alert to sleep, and could only go to sleep when the sun rises. Thank heavens I am a freelance, else I would be fired from my job.

Anyway, back to the point. I used to have disturbing dreams and nightmares a few years back. It slowly gets better as I began to jot down my dreams and nightmares that I got when I was asleep in my dream diary when I woke up. Slowly, gradually, the lingering nightmares began to fade, but lately, it happened again, and I am not quite sure what contributes to it. Stress? Trauma? I am not quite sure.

I know what dreams are made of, they are our subconscious. Or the memories or things that we want to lock away but unable to when we’re asleep. They are made of stress and the events that happened when we’re awake.

I am not quite sure what’s going on with me and my body, but the problems 3 years back reoccurs again, and I began to experience reoccurring dreams. The worst thing about these recurring dreams and nightmares is that the memories of it lingers in my head when I woke up. I could not forget those dreams as they are too vivid. Some of these dreams are so real and horrible that sometimes, I woke up sweating, gasping for breath and sometimes, even more worst, screaming. These dreams, often confuses me, and it’s hard to distinguish between dreams and reality sometimes.

Sleep…is not something that’s relaxing to me these days. Hey… don’t blame me. Can you imagine going to sleep dreaming that your loved ones are killed, desert you or even betray you in the worst way possible? Killed in an accident, killed by people you hate, killed by the fire or even murdered. Seeing your loved ones… like your husband or wife having sex with someone else before your very eyes and many more does not sit well with me. To be honest, I am afraid to go to close my eyes and go to sleep. Of course the dreams are not all bad all the time. There are good ones, but I don’t get them often.

I think, before things get out of hand, I should control my dreams and not my dreams control me, and therefore, I’m going to revive my long forgotten habit, which is to write down my dreams and nightmare on my Dream Diary.

And since my Dream Diary was spared from the fire a couple of months ago, I think I am going to just resume it from the last entry…It was Wednesday, 7th September 2005, sleep cycle 11.00pm-7.00am. Well… it’s time to say hello to old friends again. Unless someone want to sponsor me some nice journal or notebook to write as a Xmas pressie. 😛

See… below is my old dream diary. Dating back to year 2004. *sigh* Now I have to use it again so that I can vanguish my nightmares and make fun of em. or better still, use them as an inspiration for my novels and upcoming works. Great idea, no?

The dream diaries are small notebooks with tiny locks attach to it. It’s all rusty now. I tried finding similar notebooks a few days ago, but couldn’t find it anyway. guess I’ll just have to write on the remaining diaries until I run out of pages and get a new one.

Some of you may be intrigue with Dream Diaries and want to keep one of your own. Here’s some tips for you, in case you want to jot down your dreams like me for reasons only known to yourself.

You will need to keep a dream diary if you want to work on your dreams. A dream diary is like a daily diary except that in it you record your sleeping instead of your waking adventures. You should keep paper and pencil by the side of your bed and record your dreams upon awaking, otherwise, you will forget your dreams easily.

But what kind of detail should you include in your dream diary? The answer is, the more detail the better. As you gain practice and train yourself in a dream recall, you will find more and more details come back to you. Write them down.

The following are some points you should bear in mind:

1. Write down the dream events in their proper order. This may seem unimportant if the events appear unrelated to each other. But once you begin the process of analysis, relationships often become very clear.

2. Keep a careful note of the dream characters. Who was in your dream and what did he or she do? If they remind you of someone you know in waking life, write this down. Don’t trust to memory.

3. If well-known scenery appears, record any differences between it and the same scenery in waking life. Were the bookshelves in the right places? Were the books the same as real life? And so on.

4. Similarly, record any differences between well-known people in the dream and in real life.

5. Record any non-human characters that appeared in the dream (animals, ghosts) or any inanimate objects that behaved as if alive.

6. Make a special note of any recurring events, themes or characters. Do they always occur/behave in exactly the same way?

7. Not down all the colours you see.

8. Note down your emotional responses to everything.

Finally don’t trust to memory. When you read back over your dream diary you may find you have no recollection at all of having some of the dreams. However clear they seem at the time, write them down.

Cleffairy: Recurring dreams and nightmares bothers me. And I might as well write them down and make fun of them instead of letting the dragons bites me!

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Award/Badge

I Wrote Dangerously

19 Comments

For those who have been frequenting my blog would probably know what I do for fun. Which is write. Write nonsense, write out my fantasies, write out those romance that’s supposed to happen to me but did not. I write for a living. And I write for fun.

It didn’t sound fun at all, did it? But then again, I’m not a wizard or a magician. I have no talents of making a rabbit appearing from the folds of a hat and I also can’t work with potion or conjure spells and put  nasty curses on people. I hate my lack of ability to do things efficiently, so that’s probably why I write a lot. It’s wishful writing, I suppose.

Writing has been a part of my life, and always will be, though I am not always productive all the time. November is always productive for me though my pitiful blog is sorely neglected, cuz there’s NaNoWriMo, where people all around the world goes on a crazy attempt to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in just 30 days. Crazy people who loves to write like me motivates each other and goes on word sprints or write ins to get our fingers dancing on the keyboard to churn out words from our brains.

That’s why I love November so much. Cuz I get a boost from all over the world, telling me that I am not silly or even wasting my time putting the ridiculous things from my head on the white sheets. November taught me to let go and just enjoy being just me.

Anyway, I’ve won the challenge and earned my yearly rights to boast. Hey, hey, bear with me, I said. LOL… I don’t camwhore, cuz people will probably puke after seeing my pic, so this will have to do! LOL… so bear with me for a while, okay? Let me hear the okay and drum rolls, please…

I broke my personal records this year…feel free to use the numbers to buy 4D or even toto. Just remember to give me a treat if you hit the jackpot, tho.

I wrote: 15,2340 words (that’s 300++ pages, 12pt in Times New Roman)

I drank: 56 cups of Lipton tea, 15 glasses of iced Milo in the middle of the night throughout Novermber 2009.

I ate: Tons of fattening, instant stuff that my late grandmother won’t even recognize as food.

I indulged in: 3  packs of dynamite choco-mint candies, a dozen of Chupa Chups orange and strawberry flavoured lollipops, 1 pack of monsters candy and half tub of chocolate ice cream.

I missed: A lot of soap operas shown on the telly.

I slept: 4-5 hours a day and dream about my devilishly handsome hero and nightmares about lusty sorceress who lusts after my hero.

Anyway, I get these as a recognition of my insane effort:

And because I am also part of the NaNoWriMo YWP, I also get extra badge to tell the world on how looney I can get…

Oh yeah, I get this too…

Yikes! A cert to confirm my lunacy!

And here, I’d like to thank everyone who had been supportive and be there for me throughout November, especially my kitty, Meow Meow for accompanying me throughout November as I embark on my dangerous writing adventure while the rest of my world snores away.

I would drop into a court curtsy if I could in honour of this historic entry, but I think I shall end this entry with a little quote from my novel in progress:

Within the dark shadows of my heart, the torch’s glow reveals your face. Within the dungeons of my soul, the corridors echoed with your laughter. Within the castle’s wall of my resolves, your tender caress sets them ablaze. Within the misty forest of my memories, your soft kisses summons my name. Within my daydreams of tomorrow, we sleep in each other’s arms. And within my wildest wishes, you claim me to be yours.

Cleffairy: My head is full of mush! I have no idea why you people think I’m a fierce and cranky person. LMAO!

P.S: One would have noticed that I am not using Windows Operating System if one see closely on the NaNoWriMo cert screenshot. Nope, you did not see wrongly. You’re right. I am not using Windows. I am using Ubuntu, Linux based operating system. It’s an open source operating system, which means, you don’t have to pay for the license to use it. I might write about Ubuntu when I feel like it one day.


Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Fairy's Tale, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

Monarch of my own kingdom

10 Comments

Would you believe me if I told you that I am a monarch of my own kingdom? Say, an empress who rule a beautiful and peaceful land and I get to kick butts freely and nobody would say a word about it? And people tell me that I rock the world and I look beautiful all the time? Would you believe it? No?

Well, I don’t believe it myself too, but it’s all possible when you can ‘create’ your own world through writing. Fantasy of what we could never be will be lost when we grow older and more realistic as well as materialistic things occupied our minds. But if we put our fantasy through writing, the dreams and fantasy as an innocent child would forever be immortalized as long as the eyes can see.

I started writing fictions ever since I was a little girl. I was 11 years old when I wrote my first ‘novel’. It was written on a thick, hardback, pink coloured exercise book that I bought from the stationary store nearby my primary school. It costs me RM3.50, an amount that was very big for me back then, because my father did not give me much pocket money when I was a primary school student. I bought it secretly because if my parents knew what the book was for, I’d be screwed.

Why would I be screwed, you ask me? Well, elementary my dear readers. It was because my father and mother did not encourage writing such things. Writing composition for homeworks are fine with them, but not novel length fictions. They thought it was a waste of time. They wanted me to study maths and science, and those stuff that they taught in school instead. I would probably be slaughtered by my parents and it’ll make a nasty scene where even the most bloodthirsty murderer would puke at the gory details if they found out what I did for fun back then.

But I did not let their discouragement and threats affect my little hobby. Besides, there’s little fun a sickly child like me could have. I was terrible in sports as I often get asthma attacks, and faints easily too. I was excused from all school assemblies, even, as the teachers were probably scared that I’ll die on them or something. It was growing pains, I didn’t get to do many things for fun, but I found joy in writing, where everything was possible and I am in charge of everything. That was probably the only thing I was good at anyway.

I wrote and scribbled on the precious fancy exercise book by using ballpoint pens during my free time and even during recess. Friends and classmates started to get curious and nosy, seeing me so immersed in writing, and I was asked to show them what I was doing. I was reluctant at first, as I feared that they would report to the prefects and soon my little treasure would be confiscated. But it did not happen. Other things happened. Wonderful things that I never even imagined in the first place.

My friends and classmates read my story and got hooked on it. They were interested in what would happen to the characters in the story and if the story will have a happily ever after or not. And so, I would write a bit by bit, and then would pass the book around for them to read each time I updated the story.(Sometimes, I wish there was such thing as Internet back then, it would have made my life easier and less complicated!)

My friends and classmates genuine interest my writing boosts my confidence, no kidding. And I made even more efforts to make the story interesting, and with less grammatical errors. After a few months of writing installments to my stories where it will be ‘reviewed’ by friends and classmates alike, I finally managed to finish my first ‘teenage adventure’ novel with the title ‘The Mysterious Attic’. I may not have published it, but my ‘fangirls’ made photocopies of the exercise book that I wrote the story.

I was embarrassed at first, but they told me it was a story worth keeping. They said the story was one of a kind, something they would never be able to buy from the bookstores. A friend who was good in drawing made covers for the photocopied version of the book and had me signed it. It was a nice childhood memories, and little did I know, professional authors around the world did similar things- signing their books. If only I knew back then, it would have boost my bloody ego and self confidence.

Truth be told. I am not sure if ‘The Mysterious Attic’ was a good story. I could hardly remember the story myself. All I could remember is that the story is about a young girl who found a gold pendant with little mirror on it while cleaning the old attic in her grandmother’s house, and was transported to a mysterious world. She found her greatest adventure and learn about love, friendship and sacrifices along the way. That’s all I could remember. I wonder if I could rewrite the story the same way. I doubt I could. After all it was my brainchild when I was younger. It would be different if I were to write it again.

By the way, a friend of mine made different covers for each photocopies of the book, and though I’ve lost touch with her, I wonder if she ever became a graphic designer, as she was so passionate in arts and could produce beautiful drawings even though she was just 11 years old back then.

It was unfortunate for me that my mother threw away the book when she found out about it two years later, when I was 13 years old. She accused me of fantasizing about boys and whatnot and thought the book was just my ‘coded diary’.

Naturally, I was upset with her action, but did not made any effort to argue with her, because I was scared to death of my father. What’s more, it would have been pointless, as I would be punished anyway regardless of my explanation.

And so, even though my first masterpiece was gone it did not stop me from writing more stories; on cheaper exercise books though, cuz I couldn’t afford anymore fancy, hardcover notebooks. I stashed my next handwritten stories away behind my revision bookshelves, and my mother never did found them til this very day.

Anyway, that was how I started to appreciate English language and literature and found the real use of dictionary and thesaurus. Writing your own stories are not a waste of time, though my parents would have me believed that back then. It taught me something that could never be taught by the teachers in school or any books in history. It taught you perseverance,creativity, patience, discipline, elusiveness and most importantly, passion. It is pure joy. At least for me.

I didn’t stop writing as I grew older, though I did went on hiatus for 3 years as horrible author’s block hits me. When I was introduced to the wonderful world of Internet, I began submitting my works for various fiction sites, and geo people from around the world to comment and criticize my work. I even copyrighted them so that they wouldn’t be stolen too as I go further along. The best part of technology is that it repelled my mother and father from throwing away my works, as I usually password protect my works, and I have back ups everywhere on the net.

Years passed by, I grew up and I don’t write fiction all the time anymore. I now write fiction only once or twice a year and my bloody production for novels and short stories went down terribly. I found newer kind of joy; social networking and blogging, and I figured that blogging is a good form of writing too.

Blogging made me feel happy too, as it is a reminder on how free and lucky I am to be able to enjoy delivering my thoughts, real life stories and opinions throughout the world. Writing entries for my blog affords me a chance every day to just sit and reflect my thoughts. I live in a city, with lots of rat race and fast moving things. I love where I live, and if I were to be tossed into some village, I would have probably suicide out of boredom.

I really love the city, but I also think it’s important to sit and be quiet with yourself and your thoughts. Blogging and writing for me is very meditative and calming, and helps to give me some sort of inner peace, though not that much.

Writing and blogging always reminded me of how liberated and lucky I am. I am lucky that I am able to use technology to have myself heard. And lucky enough to be educated and literate while some other people in the world are still trapped in poverty and conservative world where knowledge is pretty limited to them. Indeed, I am lucky.

But I mourn the fact that governments all around the world feel threatened by the written words. Writers who live in these countries are persecuted and imprisoned, their writing censored, their lives threatened every day,simply because they love to do what you and I love to do: write and express themselves and probably told ugly truths about the governments in questions.

Reading and writing therefore,become a constant reminder of how very fortunate I am. It also becomes a challenge to you, to me, to all of us: to face the fact that not all people are free, lucky and liberated as we are, and we have to work to change that, and made our voice and opinion be heard.


Cleffairy: Be a monarch of you own kingdom, for there’s much to learn. And please, do support you children’s hobbies if they are not destructive. You would never know that their hobbies might become their career one day.

On a lighter note, Paylessbok sale is back in YMCA, KL. If you like to read and wants to encourage your children to read, you might want to check it out.

Venue: 1st Floor, YMCA KL, 95, Jalan Padang Belia,

Off Jalan Tun Sambanthan, Kuala Lumpur

Please click HERE for further details:

Date: 20 – 22 November 2009 (Friday – Sunday)

Time: 10:00am – 7:00pm

 

ps: If any of the ‘friends’ and ‘classmates’ that I mentioned here happened to still have a photocopy of my work, would you please kindly email me at cleffairy@gmail.com? I really would like to see my first work again.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]
Continue Reading

Fairy's Tale

Masquerade Chronicles

10 Comments

Some of you were quite concern about me as I appeared to feel stressful and in distress lately, and for that, I thank whatever power above that there are people who cares for me genuinely.

Do not worry about me. I’m expressing myself in a rather constructive way.

This is what I’ve been doing:

Bookcover

Yeah… been at it since 1st November 2009. Writing a novel. Writing therapy is good, I must say. I get to kill and revive people as I pleased. And here’s an excerpt from my novel this year, and I’ll be damned if I don’t finish this one this year!

A dark, shadowy figure sat on a tree watched a sleeping young lady from afar under the moonlight through her window. The beautiful lady slept peacefully while the one who was observing her jumped down from the tree branch that he’s latching swiftly, as swift as the wind. Sadness and grief followed his footsteps as he silently walked beneath the silvery moonlight. He could not bear watching her any longer. It breaks his heart badly.

“Sire?” a voice squeaked out, breaking the silence of the night. The man did not startle despite of the invincibility of the owner’s voice.

“She couldn’t remember me….she couldn’t, Zephyr…she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t” a smooth voice replied, shattering the silence around them. The voice was almost inaudible, as if his words were not meant to be heard by anyone.

Wind started to blow, engulfing the dark figure and his supposedly companion, revealing a very handsome young man and a winged horse. The man was wearing a cloak, shielding him from the cold. Such strange picture against the modern world setting, as if the pair just came out from a strange world, or rather, a fairytale story.

As a car drove by and almost hit the two figure. The winged horse leap and took flight and soared high in the sky, causing the driver who witnessed the whole process to watch in disbelief with his jaw gaping open.

“So what are you going to do, Your Highness? The Queen could not remember you anymore…her people needs her…” the horse said and once again, breaking the still of the night as the man on his back patted the horse’s head softly. Navigating away from the sparkling city, the pair bump into the clouds, and as it burst, a lush world came into view. A beautiful world that is far from modern or tainted with the buzzing vehicles.

“As what I always did, Zephyr, I will claim her. I will claim her all over again, and she will remember what I meant to her.” the man said, and his words were like a vow. He definitely meant to do it.

I don’t usually put up my work in progress for display, but I’m in need of constructive criticism, cuz my novel is in the danger of being nothing but a fluff romance. So, comments, anybody?

Cleffairy: I know the book cover sucks. Hey, I’m no graphic artist. LOL…I’d be glad, though, if someone out there who is a graphic artist would care to ‘donate’ me a book cover if I ever to publish it.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Award/Badge

Out of frenzy!

2 Comments

I participated in a scriptwriting event last month known as Script Frenzy where the participants are required to write a script of 100 pages in one month time. I’ve been meaning to… err… boast about my achievement, cuz participating in Script Frenzy is not the same like NaNoWriMo for me. Script writing is not really my strong point. It’s simply a pain in the butt, literally.

I spent more time moping in front of the PC thinking on how I should write or if a certain slugline is proper than writing the script itself. But by the end of the month, I managed to come out with a script set with 500 pages in it. Now that’s a huge personal record for me, though the script was actually an adaptation from my ongoing novel with the working title Masquerade.

It is hard to explain to those who did not participate in the event of the satisfaction gained after completing the challenge. But I have to express to all of you who stumbled upon this article that healthy amount of stress could motivate you to achieve many things, and could be greatly missed after it’s over.

This post is just to reward myself and remind myself to remain dedicated and discipline all the time, and not just during NaNoWriMo or Script Frenzy event. This is what I get for completing the challenge.

A congratulatory message from the organizer

youwon

A winner’s badge…

winner_200x200

A certificate for it

sf_2009_winner

And because I am also a part of Script Frenzy Young Writer program, I get another set of badge

ywpfrenzywinner_120x240

And also another piece of certificate as a bonus

sf_ywp_2009_winner

Cleffairy: Writing is a never ending adventure. So, people… no matter what form or writing you’re in, be it blogging, novel writing, journal writing and whatnot, never ever stop it cuz you may gain more than not from it.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Award/Badge, Event coverage

I’m going frenzy! Script Frenzy!

No Comments

flyer320w

Cleff is going nuts again. This time she’s going into a crazy frenzy! Script Frenzy, that is! You guys must be wondering what in the name of hell I’m talking about. Well…for those who have known me for quite some time would probably know that I’m a woman of passion. There’s fiery fire in my vein and I constantly thirst for adventure and challenges. I also probably have mush for brain and a hopeless romantic at heart despite of my awkward and unladylike writings.

I’m also woman with passion for writing, and I would never say no to a challenge related to writing. And so, it would only be appropriate if I take on the Script Frenzy Challenge 2009.

Some of you here might not be familiar with Script Frenzy. Well, allow me to introduce it to you, ladies and gentlemen.

sf_08_email_header_logo1

Script Frenzy is an international writing event in which participants take on the challenge of writing 100 pages of scripted material in the month of April. As part of a donation-funded nonprofit, Script Frenzy charges no fee to participate; there are also no valuable prizes awarded or “best” scripts singled out. Every writer who completes the goal of 100 pages is victorious and awe-inspiring and will receive a handsome Script Frenzy Winner’s Certificate and web icon proclaiming this fact.

Even those who fall short of the word goal will be applauded for making a heroic attempt. Really, you have nothing to lose—except that nagging feeling that there’s a script inside you that may never get out. So…guys, who are going frenzy with me this year? Aww, come on, join me!

Here’s the infos:

Who: You and everyone you know. No experience required.

What: 100 pages of original scripted material in 30 days. (Screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, and graphic novels are all welcome.)

When: April 1 – 30. Every year. Mark your calendars.

Where: Online and in person (if you want!). Hang out in the forums, join your fellow participants at write-ins, and make friends by adding writing buddies online.

Why: Because you have a story to tell. Because you want a creative challenge. Because you’ll be disappointed if you missed out on the adventure. Because you need to make time for you.

How: Sign up. Tell everyone that you are in the Frenzy. Clear your calendar. Start some wrist exercises. Have fun!

The rules mumbo jumbo:

    1) To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script (or multiple scripts) of at least 100 total pages and verify this tally on ScriptFrenzy.org.
    2) You may write individually or with a partner. Writing teams will have a 100-page total goal for their co-written script or scripts.
    3) Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:00:01 AM on April 1 and must cease no later than 11:59:59 PM on April 30, local time.
    4) You may write screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, comic book and graphic novel scripts, adaptations of novels, or any other type of script your heart desires.
    5) You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

Still unclear? Check their our Frequently Asked Questions. No idea on how to write a script? There’s full guideline on how to write a script on https://www.scriptfrenzy.org.

For those who are in need of writing software formatter for scipt or screenplays, I personally would recommend Final Draft. It’s easy to use, just like other word processors like Open Office as well as MsWords. I bought Final Draft a couple of years ago, and I find it very convenient where script formatting is concern. However, Final Draft is not a free open source software. If you’re looking for something free and easy to use, you can try Cinergy. It’s great for beginner, and it’s completely free. Cinergy was my very first script writing software. I used it when i first started script writing back in 2006, and I’d say, it’s as up to par as Final Draft. You guys can give it a shot if you want.

I have no idea how I can accomplish writing a 100 pages script by the end of April this year as I’m all caked with my work bullshit. But then again, I’ve accomplished the impossible last November by singlehandedly writing a novel with at least 50,000 words in a month for the NaNoWriMo challenge. *grinz* Wish me luck in the frenzy, guys. Feel feel to go frenzy too.

aprilscriptfrenzy

aprilstartwriting

Cleffairy: I must have been born a natural masochist! 😛 Who’s in for the challenge, by the way? Join me in Script Frenzy. Your script might end up a blockbuster for all you know! *grinz* 8)

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Award/Badge, Event coverage

I’m going frenzy! Script Frenzy!

No Comments

flyer320w

Cleff is going nuts again. This time she’s going into a crazy frenzy! Script Frenzy, that is! You guys must be wondering what in the name of hell I’m talking about. Well…for those who have known me for quite some time would probably know that I’m a woman of passion. There’s fiery fire in my vein and I constantly thirst for adventure and challenges. I also probably have mush for brain and a hopeless romantic at heart despite of my awkward and unladylike writings.

I’m also woman with passion for writing, and I would never say no to a challenge related to writing. And so, it would only be appropriate if I take on the Script Frenzy Challenge 2009.

Some of you here might not be familiar with Script Frenzy. Well, allow me to introduce it to you, ladies and gentlemen.

sf_08_email_header_logo1

Script Frenzy is an international writing event in which participants take on the challenge of writing 100 pages of scripted material in the month of April. As part of a donation-funded nonprofit, Script Frenzy charges no fee to participate; there are also no valuable prizes awarded or “best” scripts singled out. Every writer who completes the goal of 100 pages is victorious and awe-inspiring and will receive a handsome Script Frenzy Winner’s Certificate and web icon proclaiming this fact.

Even those who fall short of the word goal will be applauded for making a heroic attempt. Really, you have nothing to lose—except that nagging feeling that there’s a script inside you that may never get out. So…guys, who are going frenzy with me this year? Aww, come on, join me!

Here’s the infos:

Who: You and everyone you know. No experience required.

What: 100 pages of original scripted material in 30 days. (Screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, and graphic novels are all welcome.)

When: April 1 – 30. Every year. Mark your calendars.

Where: Online and in person (if you want!). Hang out in the forums, join your fellow participants at write-ins, and make friends by adding writing buddies online.

Why: Because you have a story to tell. Because you want a creative challenge. Because you’ll be disappointed if you missed out on the adventure. Because you need to make time for you.

How: Sign up. Tell everyone that you are in the Frenzy. Clear your calendar. Start some wrist exercises. Have fun!

The rules mumbo jumbo:

    1) To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script (or multiple scripts) of at least 100 total pages and verify this tally on ScriptFrenzy.org.
    2) You may write individually or with a partner. Writing teams will have a 100-page total goal for their co-written script or scripts.
    3) Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:00:01 AM on April 1 and must cease no later than 11:59:59 PM on April 30, local time.
    4) You may write screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, comic book and graphic novel scripts, adaptations of novels, or any other type of script your heart desires.
    5) You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

Still unclear? Check their our Frequently Asked Questions. No idea on how to write a script? There’s full guideline on how to write a script on https://www.scriptfrenzy.org.

For those who are in need of writing software formatter for scipt or screenplays, I personally would recommend Final Draft. It’s easy to use, just like other word processors like Open Office as well as MsWords. I bought Final Draft a couple of years ago, and I find it very convenient where script formatting is concern. However, Final Draft is not a free open source software. If you’re looking for something free and easy to use, you can try Cinergy. It’s great for beginner, and it’s completely free. Cinergy was my very first script writing software. I used it when i first started script writing back in 2006, and I’d say, it’s as up to par as Final Draft. You guys can give it a shot if you want.

I have no idea how I can accomplish writing a 100 pages script by the end of April this year as I’m all caked with my work bullshit. But then again, I’ve accomplished the impossible last November by singlehandedly writing a novel with at least 50,000 words in a month for the NaNoWriMo challenge. *grinz* Wish me luck in the frenzy, guys. Feel feel to go frenzy too.

aprilscriptfrenzy

aprilstartwriting

Cleffairy: I must have been born a natural masochist! 😛 Who’s in for the challenge, by the way? Join me in Script Frenzy. Your script might end up a blockbuster for all you know! *grinz* 8)

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Award/Badge, Event coverage

I’m going frenzy! Script Frenzy!

No Comments

flyer320w

Cleff is going nuts again. This time she’s going into a crazy frenzy! Script Frenzy, that is! You guys must be wondering what in the name of hell I’m talking about. Well…for those who have known me for quite some time would probably know that I’m a woman of passion. There’s fiery fire in my vein and I constantly thirst for adventure and challenges. I also probably have mush for brain and a hopeless romantic at heart despite of my awkward and unladylike writings.

I’m also woman with passion for writing, and I would never say no to a challenge related to writing. And so, it would only be appropriate if I take on the Script Frenzy Challenge 2009.

Some of you here might not be familiar with Script Frenzy. Well, allow me to introduce it to you, ladies and gentlemen.

sf_08_email_header_logo1

Script Frenzy is an international writing event in which participants take on the challenge of writing 100 pages of scripted material in the month of April. As part of a donation-funded nonprofit, Script Frenzy charges no fee to participate; there are also no valuable prizes awarded or “best” scripts singled out. Every writer who completes the goal of 100 pages is victorious and awe-inspiring and will receive a handsome Script Frenzy Winner’s Certificate and web icon proclaiming this fact.

Even those who fall short of the word goal will be applauded for making a heroic attempt. Really, you have nothing to lose—except that nagging feeling that there’s a script inside you that may never get out. So…guys, who are going frenzy with me this year? Aww, come on, join me!

Here’s the infos:

Who: You and everyone you know. No experience required.

What: 100 pages of original scripted material in 30 days. (Screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, and graphic novels are all welcome.)

When: April 1 – 30. Every year. Mark your calendars.

Where: Online and in person (if you want!). Hang out in the forums, join your fellow participants at write-ins, and make friends by adding writing buddies online.

Why: Because you have a story to tell. Because you want a creative challenge. Because you’ll be disappointed if you missed out on the adventure. Because you need to make time for you.

How: Sign up. Tell everyone that you are in the Frenzy. Clear your calendar. Start some wrist exercises. Have fun!

The rules mumbo jumbo:

    1) To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script (or multiple scripts) of at least 100 total pages and verify this tally on ScriptFrenzy.org.
    2) You may write individually or with a partner. Writing teams will have a 100-page total goal for their co-written script or scripts.
    3) Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:00:01 AM on April 1 and must cease no later than 11:59:59 PM on April 30, local time.
    4) You may write screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, comic book and graphic novel scripts, adaptations of novels, or any other type of script your heart desires.
    5) You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

Still unclear? Check their our Frequently Asked Questions. No idea on how to write a script? There’s full guideline on how to write a script on https://www.scriptfrenzy.org.

For those who are in need of writing software formatter for scipt or screenplays, I personally would recommend Final Draft. It’s easy to use, just like other word processors like Open Office as well as MsWords. I bought Final Draft a couple of years ago, and I find it very convenient where script formatting is concern. However, Final Draft is not a free open source software. If you’re looking for something free and easy to use, you can try Cinergy. It’s great for beginner, and it’s completely free. Cinergy was my very first script writing software. I used it when i first started script writing back in 2006, and I’d say, it’s as up to par as Final Draft. You guys can give it a shot if you want.

I have no idea how I can accomplish writing a 100 pages script by the end of April this year as I’m all caked with my work bullshit. But then again, I’ve accomplished the impossible last November by singlehandedly writing a novel with at least 50,000 words in a month for the NaNoWriMo challenge. *grinz* Wish me luck in the frenzy, guys. Feel feel to go frenzy too.

aprilscriptfrenzy

aprilstartwriting

Cleffairy: I must have been born a natural masochist! 😛 Who’s in for the challenge, by the way? Join me in Script Frenzy. Your script might end up a blockbuster for all you know! *grinz* 8)

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Award/Badge, Event coverage

I'm going frenzy! Script Frenzy!

9 Comments

flyer320w

Cleff is going nuts again. This time she’s going into a crazy frenzy! Script Frenzy, that is! You guys must be wondering what in the name of hell I’m talking about. Well…for those who have known me for quite some time would probably know that I’m a woman of passion. There’s fiery fire in my vein and I constantly thirst for adventure and challenges. I also probably have mush for brain and a hopeless romantic at heart despite of my awkward and unladylike writings.

I’m also woman with passion for writing, and I would never say no to a challenge related to writing. And so, it would only be appropriate if I take on the Script Frenzy Challenge 2009.

Some of you here might not be familiar with Script Frenzy. Well, allow me to introduce it to you, ladies and gentlemen.

sf_08_email_header_logo1

Script Frenzy is an international writing event in which participants take on the challenge of writing 100 pages of scripted material in the month of April. As part of a donation-funded nonprofit, Script Frenzy charges no fee to participate; there are also no valuable prizes awarded or “best” scripts singled out. Every writer who completes the goal of 100 pages is victorious and awe-inspiring and will receive a handsome Script Frenzy Winner’s Certificate and web icon proclaiming this fact.

Even those who fall short of the word goal will be applauded for making a heroic attempt. Really, you have nothing to lose—except that nagging feeling that there’s a script inside you that may never get out. So…guys, who are going frenzy with me this year? Aww, come on, join me!

Here’s the infos:

Who: You and everyone you know. No experience required.

What: 100 pages of original scripted material in 30 days. (Screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, and graphic novels are all welcome.)

When: April 1 – 30. Every year. Mark your calendars.

Where: Online and in person (if you want!). Hang out in the forums, join your fellow participants at write-ins, and make friends by adding writing buddies online.

Why: Because you have a story to tell. Because you want a creative challenge. Because you’ll be disappointed if you missed out on the adventure. Because you need to make time for you.

How: Sign up. Tell everyone that you are in the Frenzy. Clear your calendar. Start some wrist exercises. Have fun!

The rules mumbo jumbo:

    1) To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script (or multiple scripts) of at least 100 total pages and verify this tally on ScriptFrenzy.org.
    2) You may write individually or with a partner. Writing teams will have a 100-page total goal for their co-written script or scripts.
    3) Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:00:01 AM on April 1 and must cease no later than 11:59:59 PM on April 30, local time.
    4) You may write screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, comic book and graphic novel scripts, adaptations of novels, or any other type of script your heart desires.
    5) You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

Still unclear? Check their our Frequently Asked Questions. No idea on how to write a script? There’s full guideline on how to write a script on https://www.scriptfrenzy.org.

For those who are in need of writing software formatter for scipt or screenplays, I personally would recommend Final Draft. It’s easy to use, just like other word processors like Open Office as well as MsWords. I bought Final Draft a couple of years ago, and I find it very convenient where script formatting is concern. However, Final Draft is not a free open source software. If you’re looking for something free and easy to use, you can try Cinergy. It’s great for beginner, and it’s completely free. Cinergy was my very first script writing software. I used it when i first started script writing back in 2006, and I’d say, it’s as up to par as Final Draft. You guys can give it a shot if you want.

I have no idea how I can accomplish writing a 100 pages script by the end of April this year as I’m all caked with my work bullshit. But then again, I’ve accomplished the impossible last November by singlehandedly writing a novel with at least 50,000 words in a month for the NaNoWriMo challenge. *grinz* Wish me luck in the frenzy, guys. Feel feel to go frenzy too.

aprilscriptfrenzy

aprilstartwriting

Cleffairy: I must have been born a natural masochist! 😛 Who’s in for the challenge, by the way? Join me in Script Frenzy. Your script might end up a blockbuster for all you know! *grinz* 8)

Continue Reading