Does the DEAD really help you?

Lack of writing and venting has made my life a living hell. So, here goes my bitching. Hopefully in doing so, I’ll be more sane and my life would be less smelly than some stinking poop with some nasty flies buzzing around to taint the innocence of my nose and my eyes.

As most of you Chinese buggers know, Qing Ming Festival ( 清明節 ) is around the corner. For those who are not ah beng or ah lian enough to know what is Qing Ming Festival, allow me to give short explanation on Qing Ming Festival.

All the bloody hoo hah about Qing Ming Festival is about praying to the dead, or to be more particular, your dead parents or your long dead ancestors who are rotting and decomposing six feet under. Qing Ming Festival is also known as Tomb Sweeping Day or All Souls Day and it’s observed by Chinese Taoist, Chinese Buddhist as well as Chinese Folk Believers. Qing Ming usually fall on 4th or 5th April which is 15th Day of the Spring Equinox.

The significance of this festival is to remember the long dead ancestor and usually the people who observe this festival will gather and bring their family and the descendants of the dead like a troop of army from all corners of the world and pray to the dead and sweep or clean up their tomb as a sign of devotion and love towards their dead ancestors.Some also believed that by praying to their ancestors, good luck will come and their life will be blessed.

While some perform the prayers to the dead as a sign of devotion, most elders emphasize on celebrating Qing Ming because they thought it’s a damn great idea to get their busy modern kids to remember their roots or whatsoever contributions their ancestors has made. In other words, it’s a bloody fine trick to get the kids from the bustling city to go back hometown to spend a couple of days with them and the kids have no excuse not to do it because the elders could lecture the kids that they have to go back and pray because it’s their damn obligation to do so.

Most kids these days don’t give a damn about Qing Ming whatsoever. But most are afraid, because they know what will happen if they don’t go back or spend some time to pray to their ancestors. The elders will yadda yadda and nag nag like the most common bitchy housewife you can find in those smelly wet market, and the next thing you know is the news of your fucking unfilial self will be broadcast with the efficiency of CNN and the Internet. Your reputation in the family will never be the same again, and your forehead will be labeled a ‘BITCH’ or a ‘BASTARD’ for being unfilial in the entire clan of your family.

So, bottom line is, even though most modern and open minded youngsters rather be off somewhere else instead of praying and cleaning up graves of people that they don’t even know under the the hot sun, they had no choice, because the only way to shut the pie hole of the elders is by doing whatever fucking thing they asked you to do so that you could spare your innocent eyes and ears from libel and seditions from family clan afterwards.

Growing up from a modern family, I never believed that by praying to the ancestors could bring any luck or benefit. If one tell me that you must pray to your ancestors because you need to tell your brats about family history, that I believe, but not the blessing and financial luck abracadabra. Hell, I don’t even believe that God or any other entity will help you just by praying to Him, because you still need to make some effort to get a good life.

If by praying alone could settle a lot of problems, then why the hell the world is constantly in crisis and at war? If by praying alone could feed the entire family, why the hell do we still need to work our butt off every goddamn day? If by praying alone could makeyou rich, then I supposed, we’ll have cash as rain instead of raindrops.

I have ‘opened’ eyes that can see many things others can see. Wandering soul, dead relatives, you name it. The dead cannot help, no matter how people try to prove and drilled to into your thick skull about it. They are the ones who need help instead, so praying FOR their soul so that they could rest in peace would be more fitting and appropriate than to pray to them to help you with your god forsaken life.

So, peeps, if you bring your brats to the graveyard to clean the tombs of the ancestors that they do not even know, kindly tell them that there is no such thing as an easy way out and not get their hopes high about getting a new remote control car or a new PSP after praying. They are gonna be disappointed and resent the whole Qing Ming thingie if they found out that the tomb of their dead ancestors doesn’t work like making a wish upon a Genie in a bottle. Unless of course, if you decided to act like a Santa Clause and buy em their wishes afterwards.

Cleffairy: It’s too cliche… why do you need to pray to the ancestors if you believed in reincarnation? The long dead ancestors would have been reincarnated, would they not?

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How to recruit the right person for the job?

I have a lot of things to bitch about, but then again, they’re very unpleasant, so I’ll just spare your innocents eyes and save it for later and share a joke that my good friend Pauline sent to me some times ago.


HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.

If they are counting the Bricks.
Put them in the accounts Department .

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing ..
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering .

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning .

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security .

If they have broken the bricks into pieces..
Put them in information Technology .

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources .

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing .

If they are staring out of the Window.
Put them on strategic Planning.

And last but not least…

If they have been talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved…

Congratulate them

and put them in

Top

management


Cleffairy: Most bosses are NATO- No Action, Talk Only!

ps: Visit Calvin’s blog for related post. LOL.


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Pooplitic…

Woots, it’s Friday again, and here’s Eugene’s special quiz. 😛 Even though this is not a tag, I really do enjoy answering his witty questionnaire. So, here’s my take on his Qs:
1)If Najib and Abdullah were to fight it out in the boxing ring, and Anwar being the referee, who do you think will emerge as the champ and who will get the black eye?

Are you kidding me? Anwar will get the black eye, indefinitely. Because Abdullah will end up sleeping at the side of the ring instead of fighting Najib anyway. Tell me, where’s the fun boxing someone who is off to dreamland?

2)In all your creativity, what funny words can you come out with from the acroynm of C4?

Cibai 4 you.

3)If you need to kill someone off politically, what scandals can you conjure besides sex tapes, nude pictures and corruption ?

The picture of them digging nose in public. Unhygienic, you know? Must get rid of these kind of abomination.

4)If “Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka” was the shout of independance in 1957, what 3 uniformed words can we shout now in 2009 “—,—,— ” fill in the blank,please ?

In 2009, we should shout ‘Celaka, Celaka, Celaka!’

5)Why do you think our politicians love to use this phrase “No Comment” ?

This is the best way to avoid lying and the reporters will accept it as they have mo to speculate and write about.

6)If i publicly declare that i am promiscuous, casanova and am a playboy, do you think i have a place in Malaysia’s political arena or will you vote me into the office?

Damn right you have the place in Malaysian political arena. Not only you will have a place, you’ll have loads of supporters who wannabe like you too. You’ll be like a sort of idol figure in the political arena if you have such traits.

7)If Malaysia’s politicians must be given a cartoon character’s name, what do you think best suits Samee Veelu, Kor Chu Koon , Choy Shoy Lek and K,Toyol ?

Samy- Captain Planet, Khor Tsu Koon- Gaban, Chua Soi Lek-Darth Vader, Khir Toyo-Jaffar(The villain from Alladdin)

8)If Spiderman were to fight a villian (in term of a political figure) in Malaysia, who do you that villian would be?

Najib.

9)Who makes more money in Malaysia, a prominent brain surgeon or ruling party’s politician?

The ruling party’s politician, of course. Duh, that was obvious, wasn’t it? Only the dumb, the blind and the deaf couldn’t figure that out!

10)Name one movie that has the strongest resemblance that can best describe our political stituation ?
Mission Impossible. Well… no resemblance, but Malaysia political mayhem is almost impossible to settle, isn’t it?

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What is better? Hongkeys? Indonesian? Singaporean or Malaysian?

My Aunt Iris sent me this the other day, and I’d like to share it with you guys. Lighten up, people, and have a nice weekend.

Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians

Being Hongkies is good because…*
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5′ x 5′ cubicle and call it luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee Hwa
or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the
place to for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.

We love being Singaporean because…*
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except
ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is
the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia – keep a
few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw anything anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not
ending up with a summon as long as we have RM50 with us to spare.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl “Do you have CPF?”
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country – S$20 taxi
ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We’ll never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit… nyek nyek nyek.
12. It’s OK to be Kiasu. It’s part of our culture.

Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follow:
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia .
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries…
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus
Dur or Megawati or who’s next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so…
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause
haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing… nyek nyek nyek.
9. We don’t need fire fighters as our neighbours will
provide… *

Being a Malaysian is the best because:
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates…because Malaysia Boleh!
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another
driver, talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and bribing the traffic police at the same time.
3. We divorce by sending SMS.
4. Traffic summon can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space
ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity b’coz our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or
government or opposition parties or…
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van,
one to carry the ladder, one to change a street’s bulb and three others watching.
9. We make 2 lane trunk roads into 3 lane highway and back
to 2 lane when polices are sighted
10. There’s always something for the JKR to do. They
dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface…
11. All main roads are designated highway because it gives a reason to collect toll and make more $.
12. Our government can never be wrong.
13. Our badminton players win already only need to pay them
RM35,000 very cheap compare to David Beckham.
14. If you’re a rich ass or Datuk, ou can divorce for as little as RM 10 million ringgit and marry a young singer you like, how god is that?
15. We can even used C4 bomb to bombard Gengkis Khan or
Kublai Khan’s descendants.
16. We have more water than Singapore … nyek nyek nyek.
17. If you got no monies you can also snatch others people
monies.
18. If you are a policeman rider you can kick and bang
people car like nobody’s business
19. If you drive a police car, you can speed cause speed
limit only apply to citizen.
20. All motor rider can join Mat Rempit club for free and can throw stones at the police station anytime they like.
21. If you got nothing to do join the Rela and go to the
kongsi gelap or Ah long and extort monies from them.
22. You can rape people and blame them for wearing very
little, what a joke, man.
23. The PM can be the world’s biggest liar,daylight
robber, sleep on the job, racist & hypocrite and get away with it.
After reading the above, I believe you will agree with me
that being Malaysian is still the best. You have to be glad that you are a Malaysian and enjoy staying in Malaysia ! You can do whatever you wan and whatever you like as long as you got the power and money to do so.


Cleffairy: Power is money and money is power. In some ways, money can’s buy love, but can buy power. Do you agree with me?

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OMG, oral sex is illegal!

Just a short entry to vent on this issue, dear readers. Below is a news excerpt from The Star newspaper.

KUALA LUMPUR: Police want to interview the woman who was filmed performing oral sex with former Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek.

Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan said police were looking for her following two re­­ports lodged recently in Ampang and Petaling Jaya.

“We are investigating the case un­­der Section 377A of the Penal Code for carnal intercourse against the order of nature as the two people who lodged the reports claimed that there was oral sex in the DVD.

What the fuck? Now oral sex is considered against the course of nature? Excuse me dude, define oral sex, please. Does this mean that we cannot perform any licking or sucking of private parts during our sexual intercourse with our partner? Wow… that means if you were to make your wife suck your dick or you go and lick your wife’s breasts or stick a tongue in her pussy while you’re having passionate sex, then that means you’re actually breaking the law?

Good grief! What is considered normal then? Just a simple rhythmic penetration while your partner lay on the bed like some log and stare at the ceiling until it’s over? Well, if that is the case, one might as well practice celibacy, seriously. There will be no joy and satisfaction in sexual relationship if there is no caressing or intimate foreplay is involved.

If I were to be told that performing oral sex to satisfy your partner is something against the Malaysian law, then I suppose I’m better off in other countries where people can actually be sued for invasion of privacy, not the other way around.

Seriously speaking, I’m more than certain that all married couple in Malaysia actually performed oral sex with their spouse before. One would be lying if they say they never did such a thing before. French kissing is also a part of oral sex, so to me, this CSL case is actually politically motivated to bring him down, since he’s getting into hotsoup for fighting with OTK. Oh, please… don’t you guys have better weapon in your armor to fight off CSL? Can’t you do any better than bringing up the oral sex issue? What’s the matter you ball-less? Your dick is too limp to fight like a man instead of having personal attack like this?

It’s not a wonder that the statistic showed that Malaysians are not so hot in bed. We’re expected to have some 5 minutes sex and lay on the bed while staring at the ceiling like some dead meat. Tsk! Even foreplay such as oral sex is also considered as something disgusting and against the course of nature. Tsk tsk tsk!

Cleffairy: I LOVE FRENCH KISSING! SO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? SUE ME? GO TO HELL ASSHOLE!

ps: On a more serious note, CSL must be quite clean from any corruption case that it resorted ‘them’ to use CSL’s ‘lack of morality’ to bring him down.

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So…what is ‘normal’?

I really had a good laugh this morning over my usual cuppa tea when the saw the Star online newspaper. There’s this particular news that tickles my funny bones. Want to know what it is, dear readers? Well, it’s no other than the news of Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek’s hot porn DVD returning to haunt him once again. Now, I really had a good laugh is not because I was happy or pleased that his infidelities towards his wife and family came back to ‘haunt’ him in some ways, but it was because of this particular sentence:

“We are investigating the case under Section 292 of the Penal Code for distribution and possession of pornographic material and Section 377A for carnal intercourse against the order of nature.”

Get it? They are investigating the poor chap for having carnal intercourse against the order of nature. Good grief! ‘Carnal intercourse against the order of nature’. Does that actually translate ‘abnormal behaviour’ during sexual intercourse?

Seriously, what can be considered abnormal or against the course of nature in regards of sexual intercourse? Having a penis or a kind of sex toy penetrated in someone’s private parts such as the vagina or anus? Biting and scratching your partner? Or role-playing in bed- you know, where partners dress up and pretend as someone else to arouse one another… Well, if that’s considered not normal, then licking of breasts or vagina is also not normal then, because arousing your partner that way is actually imitating animals, isn’t it?

I am not sure how to define ‘normal’ in regards to sexual intercourse. You see, as far as I’m concern, once you strip off your clothes and jumped into bed together with your willing partner, everything is normal I suppose, and it doesn’t matter how you go about it in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. To me, as long as both are satiated and nobody gets hurt , that is normal enough or as they say-letting nature takes it’s course.

I just don’t get it! these authorities are having nothing better to do than sticking their noses in someone’s pussy and asses, trying to take a whiff of something rotten and stinky ! For goodness sake, there are so many children being sexually abused with the most recent one the one year old baby being sexually abused and yet they sticking their noses to where? oh, excuse me, let me answer that… they’re sticking their noses to Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek’s dickhead.

Hey, sorry for being vulgar, but I am displeased by the fact that they are investigating such rubbish when justice are unserved elsewhere. Good heavens, what is becoming of this world? Or rather, what is becoming of Malaysia. Investigating a case of consensual ‘abnormal sexual antics’ between two adults is more important than going out to catch rapists or robbers. Yes… this is Malaysia. Go Malaysia! This is Malaysia Boleh spirit at the very best. God, please knock some senses into those horny assholes who got nothing better to do than watch Chua Soi Lek’s jiggly bits bouncing on and off every damn day during their working hour.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not supporting whatever Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek did-having sex with another woman who is not his wife, in fact, I condemn everyone who performs the acts of infidelities, but then again, if his wife forgave him for his infidelities, as outsiders, we should have nothing to say about it, because this is his business with his wife and family, not us. No one, no one at all should be given voices to scrutinize someone else marriage. And nobody should be given rights to say what is normal or what is not normal in regards to someone’s sexual preference as long the act was between two consensual adults.

NOBODY should be given power to dictate on how you should go about having sex with your partner, as this stuff, it’s actually very personal. Why should you let other people tell you that ‘doggy style’ is not normal or 69 style is disgusting or anal penetration is not allowed between a man and a woman when those people are not involved in the sexual act itself?

I’ll condemn those people who commits adultery any day, but I’ll be damned if i don’t condemn those who comment on how one should have sex with his or her partner, because I’ll never know when some asshole going to install a spy cam in my home or something and record my Kamatsutra acts with my husband and drags me to court for committing carnal intercourse against the order of nature.

Cleffairy: I may not know what is not normal in regards to sexual intercourse, because to me, whatever you do with your partner in bed comes naturally-no matter what people say. But I do know that poking your noses in places you shouldn’t be and commenting on how people should or should not have sex during your 9-5 job is not normal.

Continue Reading

So…what is 'normal'?

I really had a good laugh this morning over my usual cuppa tea when the saw the Star online newspaper. There’s this particular news that tickles my funny bones. Want to know what it is, dear readers? Well, it’s no other than the news of Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek’s hot porn DVD returning to haunt him once again. Now, I really had a good laugh is not because I was happy or pleased that his infidelities towards his wife and family came back to ‘haunt’ him in some ways, but it was because of this particular sentence:

“We are investigating the case under Section 292 of the Penal Code for distribution and possession of pornographic material and Section 377A for carnal intercourse against the order of nature.”

Get it? They are investigating the poor chap for having carnal intercourse against the order of nature. Good grief! ‘Carnal intercourse against the order of nature’. Does that actually translate ‘abnormal behaviour’ during sexual intercourse?

Seriously, what can be considered abnormal or against the course of nature in regards of sexual intercourse? Having a penis or a kind of sex toy penetrated in someone’s private parts such as the vagina or anus? Biting and scratching your partner? Or role-playing in bed- you know, where partners dress up and pretend as someone else to arouse one another… Well, if that’s considered not normal, then licking of breasts or vagina is also not normal then, because arousing your partner that way is actually imitating animals, isn’t it?

I am not sure how to define ‘normal’ in regards to sexual intercourse. You see, as far as I’m concern, once you strip off your clothes and jumped into bed together with your willing partner, everything is normal I suppose, and it doesn’t matter how you go about it in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. To me, as long as both are satiated and nobody gets hurt , that is normal enough or as they say-letting nature takes it’s course.

I just don’t get it! these authorities are having nothing better to do than sticking their noses in someone’s pussy and asses, trying to take a whiff of something rotten and stinky ! For goodness sake, there are so many children being sexually abused with the most recent one the one year old baby being sexually abused and yet they sticking their noses to where? oh, excuse me, let me answer that… they’re sticking their noses to Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek’s dickhead.

Hey, sorry for being vulgar, but I am displeased by the fact that they are investigating such rubbish when justice are unserved elsewhere. Good heavens, what is becoming of this world? Or rather, what is becoming of Malaysia. Investigating a case of consensual ‘abnormal sexual antics’ between two adults is more important than going out to catch rapists or robbers. Yes… this is Malaysia. Go Malaysia! This is Malaysia Boleh spirit at the very best. God, please knock some senses into those horny assholes who got nothing better to do than watch Chua Soi Lek’s jiggly bits bouncing on and off every damn day during their working hour.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not supporting whatever Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek did-having sex with another woman who is not his wife, in fact, I condemn everyone who performs the acts of infidelities, but then again, if his wife forgave him for his infidelities, as outsiders, we should have nothing to say about it, because this is his business with his wife and family, not us. No one, no one at all should be given voices to scrutinize someone else marriage. And nobody should be given rights to say what is normal or what is not normal in regards to someone’s sexual preference as long the act was between two consensual adults.

NOBODY should be given power to dictate on how you should go about having sex with your partner, as this stuff, it’s actually very personal. Why should you let other people tell you that ‘doggy style’ is not normal or 69 style is disgusting or anal penetration is not allowed between a man and a woman when those people are not involved in the sexual act itself?

I’ll condemn those people who commits adultery any day, but I’ll be damned if i don’t condemn those who comment on how one should have sex with his or her partner, because I’ll never know when some asshole going to install a spy cam in my home or something and record my Kamatsutra acts with my husband and drags me to court for committing carnal intercourse against the order of nature.

Cleffairy: I may not know what is not normal in regards to sexual intercourse, because to me, whatever you do with your partner in bed comes naturally-no matter what people say. But I do know that poking your noses in places you shouldn’t be and commenting on how people should or should not have sex during your 9-5 job is not normal.

Continue Reading

So…what is ‘normal’?

I really had a good laugh this morning over my usual cuppa tea when the saw the Star online newspaper. There’s this particular news that tickles my funny bones. Want to know what it is, dear readers? Well, it’s no other than the news of Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek’s hot porn DVD returning to haunt him once again. Now, I really had a good laugh is not because I was happy or pleased that his infidelities towards his wife and family came back to ‘haunt’ him in some ways, but it was because of this particular sentence:

“We are investigating the case under Section 292 of the Penal Code for distribution and possession of pornographic material and Section 377A for carnal intercourse against the order of nature.”

Get it? They are investigating the poor chap for having carnal intercourse against the order of nature. Good grief! ‘Carnal intercourse against the order of nature’. Does that actually translate ‘abnormal behaviour’ during sexual intercourse?

Seriously, what can be considered abnormal or against the course of nature in regards of sexual intercourse? Having a penis or a kind of sex toy penetrated in someone’s private parts such as the vagina or anus? Biting and scratching your partner? Or role-playing in bed- you know, where partners dress up and pretend as someone else to arouse one another… Well, if that’s considered not normal, then licking of breasts or vagina is also not normal then, because arousing your partner that way is actually imitating animals, isn’t it?

I am not sure how to define ‘normal’ in regards to sexual intercourse. You see, as far as I’m concern, once you strip off your clothes and jumped into bed together with your willing partner, everything is normal I suppose, and it doesn’t matter how you go about it in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. To me, as long as both are satiated and nobody gets hurt , that is normal enough or as they say-letting nature takes it’s course.

I just don’t get it! these authorities are having nothing better to do than sticking their noses in someone’s pussy and asses, trying to take a whiff of something rotten and stinky ! For goodness sake, there are so many children being sexually abused with the most recent one the one year old baby being sexually abused and yet they sticking their noses to where? oh, excuse me, let me answer that… they’re sticking their noses to Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek’s dickhead.

Hey, sorry for being vulgar, but I am displeased by the fact that they are investigating such rubbish when justice are unserved elsewhere. Good heavens, what is becoming of this world? Or rather, what is becoming of Malaysia. Investigating a case of consensual ‘abnormal sexual antics’ between two adults is more important than going out to catch rapists or robbers. Yes… this is Malaysia. Go Malaysia! This is Malaysia Boleh spirit at the very best. God, please knock some senses into those horny assholes who got nothing better to do than watch Chua Soi Lek’s jiggly bits bouncing on and off every damn day during their working hour.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not supporting whatever Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek did-having sex with another woman who is not his wife, in fact, I condemn everyone who performs the acts of infidelities, but then again, if his wife forgave him for his infidelities, as outsiders, we should have nothing to say about it, because this is his business with his wife and family, not us. No one, no one at all should be given voices to scrutinize someone else marriage. And nobody should be given rights to say what is normal or what is not normal in regards to someone’s sexual preference as long the act was between two consensual adults.

NOBODY should be given power to dictate on how you should go about having sex with your partner, as this stuff, it’s actually very personal. Why should you let other people tell you that ‘doggy style’ is not normal or 69 style is disgusting or anal penetration is not allowed between a man and a woman when those people are not involved in the sexual act itself?

I’ll condemn those people who commits adultery any day, but I’ll be damned if i don’t condemn those who comment on how one should have sex with his or her partner, because I’ll never know when some asshole going to install a spy cam in my home or something and record my Kamatsutra acts with my husband and drags me to court for committing carnal intercourse against the order of nature.

Cleffairy: I may not know what is not normal in regards to sexual intercourse, because to me, whatever you do with your partner in bed comes naturally-no matter what people say. But I do know that poking your noses in places you shouldn’t be and commenting on how people should or should not have sex during your 9-5 job is not normal.

Continue Reading

So…what is ‘normal’?

I really had a good laugh this morning over my usual cuppa tea when the saw the Star online newspaper. There’s this particular news that tickles my funny bones. Want to know what it is, dear readers? Well, it’s no other than the news of Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek’s hot porn DVD returning to haunt him once again. Now, I really had a good laugh is not because I was happy or pleased that his infidelities towards his wife and family came back to ‘haunt’ him in some ways, but it was because of this particular sentence:

“We are investigating the case under Section 292 of the Penal Code for distribution and possession of pornographic material and Section 377A for carnal intercourse against the order of nature.”

Get it? They are investigating the poor chap for having carnal intercourse against the order of nature. Good grief! ‘Carnal intercourse against the order of nature’. Does that actually translate ‘abnormal behaviour’ during sexual intercourse?

Seriously, what can be considered abnormal or against the course of nature in regards of sexual intercourse? Having a penis or a kind of sex toy penetrated in someone’s private parts such as the vagina or anus? Biting and scratching your partner? Or role-playing in bed- you know, where partners dress up and pretend as someone else to arouse one another… Well, if that’s considered not normal, then licking of breasts or vagina is also not normal then, because arousing your partner that way is actually imitating animals, isn’t it?

I am not sure how to define ‘normal’ in regards to sexual intercourse. You see, as far as I’m concern, once you strip off your clothes and jumped into bed together with your willing partner, everything is normal I suppose, and it doesn’t matter how you go about it in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. To me, as long as both are satiated and nobody gets hurt , that is normal enough or as they say-letting nature takes it’s course.

I just don’t get it! these authorities are having nothing better to do than sticking their noses in someone’s pussy and asses, trying to take a whiff of something rotten and stinky ! For goodness sake, there are so many children being sexually abused with the most recent one the one year old baby being sexually abused and yet they sticking their noses to where? oh, excuse me, let me answer that… they’re sticking their noses to Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek’s dickhead.

Hey, sorry for being vulgar, but I am displeased by the fact that they are investigating such rubbish when justice are unserved elsewhere. Good heavens, what is becoming of this world? Or rather, what is becoming of Malaysia. Investigating a case of consensual ‘abnormal sexual antics’ between two adults is more important than going out to catch rapists or robbers. Yes… this is Malaysia. Go Malaysia! This is Malaysia Boleh spirit at the very best. God, please knock some senses into those horny assholes who got nothing better to do than watch Chua Soi Lek’s jiggly bits bouncing on and off every damn day during their working hour.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not supporting whatever Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek did-having sex with another woman who is not his wife, in fact, I condemn everyone who performs the acts of infidelities, but then again, if his wife forgave him for his infidelities, as outsiders, we should have nothing to say about it, because this is his business with his wife and family, not us. No one, no one at all should be given voices to scrutinize someone else marriage. And nobody should be given rights to say what is normal or what is not normal in regards to someone’s sexual preference as long the act was between two consensual adults.

NOBODY should be given power to dictate on how you should go about having sex with your partner, as this stuff, it’s actually very personal. Why should you let other people tell you that ‘doggy style’ is not normal or 69 style is disgusting or anal penetration is not allowed between a man and a woman when those people are not involved in the sexual act itself?

I’ll condemn those people who commits adultery any day, but I’ll be damned if i don’t condemn those who comment on how one should have sex with his or her partner, because I’ll never know when some asshole going to install a spy cam in my home or something and record my Kamatsutra acts with my husband and drags me to court for committing carnal intercourse against the order of nature.

Cleffairy: I may not know what is not normal in regards to sexual intercourse, because to me, whatever you do with your partner in bed comes naturally-no matter what people say. But I do know that poking your noses in places you shouldn’t be and commenting on how people should or should not have sex during your 9-5 job is not normal.

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Dumb bimbo bitch with LV bags…

Some of you might be wondering if Cleffairy is still alive or already rotting six feet under. The answer is no. I am not dead yet or even rotting six feet under, though I practically feel like a walking corpse these days as by the end of the day, I’m practically too drained to even do things that I enjoy doing. There is no articles being published since last Friday because I’ve been very busy, and I barely have enough time to unwind. I just hate it when there’s so many things to do and yet there’s not much time for everything.

Since today I managed to steal some time to unwind and do things that I love to do, let’s get to business, shall we? Okay, here goes nothing. All right, a couple of days ago,I was forced to take LRT to move about as I sent my damn car to service. As much as I want to complain on the inefficiency of the LRT system, I wanted to complain about the ladies riding on it even more. I’m sorry if this entry somehow offend some of you out there, but if I don’t blurt this out, I think I might go crazy.

It was midday, and there’s not much passengers on the LRT.  I was relieved that there’s a lot of unoccupied seats around. Smiling to myself and without feeling guilty about taking seats that’s meant for the disabled and pregnant  women, I sat down and took out a novel from my handbag and read them happily and contently. Unfortunately, my happiness was short-lived and was killed at the next stop, as a bunch of ladies boarded the LRT, chatting loudly  in a very unladylike manner.

I sighed and stopped reading my novel so that I could looked at the loudmouthed culprits who had just murdered my mood. I half expected to see some uneducated ladies or something, but much to my surprise, I saw a bunch of ladies who are probably a couple of years older than me chatting and talking loudly. All of them are well-dressed, and looked like typical blue collared working women. I groaned in despair at the predicament that I was placed in, and knowing that I could no longer read my novel in peace as a result of their very loud interference, I gave all of them a thorough look, from head to toe. Three of them are Malay ladies while another one is a Chinese lady. Their skin and physical appearance may differ from one another, but they definitely have at least two things in common and I would classify them as elephant wearing skirts or a walking Xmas tree without having any guilt of calling them names.

While these women are definitely in need of toning down on their accessories and should make trips to some gym or slimming centre, they definite do not need someone to tell them what’s the ‘in thing’ of the season, as ALL of them were carrying an LV handbag. I’m not sure if these women bought original LV bags or the imitations, but seeing from the way they dressed up and talked to each other, I could guess that they bought originals. Shamefully, I could say that these women are oblivious towards what’s going on in the country, as in the times of the great depression, these bitches are still talking about making shopping trips and swiping their credit cards silly. And in the times of political uncertainties in Malaysia, these women cares nothing about it, and I doubt they understand or even know anything about it.

Listening to their conversation shamed me as a woman indefinitely. I cannot believe that there are still a lot of women out there who cares nothing about what’s going on in Malaysia and the rest of the world as instead of talking about politics and whatnot, they talked about fashion, how to spend money, scheming for their partner’s money and nonsense with the same degree. Their conversation are worth nothing. Listening to such conversation is such a waste of time as they are not enriching to the brain, and simply annoying to my ears. The only good thing that came out from listening to these conversation is that they managed to provoke my thoughts and I get some inspiration on writing about this- Dumb bimbo bitch with LV bags.

Mercy heaven upon me, I just can’t believe that there are so many women out there who cares nothing but the trend!  I can’t believe it! Women! Wake up! Start learning and doing some useful thinking instead of just caring about what brand of bags or underwear is the ‘in’ thing of the season! What the fuck are you women doing? The world is encountering various changes, and you women should be aware of it and not oblivious towards what’s going on around you. How the hell are you people going to survive and be respected if all you could crack about is just some stupid fashion stuff? With women like you, it’s not a wonder that the chauvinists are still laughing at us for the lack of knowledge in every fields!

All right, some of you ladies out there who owned or using an LV bag at the moment would cursed me or accuse me of being jealous of your possession for saying this, but I just don’t get it! And no, I’m not jealous of your possession, in fact, I feel that most of you are ignorant enough to fall for the so called ‘high fashion trap’. What good do you actually get for buying impractical branded bags? Okay, so you get to show off your financial status and stuff, but I couldn’t crack up what other benefits than just showing off your stupid bags.

What the fuck is it with the LV handbags that almost every damn female covet the bag of this bloody brand so much? It seems that almost all women that I encountered these days would carry an LV bag without failed, and I’m sort of annoyed by their fascination over the damned label. Most would go great length just so they could own one of these bags. They are willing to spend disgusting amount of money to own one, and as far as I’m concerned, some even have credit cards debts, thanks to those stupid original LV bags.

What’s so special about it anyway? I just don’t get it. Some of their designs are impractical for daily usage. Some of them are damned small to even put more than a purse and a lipstick in it while the rest looks pretty strange and hard to take care of because of their light colours. I am a woman myself, but I could not understand why most women these days are so obsessed with LV bags-or other brand of handbags that could cost up to more than Rm2000 each while their designed are impractical and could attract snatch thief any day? I really don’t get it. To me, the purpose of having a handbag is to keep your valuable or useful possession in it so that you could carry it around with no hassle at all. So, please, enlighten me, ladies. Why the hell some of you bought small bags that could barely contain your purse in it with such a disgusting price? Don’t you guys know any better ways to spend your money on?

With Rm2000, one could do more than just buy a stupid bag with some printed or embossed logos on it. I JUST DON’T GET IT! Why the fuck these bags are so special that everyone around me seems to go crazy over it? Even the men are buying stupid LV bags for their partners as a ‘token of love’. This is absolutely without a doubt, the most foolish thing I’ve ever seen! Women who bought impractical bags are stupid enough. But the men who buys those expensive small handbags that could barely fit a few stuff in it is even more stupid. It’s just a waste of money because such things are usually seasonal and would be out of trend in short period of time.

Some of you might flame me on the bag that I carry in defense of what I wrote, but before you guys say anything, I’d like to say that I am not ashamed of carrying my cheap handbag bought from a night market a couple of months ago. It may be inexpensive and not the ‘in’ thing, but it served it’s purpose well. It’s moderate in size with many compartment and it could carry my purse, my handphone(I usually put my handphone in my pocket though), my voice recorder/mp3 player, my organizer, a pen, my digital camera, my car&house keys, my must have novel, a mirror, a letter opener, panadols, a sanitary pad and if I want, some cosmetics in it. Can your disgustingly expensive but small bag fit all these?

Cleffairy: Why buy a damn bag that cost a bomb but could barely fit a purse in it? Enlighten me please.

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