It’s been a long time since I last post up something sexy, isn’t it? It’s been almost a year. Well… I think it’s high time I do something about it. Today, let us talk about the art of pleasuring women that most men neglect to pay attention to: The art of fingering.
Did you know that using your fingers on a woman’s vagina can reap amazing results? Given that you use the right finger techniques, of course.
But before you get to work, however, do take note on one thing: A woman needs to be revved up and ready to go before you can manipulate her vagina with these finger techniques. You can’t just shove your fingers inside her or rub her clitoris without ensuring arousal first. So, remember to turn her on before you introduce her to your hands. The art of fingering is all about being subtle and sensuous. And the art of being subtle and sensuous is all about foreplay.
There’s a couple of interesting technique that men could try to experiment with:
Screwing (no pun intended)
You’ll need to use your index and middle fingers for this one. Sit between her legs and start off with the palm of your hand facing down. Insert your fingers all the way in, then turn your hand so that your palm is facing up and comes out. Repeat it as often as necessary until she reaches orgasm. When you turn your hand so that your palm faces up, tap her clitoris with your thumb each time.
The G-spot indicator
Sitting in front of her with your palm facing up, insert your finger(s) inside her and make a “come hither” motion. Your objective is to try to tap her belly button from the inside, in effect, hitting her G-spot. Don’t get aggressive right away, however. Start off slowly and, judging by her reaction, keep the same pace or increase speed.
The shocker
If you and your woman enjoy experimenting and you’ve explored the back end before, this one may be quite enjoyable for her. While you’re using your index and middle fingers in her vagina, stick your pinkie finger in her anus. While you go in and out, both holes will be stimulated simultaneously.
The slider
This finger technique needs good lubrication. With your index and middle fingers, start off by placing the tips of your fingers on either side of her clitoris, then glide down and make your way inside her vagina. Get back to where you started and keep repeating this maneuver.
Manipulating the vagina to orgasm is not as difficult as you may think. Once you manage to arouse her mind, her body will follow. And of course, you should encourage her to be vocal about what she likes.
The rubber
The clitoris is the place to stimulate for most women. When she’s adequately self-lubricated, or you’ve put some water-based lube on your fingers, use the tips of your index and middle fingers to rub her clitoris softly in a circular motion. Her reaction will let you know that you’re on to something. Continue your pace and slowly begin to increase speed. At no point, however, should you go so fast that you end up losing focus.
The helping hand
If you can manage to use both hands at different tempos, she’ll keep getting wetter. While using the tips of your fingers on one hand to rub her clitoris in a circular motion, use the index and middle fingers of the other hand to glide in and out of her vagina. The multiple sensations will serve to increase her chances of reaching orgasm. It’s not a race, however; you don’t have to go as fast as humanly possible. Just keep a steady rhythm. If she wants it faster, she’ll let you know.
Cleffairy: Now… there’s more reason for you to keep your nails short…
It was 3rd day of Chinese new year. My family and I are supposed to head back to KL, but because my husband needs to meet his friend who came from KL back in his hometown, we had to postpone our journey back to KL a little bit. Oh well, not much I can do there.
My husband asked me if I wanted to follow him to meet this friend. Gee…isn’t that nice and thoughtful of him? But then again, once bitten twice shy. I don’t exactly agree with people who is cocky and have the ego that can compete with the Everest. I also do not sit well with the idea that this feller had somehow accused my son for being a rude little bastard for not having eye contact with him when he spoke to my son.
So, I did not follow him to meet his friend. Instead, I ended up going to McD playland with my boy for a couple of hours while my husband went to have a drink or two with his friend somewhere else in town.
Waiting for a couple of hours in McD playland may not be so appealing to others, but I wasn’t not sure if I can be civil and polite if I were to sit at the same table with my husband’s friend.
You see, I can still recall that this feller told my husband that the boy ought to be slapped for not having eye contact with people when he is spoken to not long ago.
Imagine that. This feller barely knew me. I bet he did not even know my name (he didn’t bother asking my name, and my husband does not exactly make a habit of introducing me to his friends either), and yet…he made loads of remarks as if he had known me and my son for ages.
Just because you’re older, buster, that does not mean I will think you’re right and smarter than me or anyone else in the world for that matter. In fact, I don’t exactly respect elders unless they really deserves to be respected either. For some, respect must be earned, not just given.
I think, the man did not know that I actually understood the language that he spoke to my husband and a group of young lads who are still unmarried. Good Lord… just because I do not speak any Chinese dialect it does not mean that I don’t understand what people are saying.
You see… my son is not your regular kid. He’s an ADHD child with mild Asperger. Which means… eye contact when strangers speak to him is absolutely out of question. That does not make him rude or dumb.
It merely means that he is listening without looking at you. This does not mean he is a good for nothing or a retard either. My boy may lack social skills, but if you see him play piano, you would be really amazed. He could play by hearing. One skill I think not many posses. (Yours truly included… she’s musically illiterate)
Ask any medical practitioners and they would tell you the same thing. Such children do not make eye contact when they’re spoken to unless they are really familiar with the one who are speaking to them.
What the hell is wrong with all these people? They accuse people’s kid for being rude and yet they don’t exactly demonstrate absolute politeness either. If they are polite, would they make nasty remarks even when my husband and I was there and behaved as if they know all? Civilized people too, do not just let their wives picks up after their mess while they yak and yak with their friends merrily after binging at their kid’s birthday party either.*insert expletive of choice*
Anyway, I did my part and inform this feller that my son is a special child and has ADHD and why he behaves the way he did, and why he will not make eye contact with people when he’s spoken to.
My husband may feel uncomfortable explaining to all of his friends about the boy’s condition, but I’m not exactly a patient person who feel ashamed of they boy’s condition. He’s born that way and therefore, I don’t see any harm in letting people know about it. And if people can’t accept him the way he is, then I too, cannot accept such people, and I think I am better off without their existence in my life. They boy and I are one package. If you can’t accept either one, you can go to hell.
I feel offended when people implied openly that my husband and I failed to make the boy communicate properly with others with eye contact, especially after I explained the whole story to them. Who are you to imply such a thing when you are not quite a parent yourself? Do you have any kids that’s my son’s age? Did you take care of your kids yourself or you just sub the job to other-say, your in laws, babysitters, nannies? Did you or did you not participate in parenting or just let your wife do all the dirty work?
I’m a fighter, always have been, and if you insult me or any member of my family, don’t you dare expect me to sit there and smile and say nothing. I’m not a timid mouse who will not speak for myself, or for my family if the situation calls for it.
Anyway, in the end, my attempt to educate ignorant people has gone awry, as the group of gossiping men seems to think that the boy behaves that way because of my poor parenting skill even after extensive explaining on my part. *snort* Fine, then. I hope they somehow ended up with a special child or two too. Perhaps then they would understand what I was talking about.
My son’s social skill is horrible, that is a fact. But I think mine is much more worst than his, for I’m allergic to cocky, boastful and ignorant people who does not listen to what others have to say. So yea… even if they are my husband’s acquaintance… I’m gonna avoid them like a plague.
Cleffairy: It takes a lot to finally believe that not everything is my fault though a lot of people in my life attempts to make me feel that way. It takes a lot of encouragement and assurance from Mamarazzi, Claire, Ling, Cyn and STP’s to make me feel that it is okay that I have a special child. They made me believe that God gave him to me because He knows that I am capable of handling such a child. How in the world I can thank them for all these kind assurance, is beyond me for not everyone is like them. I thank God everyday for having them in my life, for they may not realize it, but they did make a lot of difference in my life, and also my son’s life.
Maybe, it will be fun to see the world from a different angle. You see, ever since 2010 ended, I’ve been doing awful lot of thinking and loads of trips down the memory lane. While the year 2010 was quite a blast and was one of my happier and more fulfilling year than the ones before, it does have some… what do you call it… upsetting things that I could not get out of my mind. Things I wish I could forget but most probably will remember for the rest of my life.
Things that I couldn’t really confide in others because it’s bitter to the point that I am not sure if people would understand unless they were placed in the same position I was. Oh, well, I’m certain that some would understand, after all… I don’t doubt that there were many other women who were placed in the same position I was, by choice or by sheer, damnable circumstances.
There are things I wonder…you see… I feel somewhat detached… you know… crazy author kinda thingie. I just finished my 2010 novel, and I feel ridiculously empty and overwhelmed…VERY OVERWHELMED… I missed my characters and stuff, I sorta feel like an empty nest syndrome here but at the same time, I feel so worn out and exhausted and therefore, I decided to take a little break from writing until 14th January 2011.I kinda thought that a little break from writing would do me good.
But I am not quite sure if it’s a good thing or not… trying to be lay back abit is kinda hard… cuz when I don’t really get myself occupied, I started to thing about things… weird things…like… how is it like to be the other woman… or having an affair…or about… second chances… you know, that sort of things.
I don’t know what’s going on with me… really, I don’t. Mid- age crisis? I am not sure… I am not even a middle ager! Perhaps the not writing thing makes my head goes looney. Or maybe, I just plainly wonder how it feels like… after all, men do it all the time, no matter from what age or era they come from. They cheat on their wife and go to their pretty mistress with perfume behind their knees all the time, and I kinda wonder… wonder how it feels like to be in such women’s position.
It must be fun huh? Doing hanky panky things behind your spouse’s back… taking phonecalls and being sending secretive smses when your other half is not watching… or rejecting phone calls and lying to your spouse’s face saying it’s a wrong number or even telling them that it’s nothing… it’s just spam. It must be fun sneaking out and leave your spouse to deal with dirty diaper of messy feeding time too.
It must be really fun… being the other woman too… you see…you can wear like a tart and get complimented by it, and you don’t have to clean up after the guy or cook for him or deal with the nasty, shrewed, mother in law.
It’s part of the package of being a girlfriend to a married man or a mistress to a married man. Being a kept woman is nice, I guess, and I suppose everyone loves to be appreciated. It’s even nicer that we get to spend men’s money and he won’t complain about it being expensive or over budget too.
I guess that is why some women goes after married man and place a ‘single, but having an affair with a married man’ label on their forehead. It’s nice. All you need to do is inspire the man to have sex with you… have fun with him… listen to him and not nag(cuz you don’t actually have to, you don’t have to give a damn since you’re not exactly living 24/7 with him)…and you don’t have to clean or actually look after him cuz it works differently when you’re a mistress or a kept woman.
*sigh* maybe it will be fun exploring such world…so I think… this year… I’m going to get out of my comfort zone abit and write about such men and women instead of the fairy-tale like stories where men are handsome and rich and impossibly faithful and loving spouse, because the truth is…there is no such things.
Things get really, really boring at some point and men started to take their wives for granted after two or three years of marriage. And things gets even more worst and mundane with the arrival of those red, wriggly things that requires a lot of house-training. Yes… reality is… marriage equals to mundane and boring after some point, and many people wonders what it’s like to have an affair. Men wonders and look for an affair most of the time… they have an affair most of the time… and I kinda wonder how it would be like to be the other woman instead of you know…the victim of an affair.
Affairs… might be messy, but they might give you some sweet feelings and stuff… so yeah… 2011 is gonna be quite an adventure for me, cuz I’m stepping out of the box and write about such women instead of the disgustingly romantic men that does not, and will never exist. Okay… this year… I’ll be writing about “Bitching 101”
Anyway… not that I’m encouraging extra-marital affairs, but my advice to single men who wants to seduce married women into an affair: Never ever say your mother is an angel… or how you adore your mother… that’s a complete turn off, trust me… such things… such respect and such admiration towards your mother, just works on single, naive women not on an already married woman. And another thing…unless you’re prepared to learn how to cook instead of eating out and clean up after yourself…don’t ever think of seducing a married woman.
Cleffairy: Having responsibility and playing house is not part of the deal when you have an affair with a married woman or married man for that matter.It’s a huge turn off and disgusting. Having an affair is all about NSA, is it not?
It’s been 4 years since jie last saw you in Henesys Hunting Ground, hitting snails with a snowboard while making silly faces. You were just a teenage boy then. How time flies. It’s 2010 going on 2011. A lot of things has changed, but you’ll still be the only one who will die at Balrog with jie and the one who will leech jie at Skelly =.=
Balrog with it’s dreadful claws… *faint*
You’ll still be the one who will play cheat with jie and protect jie from the awful big dragon… what’s it’s name? Uhh… eeeee… Manon… and damn Griffey.
Manon…. (the damn stupid dragon that killed me countless times.)
The dumb Griffey… killed jie til jie wanna cry! *SOBS*
Horntail (Bwhahahaha… remember how we pawned the damn Horntail at Orbis? Wuikss… Orbis? How come we can kill Horntail at Orbis? Horntail supposed to be in Leafre. LMAO!)
Yes, indeed, years has passed since we last play together… and die together… but you’ll always be jie’s protector… jie’s warrior… and jie will always remember you as the one who always says goodnight to jie.
Happy birthday, Seng. God bless you always, no matter where you are… at land or at sea. 😀
Lotsa love,
xoxoxoxox
Your jie, Cleffairy.
Ps: Seng, let’s go and die together again? It’ll be fun. Let’s do the new Balrog! Bwhahahahahahaahaha!!! Jie wanna kick the new Balrog’s ass!!! Don’t worry… it won’t hurt much… jie promise not to forget to heal you. And if you die before jie, jie will try to resurrect you before jie die. 😛 LMAO!
Last month, my dad gave me a surprise visit. He was having a meeting somewhere in town and he dropped by and took me to a posh Thai Cuisine Restaurant to eat. He was actually craving for my Tomyam, he said I make the best Tomyam ever, better than my grandfather’s Tomyam, much to my mum’s chagrin.
My mum have been trying to imitate my Tomyam but couldn’t seems to get it right and she gets pretty annoyed with my dad each time he compared our Tomyams. I find my dad’s preference hard to believe, though. I’ve always thought my grandfather’s Tomyam is still the best. 😀 Nothing beats my grandfather’s authentic Siamese Tomyam!
Anyway, my dad brought me to this restaurant called Flying Chillies, The Gardens, Midvalley. I have a lot of things to say about this restaurant. No… not a bad review, but a very good one. A 5 star review, in fact.
The service is really good and the staff are really friendly. They move as quick as lightning and served within 10 minutes despite the peak hour.
Flying Chillies Restaurant, 3rd Floor, The Gardens, Midvalley.
Very nice and intimate surroundings.
They were having this special promotion for Golden Tomyam Siakap, but we didn’t order that. Instead, we ordered these:
Spicy Seafood Tomyam for 2. I’ve requested it to be less spicy, cuz I know that in these Thai restaurant, their Tomyam are really really spicy. The Tomyam was still very spicy, but bearable. It’s sourish like what Tomyam is supposed to be, so I guess this Tomyam is up to my liking. It was generous with seafood too. Loads of huge King prawns, squids and flower crabs in it.
My dad ordered these for me. *grinz* he knows me best. It’s my favourite tempura calamari. Goes very well with their special Thai sauce dip.
Flying Chillies’ shrimp omelet. Initially I thought it’ll be one of those ordinary omelet, but it turned out it taste very nice. The omelet was laden with sweet shrimps and and shredded carrots. Very yummy.
And the main star of the meal: Fried fish.
Dad wanted fish. I wanted mango salad. So we compromised. We ordered this fried fish topped with mango salad. 😀 I don’t quite fancy fishes, you see. I hate the bones. But to my surprise… this fried ‘siakap’ is boneless. The chef had de-boned it at my dad’s request. Dad must be scared that I’ll choke myself silly while helping him to eat the fish.
Since it was boneless, I gobbled it up without any complains. I love the mango salad, it’s to die for. Very fresh and crunchy with the right amount of ‘nampla’ (fish-sauce), sweetened fried anchovies as well as dried shrimps. There’s also fried peanuts in it.
My dad tend to go overboard when he order food or drinks for me. I was busy snapping pictures, and when I went back to the table… he ordered 3 drinks for both of us to share. All of it are my favourite. *FAINT* Orange juice, iced lemon tea and Coke.
Total damage to daddy’s pocket: Rm165.00. Very expensive, but the service and the food is great. We were never ignored and the food came to our table in less than 15 minutes.
Dessert was sourish lemon ice cream. No picture, though, cuz I forgot to take a photo of it. 😀
Wanna try this place out? Here’s the address:
Flying Chillies,
T219, Third Floor, The Gardens, Mid Valley City, Kuala Lumpur.
Tel: 03-2287-7708 Fax: 03-2287-7710
Cleffairy: Next time I wanna eat at Tony Roma, Daddy! Let’s go eat the rib rack! Mwhahahaha!
One of the most difficult parts of recovering from infidelity is talking about the affair itself. Some affair victims are absolutely convinced that they have to talk about the affair before they can heal and move on. But this may not work well for everyone. To some people, talking about the affair is extremely important, while to others it is not such a big detail. To talk or not to talk about the affair is entirely up to you.
With that said, here are a few guidelines to make this process a little less rocky for you.
It’s the injured spouse’s decision whether to discuss the affair or not
In discussions about the affair, the injured spouse should be the one to initiate as well as to control the flow of any conversations about the affair. While you want to get the information you need to move past the pain, you also want to avoid any unnecessary pain now, so decide what level of detail you are comfortable with and don’t be afraid to stop the conversation when you start to feel overwhelmed. Since this is your chance to fill in the missing pieces, keep the conversation focused on you.
Complete honesty from the cheating spouse
During these delicate conversations, the cheater should be completely honest with the information he gives his spouse and should also freely reveal whatever is asked while being sensitive to information that is going to be particularly painful to his spouse. If the cheating spouse is not 100 percent honest with his answers, this will only contribute to the overall atmosphere of distrust that is already in the marriage.
It’s best to take in the information slowly
While you may want to know everything about the affair all at once, this is would not be the best course of action for you to take. You should take your time getting the information you need and resist the urge to rush through the process. Doing so is only going to emotionally overload you and make you feel frustrated, and angry.
Healing after an affair takes time and having conversations about the affair itself is a major part of the healing process. So you should take as much time as you need to work through these issues. Realize also that this type of conversation is often an emotionally painful experience, so only you can decide if talking about the affair is worth the effort. The good news is that couples who make it through these harrowing conversations about the affair, often have the strength and courage needed to work on recovering from infidelity and healing their marriages.
Cleffairy: Stick and stones may break my bones…but physical pain is much more bearable than emotional anguish.
Then she got extremely hot tempered because she felt violated and harassed in Rose Cottage Skudai. She was practically boiling and she looked like volcano waiting to erupt it’s lava for many days. She’s so hot that she sizzled and her mood was mercurial.
That is not good. Papa was really scared… because she was saying something about getting a Rottweiler or a Doberman to guard her everywhere she go or something about suing people til they gone bankrupt.
Mummy keep mentioning that she loathe October… so many bad things usually happens in October, and was mumbling something about killing people slow and bloody in her novel again. Tsk tsk tsk!
Mummy may be small sized and looked like a school girl… but she can be a real hellcat and a skinny Hulk… never, ever offend my mummy… people say… my Mummy is actually a mad, raving lunatic fairy. I don’t know what that means… but Papa said that it’s something about being very angry and muttering a lot of nasty expletives for days and nights!
So to sooth Mummy’s anger, Papa brought us on a little trip, and this time, Papa and Mummy brought me along, saying that our family is going to go for a little adventure… Papa says, bring Mummy and big brother go for backpacking, because Mummy likes to go on adventure and she loves backpacking! You see… my Mummy likes to play Indiana Jones… you know… the one with hat and whip? Mummy have them too… the Fedora hat, that is… she yet to get her hands on a bull-whip, though…
See the picture above? Well that’s me, Meow Meow. I was inside my carrier in the car. I was a really good girl. Unlike many cats… Mummy says I’m really special cuz I love to stick with Papa and Mummy and prefers to travel instead of staying in cat hotels! I didn’t even make noise when we’re traveling. Hehehehe! And I am very smart too… I only do my big and small business in toilets! 😀
When we go out to sight-seeing, Papa and Mummy will carry me in my special bag… 😀 It’s called the pet carrier bag. Suitable for cats and toy breed dogs! Actually I prefer to stay in the bag more when we’re traveling, because I can see the view through the ‘windows’ on my bag.
But sometimes,Papa and Mummy would insist that I walk together with them. But I am abit scared when we go travel to strange places…so if Papa and Mummy don’t put a leash on me and make sure I’m safe and always with them… I will hide inside the bag and refuse to come out! 😀
So… wanna know where we went backpacking to? Stay tune… my Mummy will be back soon, and tell you where we went. She’ll also be sharing tips on how to travel with pets. Stay tune, okay? 😀
Have I ever told you my love story? The story of first love, the story of sweet nothings and romance? Have I told you the story of the prince outside of my window with a stalk of Champagne rose? How about the man who held my hand while riding a motorcycle? Or the one who wrote his name with a firework stick? Or maybe, the man who learned to swim and ride horse because of me?
I guess I haven’t. LOL. And I’m not sure if I will, because there are things that I don’t tell and keep to myself.
But I surely appreciate it that my sweetheart brought me to this place, and I hope that in the future, there would be more. Hahahahaha!
Actually, I’m pretty easy to please… indulge me with the simple pleasure in life…a few moments of peace to reflect and protect me from the Gorgons who can’t wait to devour me out there, and you’ll be making me the happiest woman on Earth. 😀
My husband is quite a traditional person while I do almost everything to defy tradition. A few days ago, recalling that the midautumn festival is near, my husband began to crave for mooncakes while I couldn’t really be bothered about it. But being meciful and taking pity on the poor soul, we went out for a mooncake hunt. And we brought back this. It costs us Rm 2.50. And I was rather amused…
Because in the semi darkness of the night, these looks like some Mickey Mouse mooncakes… and the cake seller told us that these are Mickey Mouse shaped mooncakes, but when we brought them home… it happens that they are not mooncakes, but Mickey Mouse sponge cakes with the colourings of mooncake skin, filled with melted chocolates. LOL.
Poor husband… LOL…and lucky me. He was looking for mooncakes, but got chocolate filled sponge cakes instead. But I can’t say I pity him that much, because he enjoyed the cakes nevertheless, because he’s a huge fan of chocolate melting in his mouth.
What’s the lesson of the story, folks? The lesson here is that one ought to learn to live with the fact that we cannot always have what our heart desire, and sometimes, the best things in life are surprises and mistakes, and as long as we learn to take the world as it is instead of how we want it to be, we’ll be contented and happy. 😀 Ponder on that, and here’s wishing all Malaysians out there a very Happy Midautumn festival, and wish the love that you had for your loved ones last forever.
Here’s dedicating 但愿人长久 (Wishing us to last forever) to all of you out there.
I made 3 phone calls today. One to my aunt, one to my mother, and another to my father. 2 of the phone calls made me feel so horrible, causing me to make another phone call. 🙁 Guess whom was the last one I called just to make myself feel better again? *sigh*
Yes, that’s right. The last phone call was to my father. Why? Cuz both my aunt and my mum kinda make me feel bad inside to the point that I feel like I wanna throw up!
I feel like crying. I wanted to cry, but I won’t let myself. I won’t allow myself to be wallowed by self pity and self-disgust…. especially when my bloody other half is being nonchalant about this freaking issue. Maybe I should just take up shooting and shoot something to vent my frustration. 🙁 I feel so trapped and abused. Yes, that’s right. Abused. And also used… and also unappreciated… and the list goes on!
To cut the long story short… I made a phone call to my aunt, who is just 1 year older than me, to congratulate her on being pregnant. Then all the bloody nonsense when I’m going to have a baby and blah blah blah started. I was really happy, truly, that she’s being pregnant and all… but does she have to ask me a lot of personal questions that I don’t feel like answering?
*sigh* I avoided her question like a plague, and and made a promise that I don’t really tend to keep, which is to… uh… visit her when she finally give birth… cuz I kinda hate being around relatives who loves to get on my nerves by asking me personal questions and those showing off and stuff.
You see… I’m not really successful in life, and I wonder if I ever will be. I am not rich, and I don’t exactly reproduce like some sort of a pig either… so yeah… you get the picture, why I don’t like to be around relatives. They simply poke their noses in places that they’re not supposed to.
After successfully ending the conversation with my oblivious Aunt, I called my mother, whom I haven’t talk to for quite some time now. You know… call her just to ask if she’s all right and whatnot. BIG MISTAKE.
Of course she’s all right. She’s always all right. She almost NEVER fall sick. 🙁 Not that I’m saying I wish that she gets sick… I’m just saying that sometimes, I feel really uncomfortable talking to her, because she likes to… uh… gossip, and… like those people in my life… she loves to… compare me with others, even when I’m all grown up. I can’t relate to her, and she doesn’t understand me. She loves to socialize with relatives, much to my chagrin.
She loves going to the weddings, baby showers and funeral( Good Lord… I don’t know if anybody can enjoy a funeral, but obviously, my mother can). Fine. She likes family occasion. That is none of my business. But I don’t feel comfortable at all when she tells me how big their weddings are, and how wonderful their baby showers are…she always says them in a tone that’s hinting me something, and I loathe it so, so much.
Why can’t she just let me off, and leave me alone? I am not interested in joining her and make a court jester out of myself at these family occasions.
I never failed to feel bad each time my mother talked to me about those stuff. Talking… is still tolerable… why can’t she understand that I have no interest in taking part in those things that she’s so fond of? 🙁
I’m not interested to go to relatives’ wedding. I don’t want to go to relatives’ baby showers… and I don’t want to go to funeral too. Why? Because people just won’t mind their own business and ask ME personal question that I considered as invasion of privacy!
It is sooooooooo difficult. No offense… but I kinda hate female relatives and outlaws who are in their 50s. I can’t relate to them, and they’re pretty…what’s the word? OBNOXIOUS.
I felt sooo sooo bad, and knowing that my husband would brush me off when I talk about these stuff…you know… relatives’ wedding, baby showers and whatnot…my husband is never interested in listening to such things and so I called up THE ONLY PERSON who WILL ALWAYS listened to me, regardless of how silly I may sound- MY FATHER.
I called him up, and he was still at work. He told me that he was in front of the PC, finishing up some work, and so I told him that I will call back later when he’s not busy, but thank God he said that it’s all right and refused to let me hang up.
He asked me if I’m all right. And of course…I kinda lied him. I told him I’m fine, just a bit stressed about work and whatnot. The usual. He must be sensing that I’m upset… cuz he asked if I’m feeling well. So I told him… I don’t know if I’m feeling well… I’m feeling feverish… must be the weather and I just call to hear his voice and to ask if he’s doing okay.
But my father knew me very well and bombed me. “Did you happen to call your mother?” he asked.
I broke down at this point. I said yes, and I blahs to him, telling him that my mother had been at it again, asking me to go to places I don’t want to and telling me who and who is getting married, and who and who is having baby showers, and who and who is so pretty and practically glowing… and also about so and so who is just promoted and whatnot.
I told him I don’t want to go back to those family occasions… because I feel that no matter how successful I am in life… people would still judge me on how well-married I am and how many pooping and wailing brats I have~! And people are more interested in how many times I get laid a week more than what I’ve worked so hard to build! It sickens me to the very core. 🙁
While other people in my life would have probably reprimand me for being so reserved and refused to socialize with gossiping bimbos at this point, my father didn’t accuse me of that. He listened sympathetically and told me that he didn’t fancy family occasion too, and if I don’t want to, I don’t have to go back and face those people who doesn’t mind their own business.
I told him that I missed him. And the only reason why I wanted to go back for the holidays is just because I wanted to see him. 🙁 Even if people around me hurt me badly and made me feel inferior with their words, I still want to see him and have a good time together. I missed talking to him, I missed being understood and I especially missed being taken seriously.
I heard clicks of the keyboard at this point. And after a few seconds… my father told me…that perhaps, he could make some arrangements and come to visit me instead… he didn’t promise me… he said he would try to make arrangements to visit me instead.
And you know what? That alone makes me feel a lot better, even if he can’t manage to come and visit me during the holidays. Those words… those words alone made me feel loved, protected and and cherished. Those words made me feel important too. And… for now, those are enough for me. Even if he can’t manage to come and visit me… I feel better already… with just his words…my father… he made me feel better… by just listening and assuring me that he loves me regardless of how people think of me.
Cleffairy: Breathing is difficult, especially when people are trying their best to suffocate you. And here’s ‘How Can You Mend a Broken Heart’ by Bee Gees.
How Can You Mend A Broken Heart
I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.
I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories do days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, noone said a word about the sorrow.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.
