Merry XMas

Here’s wishing all Over A Cuppa Tea readers a Merry Xmas and happy holidays with family and loved ones.

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Oops, my apologies on the picture above. I’ve always mistook Xmas for Holloween. Even though Xmas have always been my favourite time of the year, seeing people are more generous and cheerful, however, the horrors of Xmas never seems to ease from my mind ever since I was a little girl.

As much as I loved the festive season and good tidings around, there are things about Christmas that scares me and displeases me. Want to know more about my fears, dear readers? Read on, but be forewarned though, as by the time you finished reading, you’ll probably think I’m a freak, or maybe related to Ebenezer Scrooge or Mr. Grinch-

  • Since I was five years old, I fear Santa Clause as much as I fear the clown. They freak me out, literally. I hate the thought of some strangers coming into my bedroom. When I was a little girl, refused to sleep on Xmas Eve and I stayed awake til after midnight so that I can scream my head off when Santa comes into my room. I used to think that Santa Clause are some sort of Satan that will lure me with presents and toss me into his gunny sack before taking me away from my parents. Hence, I nicknamed Santa Clause as Satan Claws.
  • When I was in kindergarten, I thought the flying reindeer were some sort of weird dog mutants or some alien from outer space. The image of flying reindeer scares me.
  • Then when I was 6 years old, I found out that Santa are actually fake, because my kindergarten teacher, who’s a middle age black woman, dressed up in a Santa suit, complete with beard and all, gives out presents to the kindergarten kids. Since then, I knew Santa was fake and I started to labeled adults as liars, including my own parents for telling me that Santa Clause are real.
  • Xmas always makes my tummy ache. Xmas is actually the mother of all festival horror, cuz the food could really make my digestive system work overtime.
  • I’m scared of turkey. They are too big, and like Santa’s reindeer, I used to think that they are mutant chicken.
  • I thought that elf are little people who will bite me and pull out my teeth when I was asleep.
  • I always thought the Xmas tree was so huge that it could come down crashing on me and squash me to death or worst, electrocute me!

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  • I grew up, and found out that I had wild imaginations, but that did not stop me from having fears towards Santa, as I keep imagining that a strange man will break into my house in Santa suit during the night before Xmas and steal my belongings or worst, murder me or rape me. What else could a strange man do when they enter one’s house during festive season while everyone are sleeping, anyway? They do the naughty, the bad and the evil things, of course.
  • There are many drunkards during festive season, especially Xmas. Living in a condo, I’m not spared from seeing drunkards who just came back from their clubbing or drinking session on Xmas Eve. They disrupt my sleep with their loud and inconsiderate noises and completely disgust me.
  • There are many assholes out there are on prowl during Xmas and they’re waiting for a chance to spike those ignorant girl’s drink and make her have sex with them. Worst, their acts could have been recorded and they will be blackmailed!
  • I kept thinking on how many girls lost their virginity without their consent on Xmas Eve.
  • I felt that sometimes Xmas are too commercialize that it’s now all about presents and gifts and no longer about spending time with family and loved ones.
  • It scares me to think that some people are surrounded with debts as they tend to shop more during festive season like Xmas.
  • It upset me that children these days do not know what is the real meaning of Xmas as they are only given toys and presents during Xmas.
  • I felt bad celebrating as there are many orphans who celebrate Xmas in orphanage and not much people are giving a thought about them. They must have felt inferior to those kids who were lucky enough to get presents on Xmas.
  • I feel sorry for the doctors and nurses in the ER, as during Xmas, there will also be a lot of accidents as a result of drunk driving.
  • I hate the fact that the mat rempit will go on rampage during Xmas too. ( I almost accident because of one, as one of em threw the Santa hat onto the road!)
  • I hate the fact that the mall are making a lot of money just by luring people by putting up a Xmas sale.

If I were to write why I’m horrified by Xmas, I might as well write a book about it, but before the readers call the asylum for my paranoid thinking, I’d like to assure you that I do love some part of Xmas and they are as listed below:

  • When I was a little girl, I used to go caroling door to door with boys and girls my age. I really missed going caroling when I came back to Malaysia.
  • I love the fact that my mom and dad would spend more time with me and my lil sister on Xmas eve and Xmas, and never failed to cook good food for us to eat.
  • I love the family gathering.
  • When I was a little girl, I absolutely adore the time when I were told Xmas stories before going to bed.
  • I like the good tidings and seasons greetings from people around, and those who are celebrating Xmas are easier to deal with. They make me smile with their cheerfulness.
  • I absolutely love the fact that my loved ones will be at home and nowhere else during Xmas season, so I’m all warm and happy inside.
  • Being an adult,one of the things that I love about Xmas is not really the food or shopping, but the tradition that I made up for Xmas, which is to watch While You Were Sleeping and read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens on Xmas Eve while cuddling with my other half before going to bed. This is what I love most about Xmas

And so, before you guys scream at me for putting up the horrible pictures, below is the REAL Xmas message to all of you from me. LOL. Merry Xmas and enjoy the holiday with your family and loved ones.

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And below, is a message for my loved ones…you know who you are, I don’t need to mention here, do I?

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Cleffairy: Xmas is the time for family, joy and cheer. Please be safe this Xmas. Make sure you take all precautions to make your home as safe as possible from thief, don’t drink and drive, and last but not least, do not take drinks from strangers if you’re to celebrate it in a pub with your peers.

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Female Condoms- Femdoms/Femcond/FC

Disclaimer: This entry is rated NC-17, and intended strictly for educational purposes.You may find the content of this entry offensive. Read at your own risk.

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It’s still AIDS Awareness Month, and this would be the third time I write something that is related to the subject. While some of you may find this article rather disturbing because of the contents, I strongly feel that this is rather important, as most women all around the world are infected with HIV virus simply because they had unprotected sex with their partner. Let’s take note that most women wanted to be protected.

Women want their man to use condom while having sexual intercourse for various reason- they want to avoid unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, and not to mention that they want to be protected against STD and the mother of all STD horror, HIV infections. However, not all women are lucky to be protected by men, because sometimes men are such blokes who simply refused to wear a condom during sexual intercourse. Some men would give up their arms not to wear condom during their sexual intercourse. They give lame excuse not to wear one. Among the famous excuses are:

  • I don’t know how to use one.
  • It’s too expensive.
  • Wouldn’t it be a waste? Wear and throw…
  • I’m ashamed to go and buy one.
  • No feelings when use the condom during sexual intercourse.
  • It turns me off.
  • It makes my dick itch.
  • I’m your husband! Why should I wear one? Foolish woman!

So when a young blogger friend of mine, Arc asked me if there’s such thing as a femdom, I had to laugh at his lack of knowledge. But after a moment, I stopped laughing, and felt as if I’ve been hit by a huge truck. I realized, that this is not a laughing matter. Arc is probably not the only man around who doesn’t know what is femdom, or female condom is. Hell, a lot of people do not know that female condoms even exists. And I was aghast to suddenly realized that it’s not only the men who are not aware of it’s existence, but women of all age, races and religion probably do not know that female condom even exists, because it’s not as commercialized as the regular condoms that is meant for men’s usage during sexual intercourse.

So, as a woman, I feel obligated to write about female condoms. At least, as a woman, I did a small part to inform other women that they can actually protect themselves during sexual intercourse if their man refused to use protection. With female condoms, it’s not just up to the man to protect the women in questions, but the women can now protect themselves with such device.

For those who is not familiar with female condom, female condoms are actually a sheath or pouch about 17 cm in length. At each end there is a flexible ring. At the closed end of the sheath, the flexible ring is inserted into the vagina to hold the female condom in place. At the other open end of the sheath, the ring stays outside the vulva at the entrance to the vagina. This ring acts as a guide during penetration and it also stops the sheath bunching up inside the vagina.

For those who do not know how a female condom looks like, it looks like the pictures below:

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It looks like a regular male condom, isn’t it? These devices have been available in Europe since 1992 and was approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1993. It is available in many countries, at least in limited quantities, throughout the world. In Malaysia, it’s available discretely in leading pharmacies. All you have to do it request to buy it, or if it’s not available, you can order beforehand before making your purchase.Women should practice putting it in and removing the condom correctly before using it it for first time during sexual intercourse. Some women may feel uncomfortable using for the first few times. Research indicate that most women may need to use female condoms at least 2-3 times before feeling completely at ease using the device.

Women who are new to female condoms should try to insert the device several times, and each time with the body in a different position- lying down, crouching, sitting or even with one leg up to find the most comfortable position she’s comfortable with to insert the device into her vagina.

It is important to note that the penis should be guided into the centre of female condom and not between the vaginal wall and the outer side of Female Condom.

I will demonstrate how to use a female condom in later part of my article. If the penis does not enter correctly, the man should withdraw his penis and the couple should start over.

Actually, female condoms comes with pre-lubricated with a silicone-based, non-spermicidal lubricant. This lubrication helps assist in the insertion of the device and allows easy movement during intercourse. The lubricant may make female condoms little slippery or oily at first. If the outer ring of female condom gets pushed in or pulled out of the vagina, more lubricant may be needed. Also, if female condom makes noise during sex, simply add more lubricant. Female condom can be used with both water-based and oil-based lubricants, whereas male latex condoms should only be used with water-based lubricants.

Like the male condoms, female condoms are meant to be a one time usage protection device. WHO recommends use of a new male or female condom for every act of intercourse, where there is a risk of unintended pregnancy and/or STI/HIV infection.

Recognizing the urgent need for risk-reduction strategies for women who cannot or do not access new condoms, WHO has developed a draft protocol for the safe handling and preparation of used Female condoms intended for re-use.

WHO does not recommend or promote re-use, but will make available the protocol, together with guidelines on programmatic issues, to programme managers who intend to evaluate its feasibility and application in local settings. WHO’s Information Update on re-use is available on-line. Google it.
Some men and women may be an initial negative reaction to female condoms, because of its size, and the way it looks but this feeling diminishes with use. It is useful to compare female condoms to an unrolled male condom to highlight that female condoms is the same length but wider than the male condom.

Female condoms provides added protection because the base of the penis and the external female genitalia are partly covered during use. Female condoms have advantages. It have the diameter, and men can’t complain about the the female condoms constricting their penis the way the male condoms does.

Now, below is the diagram on how female condoms should be inserted into the vagina and how it should be used:

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First of all, open the package carefully by tearing the notch on the top right of the package. Do not use scissors or a knife to open, as it may damage the female condom in the package.

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The picture above shows the inner and outer ring of the female condom. The outer ring covers the area around the opening of the vagina. The inner ring is used for insertion and to help hold the sheath in place during intercourse.

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While holding the Female condom at the closed end, grasp the flexible inner ring and squeeze it with the thumb and second or middle finger so it becomes long and narrow.

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Choose a position that is comfortable for insertion – squatting, raising one leg, sitting or lying down. The condoms are usually properly lubricated for easy insertion.

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Gently insert the inner ring into the vagina. Feel the inner ring go up and move into place by using fingers.

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Place, the index finger on the inside of the condom, and push the inner ring up as far as it will go. Make sure the sheath is not twisted. The outer ring should remain on the outside of the vagina.

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When you’re confident that female condom is correctly in place, it’s ready to be used with your partner for sexual intercourse.

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When you are ready, carefully guide your partner’s penis into the condom’s opening with your hand to make sure that it enters properly. And make sure that the penis is not entering on the side, between the sheath and the vaginal wall.

Ladies and gentlemen, female condoms does not need to be removed immediately after a man’s ejaculation, like the male condom. But it should be taken out before the woman stands up to avoid the semen spilling out.

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To remove the female condom, twist the outer ring and gently pull the condom out. The outer ring should be twisted properly to seal the condom so that no semen comes out.

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To dispose, wrap the condom in the package or in tissue, and throw it in the rubbish bin. Do take note that female condoms are like male condoms, it’s not meant to be disposed and flushed down the toilet bowl.

To help you get a better picture on how to use the female condom, here’s a video on it. Click HERE to watch it.

Actually, there’s a lot of advantage of using female condoms. Firstly, if your bloke of a man refused to wear one, then you can use it, then the bloody guy have no excuse not to use protection. Despite of the chauvinistic stereotype thinking that men are supposed to protect women during sexual intercourse, women too have shared responsibility as far as sex is concern. Women are responsible to protect themselves and their partner too. Female condoms are very much like male condoms in functionality. It protects against STD and AIDS if used correctly.

Female condoms are made of polyurethane and nitrile, which are less likely to cause an allergic reaction than latex. These materials can be used with oil-based as well as water-based lubricants. No special storage requirements are needed because polyurethane and nitrile are not affected by changes in temperature and dampness. In addition, these materials are thin and conduct heat well, so sensation is preserved.

There’s another interesting fact about female condoms. It can be inserted into vagina up to 6-8 hours before sexual intercourse, so, women, yes, you can actually put it in your vagina before having sex. And men will have no excuse to say that the insertion process would turn him off of disrupt the mood.

WHO and UNAIDS are encouraging wider access to the female condom as a method of preventing both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Many governments and non-governmental organisations provide female condoms for free or at subsidised prices as part of their HIV prevention and family planning programmes. So, women, do not feel afraid to use female condom to protect yourself and your partner. Being safe during sexual intercourse is your rights, not a privilege.

Safe sex is important. There’s no compromise about it. And for those who have been following my blog long enough would know that I support safe sex and whatever that protect women in general. A couple of months ago, I did coverage for G0ssip event. Gossip is back now. It’ll be in Penang. Those who are interested to join the educational and fun event, can go to their site to check it out.

Go Away” the phrase used to symbolise a stop on domestic violence, a phrase that encourages the society to shun from violence by taking appropriate measures. “Go Safe” promotes safe sex, a practice that can prevent unwanted pregnancies and diseases. The “Go Celebrate” phrase is a celebration of life itself, a measure we so often forge.


Cleffairy: Better be safe than sorry, as prevention is always better than cure.

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Siblings Rivalry & Favouritisms

I come from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister unconditionally. Even though my parents have high expectation from both of us, they accepted our strong points and tolerate our weakness. They love both of us for who we are, and that is one thing that that no outsiders could deny. They love us, and they are not shameful of showing their affection to both of their daughters, even in public. Which is pretty rare for Asians. My sister and I do have to endure occasional bear hug from our mother in public and our father’s constant kiddy treats like ice cream and cookies during our family outings to this very day. While it’s a little embarrassing for both of us, we do appreciate the fact that no matter what happens, and no matter how old we grew up to be, we’ll always be our parent’s little girl. It is nice and comforting to know that.

My parents made sure that both of us felt their unconditional love for us. However, they do not treat me and my sister the same way, because they could never have, but that does not mean that my parents treated us unfairly, that’s merely because my sister and I are both two different individual. We may be alike in a lot of ways, but we’re also completely two different individual in other ways.

When my kid sister was just born, I felt that she took away my parents from me, because they pay her more attention to her than me, and she always gets me into trouble with my mom and dad with her constant reports and complain of my teasing and bullying. I used to think that my parents loved her more than me, but as I grew older, I realized that they loved us all the same, only in different ways, because my sister and are two different individuals and affection as well as attention should be given differently according to our personality. I assume, a lot of parents are like this too.

Anyway, enough about me and my sister. Let’s get back to the thing that I would like to send across today which is siblings rivalry and favoritism among immediate family members. Boring and lame topic, no? But I came from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister for who we are and accepted our flaws, no matter how bad and annoying it is, so when I came across families who loved and care for one child more than the others is rather awkward for me to see.

I could never get used to seeing a father or mother shoving one of his son in a corner and treated him like nothing more than a punching bag to release tension and stress, just because that child is just mediocre in everything while he dote on his other children as if they are his treasure.

I saw some element of favoritisms today in a restaurant that I patronized during lunch with my colleague where a father treated his son, which I assume, his second son rather unfairly in comparison to his eldest and his youngest children. The boy in question was having a bowl of rice with dishes in front of him. While the father filled up the elder brother and younger sister’s bowl with meats and veggie, this poor boy had none. The father  did not even attempt to put any dishes on this boy’s bowl and deliberately ignored him.

And so, I continued to watch the family of four with sadness and sympathy for the boy. The boy wore a hurt look on his face, but put up a cheerful front and reached out for the last piece of fried chicken with his chopsticks and placed it on his bowl, and was about to eat it when his elder brother, whom in my eyes is rather bratty and lack of manners, started to whine and told the father that the younger brother took his favourite dish, which is the chicken wings.

I was not prepared to see what happened next, and I would have curse the father all the way to hell if I did not hold my tongue in the presence of my colleague. Guess what the father did, my precious readers? He gave the second son a dirty look, and reached out for the piece of chicken in the younger son’s bowl by using a pair of chopsticks and placed it on the elder son’s bowl and told him to eat it.

The younger boy protested his father’s action, claiming that he took it first, but the father simply barked at him and told him to shut up instead of filling the younger boy’s bowl with other dishes as a compensation to his loss. What disgust me was not only how the father treated his children in such an unfair and undignified way, but also at the way he spoiled and pampered his elder son. Even if the elder son is his favourite kid, does this mean he could hurt his other son’s feelings that way?

I was completely stupefied to see that the elder brother ‘s reaction to all of these. He laughed at his younger brother’s predicament and wore this smug and satisfied smirk as he’s gotten what he wanted in the first place-which I suspect not only the chicken, but to see his younger brother being shouted at by their father.

Frankly speaking, if I was the mother of the elder boy, I would have slapped him across the face  or give him a piece of my mind for being such a glutton. What else could you do to instill manner in a spoil rotten child who have his bowl full of dishes and still want to take away a measly piece of chicken in his younger brother’s bowl? The boy needs to be taught some manners. But it’s not only manners that the elder boy lack. He also need to be taught on how he should conduct himself with his siblings and be a brother to them instead of only being his father’s pet.

I was practically fuming when I watched the little boy sighed, and in a defeated manner, he reached for some veggies and swallowed the food halfheartedly while watching his brother and sister devoured their food in enjoyment. I do not doubt that the food was tasteless on the younger boy’s tongue.

I was hit hard on the head then, to realize that this is probably a common scene in most families. What’s worst, what I saw today was probably only a little glimpse of what most children who are in raised in big families are forced to endure every single day during their growing up process.

They’re treated unfairly and was ignored all the time because their siblings overshadowed them in many ways and things are never easy for them. Whatever they do were not appreciated as in their parents’ eyes, and they are always useless, stupid, whiny, bratty and ungrateful. They’re always shoved in a small corner as their siblings were put in the spotlight. Sometimes, the parents do not even see the child’s achievement or helpfulness as their favourite are constantly bragging about their contribution and take credit for what their brother or sister has done.

The children who were ignored and lack of love grew up to have rebellious streak and lack respect and love for their parents. They grew up having bitter feelings towards their parents. And they are often misunderstood as the parents refuse to pay even slightest attention to them or spend time with them.

What’s worst, not much thing change when the children grows up. Some parents tend to dote on certain daughters or sons just because one earn more than the other, or one gives more monetary contribution than the other. In worst case scenario, these children’s achievement and success will also be compared with immediate family members of their age, like cousins, or even in laws, not only in private, but in public as well.

I could never stand seeing that, period. I condemned this kind of parents to hell. As a parent, how could you treat your children so differently and love one child and shower him or her with love and attention more than the other? The child that you claim to have flaws and useless is your flesh and blood. Why can’t you treat all of your children as if they are a part of  you instead of some stray puppy you’re forced to shelter in your home?

Cleffairy: Sometimes, just sometimes, I could understand why some children claim that whether their parent(s) are still alive or not makes no difference to them, and they wouldn’t even care if their parent(s) is claimed by Death the very next hour in their life.

Continue Reading

Siblings Rivalry & Favouritisms

I come from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister unconditionally. Even though my parents have high expectation from both of us, they accepted our strong points and tolerate our weakness. They love both of us for who we are, and that is one thing that that no outsiders could deny. They love us, and they are not shameful of showing their affection to both of their daughters, even in public. Which is pretty rare for Asians. My sister and I do have to endure occasional bear hug from our mother in public and our father’s constant kiddy treats like ice cream and cookies during our family outings to this very day. While it’s a little embarrassing for both of us, we do appreciate the fact that no matter what happens, and no matter how old we grew up to be, we’ll always be our parent’s little girl. It is nice and comforting to know that.

My parents made sure that both of us felt their unconditional love for us. However, they do not treat me and my sister the same way, because they could never have, but that does not mean that my parents treated us unfairly, that’s merely because my sister and I are both two different individual. We may be alike in a lot of ways, but we’re also completely two different individual in other ways.

When my kid sister was just born, I felt that she took away my parents from me, because they pay her more attention to her than me, and she always gets me into trouble with my mom and dad with her constant reports and complain of my teasing and bullying. I used to think that my parents loved her more than me, but as I grew older, I realized that they loved us all the same, only in different ways, because my sister and are two different individuals and affection as well as attention should be given differently according to our personality. I assume, a lot of parents are like this too.

Anyway, enough about me and my sister. Let’s get back to the thing that I would like to send across today which is siblings rivalry and favoritism among immediate family members. Boring and lame topic, no? But I came from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister for who we are and accepted our flaws, no matter how bad and annoying it is, so when I came across families who loved and care for one child more than the others is rather awkward for me to see.

I could never get used to seeing a father or mother shoving one of his son in a corner and treated him like nothing more than a punching bag to release tension and stress, just because that child is just mediocre in everything while he dote on his other children as if they are his treasure.

I saw some element of favoritisms today in a restaurant that I patronized during lunch with my colleague where a father treated his son, which I assume, his second son rather unfairly in comparison to his eldest and his youngest children. The boy in question was having a bowl of rice with dishes in front of him. While the father filled up the elder brother and younger sister’s bowl with meats and veggie, this poor boy had none. The father  did not even attempt to put any dishes on this boy’s bowl and deliberately ignored him.

And so, I continued to watch the family of four with sadness and sympathy for the boy. The boy wore a hurt look on his face, but put up a cheerful front and reached out for the last piece of fried chicken with his chopsticks and placed it on his bowl, and was about to eat it when his elder brother, whom in my eyes is rather bratty and lack of manners, started to whine and told the father that the younger brother took his favourite dish, which is the chicken wings.

I was not prepared to see what happened next, and I would have curse the father all the way to hell if I did not hold my tongue in the presence of my colleague. Guess what the father did, my precious readers? He gave the second son a dirty look, and reached out for the piece of chicken in the younger son’s bowl by using a pair of chopsticks and placed it on the elder son’s bowl and told him to eat it.

The younger boy protested his father’s action, claiming that he took it first, but the father simply barked at him and told him to shut up instead of filling the younger boy’s bowl with other dishes as a compensation to his loss. What disgust me was not only how the father treated his children in such an unfair and undignified way, but also at the way he spoiled and pampered his elder son. Even if the elder son is his favourite kid, does this mean he could hurt his other son’s feelings that way?

I was completely stupefied to see that the elder brother ‘s reaction to all of these. He laughed at his younger brother’s predicament and wore this smug and satisfied smirk as he’s gotten what he wanted in the first place-which I suspect not only the chicken, but to see his younger brother being shouted at by their father.

Frankly speaking, if I was the mother of the elder boy, I would have slapped him across the face  or give him a piece of my mind for being such a glutton. What else could you do to instill manner in a spoil rotten child who have his bowl full of dishes and still want to take away a measly piece of chicken in his younger brother’s bowl? The boy needs to be taught some manners. But it’s not only manners that the elder boy lack. He also need to be taught on how he should conduct himself with his siblings and be a brother to them instead of only being his father’s pet.

I was practically fuming when I watched the little boy sighed, and in a defeated manner, he reached for some veggies and swallowed the food halfheartedly while watching his brother and sister devoured their food in enjoyment. I do not doubt that the food was tasteless on the younger boy’s tongue.

I was hit hard on the head then, to realize that this is probably a common scene in most families. What’s worst, what I saw today was probably only a little glimpse of what most children who are in raised in big families are forced to endure every single day during their growing up process.

They’re treated unfairly and was ignored all the time because their siblings overshadowed them in many ways and things are never easy for them. Whatever they do were not appreciated as in their parents’ eyes, and they are always useless, stupid, whiny, bratty and ungrateful. They’re always shoved in a small corner as their siblings were put in the spotlight. Sometimes, the parents do not even see the child’s achievement or helpfulness as their favourite are constantly bragging about their contribution and take credit for what their brother or sister has done.

The children who were ignored and lack of love grew up to have rebellious streak and lack respect and love for their parents. They grew up having bitter feelings towards their parents. And they are often misunderstood as the parents refuse to pay even slightest attention to them or spend time with them.

What’s worst, not much thing change when the children grows up. Some parents tend to dote on certain daughters or sons just because one earn more than the other, or one gives more monetary contribution than the other. In worst case scenario, these children’s achievement and success will also be compared with immediate family members of their age, like cousins, or even in laws, not only in private, but in public as well.

I could never stand seeing that, period. I condemned this kind of parents to hell. As a parent, how could you treat your children so differently and love one child and shower him or her with love and attention more than the other? The child that you claim to have flaws and useless is your flesh and blood. Why can’t you treat all of your children as if they are a part of  you instead of some stray puppy you’re forced to shelter in your home?

Cleffairy: Sometimes, just sometimes, I could understand why some children claim that whether their parent(s) are still alive or not makes no difference to them, and they wouldn’t even care if their parent(s) is claimed by Death the very next hour in their life.

Continue Reading

Siblings Rivalry & Favouritisms

I come from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister unconditionally. Even though my parents have high expectation from both of us, they accepted our strong points and tolerate our weakness. They love both of us for who we are, and that is one thing that that no outsiders could deny. They love us, and they are not shameful of showing their affection to both of their daughters, even in public. Which is pretty rare for Asians. My sister and I do have to endure occasional bear hug from our mother in public and our father’s constant kiddy treats like ice cream and cookies during our family outings to this very day. While it’s a little embarrassing for both of us, we do appreciate the fact that no matter what happens, and no matter how old we grew up to be, we’ll always be our parent’s little girl. It is nice and comforting to know that.

My parents made sure that both of us felt their unconditional love for us. However, they do not treat me and my sister the same way, because they could never have, but that does not mean that my parents treated us unfairly, that’s merely because my sister and I are both two different individual. We may be alike in a lot of ways, but we’re also completely two different individual in other ways.

When my kid sister was just born, I felt that she took away my parents from me, because they pay her more attention to her than me, and she always gets me into trouble with my mom and dad with her constant reports and complain of my teasing and bullying. I used to think that my parents loved her more than me, but as I grew older, I realized that they loved us all the same, only in different ways, because my sister and are two different individuals and affection as well as attention should be given differently according to our personality. I assume, a lot of parents are like this too.

Anyway, enough about me and my sister. Let’s get back to the thing that I would like to send across today which is siblings rivalry and favoritism among immediate family members. Boring and lame topic, no? But I came from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister for who we are and accepted our flaws, no matter how bad and annoying it is, so when I came across families who loved and care for one child more than the others is rather awkward for me to see.

I could never get used to seeing a father or mother shoving one of his son in a corner and treated him like nothing more than a punching bag to release tension and stress, just because that child is just mediocre in everything while he dote on his other children as if they are his treasure.

I saw some element of favoritisms today in a restaurant that I patronized during lunch with my colleague where a father treated his son, which I assume, his second son rather unfairly in comparison to his eldest and his youngest children. The boy in question was having a bowl of rice with dishes in front of him. While the father filled up the elder brother and younger sister’s bowl with meats and veggie, this poor boy had none. The father  did not even attempt to put any dishes on this boy’s bowl and deliberately ignored him.

And so, I continued to watch the family of four with sadness and sympathy for the boy. The boy wore a hurt look on his face, but put up a cheerful front and reached out for the last piece of fried chicken with his chopsticks and placed it on his bowl, and was about to eat it when his elder brother, whom in my eyes is rather bratty and lack of manners, started to whine and told the father that the younger brother took his favourite dish, which is the chicken wings.

I was not prepared to see what happened next, and I would have curse the father all the way to hell if I did not hold my tongue in the presence of my colleague. Guess what the father did, my precious readers? He gave the second son a dirty look, and reached out for the piece of chicken in the younger son’s bowl by using a pair of chopsticks and placed it on the elder son’s bowl and told him to eat it.

The younger boy protested his father’s action, claiming that he took it first, but the father simply barked at him and told him to shut up instead of filling the younger boy’s bowl with other dishes as a compensation to his loss. What disgust me was not only how the father treated his children in such an unfair and undignified way, but also at the way he spoiled and pampered his elder son. Even if the elder son is his favourite kid, does this mean he could hurt his other son’s feelings that way?

I was completely stupefied to see that the elder brother ‘s reaction to all of these. He laughed at his younger brother’s predicament and wore this smug and satisfied smirk as he’s gotten what he wanted in the first place-which I suspect not only the chicken, but to see his younger brother being shouted at by their father.

Frankly speaking, if I was the mother of the elder boy, I would have slapped him across the face  or give him a piece of my mind for being such a glutton. What else could you do to instill manner in a spoil rotten child who have his bowl full of dishes and still want to take away a measly piece of chicken in his younger brother’s bowl? The boy needs to be taught some manners. But it’s not only manners that the elder boy lack. He also need to be taught on how he should conduct himself with his siblings and be a brother to them instead of only being his father’s pet.

I was practically fuming when I watched the little boy sighed, and in a defeated manner, he reached for some veggies and swallowed the food halfheartedly while watching his brother and sister devoured their food in enjoyment. I do not doubt that the food was tasteless on the younger boy’s tongue.

I was hit hard on the head then, to realize that this is probably a common scene in most families. What’s worst, what I saw today was probably only a little glimpse of what most children who are in raised in big families are forced to endure every single day during their growing up process.

They’re treated unfairly and was ignored all the time because their siblings overshadowed them in many ways and things are never easy for them. Whatever they do were not appreciated as in their parents’ eyes, and they are always useless, stupid, whiny, bratty and ungrateful. They’re always shoved in a small corner as their siblings were put in the spotlight. Sometimes, the parents do not even see the child’s achievement or helpfulness as their favourite are constantly bragging about their contribution and take credit for what their brother or sister has done.

The children who were ignored and lack of love grew up to have rebellious streak and lack respect and love for their parents. They grew up having bitter feelings towards their parents. And they are often misunderstood as the parents refuse to pay even slightest attention to them or spend time with them.

What’s worst, not much thing change when the children grows up. Some parents tend to dote on certain daughters or sons just because one earn more than the other, or one gives more monetary contribution than the other. In worst case scenario, these children’s achievement and success will also be compared with immediate family members of their age, like cousins, or even in laws, not only in private, but in public as well.

I could never stand seeing that, period. I condemned this kind of parents to hell. As a parent, how could you treat your children so differently and love one child and shower him or her with love and attention more than the other? The child that you claim to have flaws and useless is your flesh and blood. Why can’t you treat all of your children as if they are a part of  you instead of some stray puppy you’re forced to shelter in your home?

Cleffairy: Sometimes, just sometimes, I could understand why some children claim that whether their parent(s) are still alive or not makes no difference to them, and they wouldn’t even care if their parent(s) is claimed by Death the very next hour in their life.

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Siblings Rivalry & Favouritisms

I come from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister unconditionally. Even though my parents have high expectation from both of us, they accepted our strong points and tolerate our weakness. They love both of us for who we are, and that is one thing that that no outsiders could deny. They love us, and they are not shameful of showing their affection to both of their daughters, even in public. Which is pretty rare for Asians. My sister and I do have to endure occasional bear hug from our mother in public and our father’s constant kiddy treats like ice cream and cookies during our family outings to this very day. While it’s a little embarrassing for both of us, we do appreciate the fact that no matter what happens, and no matter how old we grew up to be, we’ll always be our parent’s little girl. It is nice and comforting to know that.

My parents made sure that both of us felt their unconditional love for us. However, they do not treat me and my sister the same way, because they could never have, but that does not mean that my parents treated us unfairly, that’s merely because my sister and I are both two different individual. We may be alike in a lot of ways, but we’re also completely two different individual in other ways.

When my kid sister was just born, I felt that she took away my parents from me, because they pay her more attention to her than me, and she always gets me into trouble with my mom and dad with her constant reports and complain of my teasing and bullying. I used to think that my parents loved her more than me, but as I grew older, I realized that they loved us all the same, only in different ways, because my sister and are two different individuals and affection as well as attention should be given differently according to our personality. I assume, a lot of parents are like this too.

Anyway, enough about me and my sister. Let’s get back to the thing that I would like to send across today which is siblings rivalry and favoritism among immediate family members. Boring and lame topic, no? But I came from a family where my parents loves me and my younger sister for who we are and accepted our flaws, no matter how bad and annoying it is, so when I came across families who loved and care for one child more than the others is rather awkward for me to see.

I could never get used to seeing a father or mother shoving one of his son in a corner and treated him like nothing more than a punching bag to release tension and stress, just because that child is just mediocre in everything while he dote on his other children as if they are his treasure.

I saw some element of favoritisms today in a restaurant that I patronized during lunch with my colleague where a father treated his son, which I assume, his second son rather unfairly in comparison to his eldest and his youngest children. The boy in question was having a bowl of rice with dishes in front of him. While the father filled up the elder brother and younger sister’s bowl with meats and veggie, this poor boy had none. The father  did not even attempt to put any dishes on this boy’s bowl and deliberately ignored him.

And so, I continued to watch the family of four with sadness and sympathy for the boy. The boy wore a hurt look on his face, but put up a cheerful front and reached out for the last piece of fried chicken with his chopsticks and placed it on his bowl, and was about to eat it when his elder brother, whom in my eyes is rather bratty and lack of manners, started to whine and told the father that the younger brother took his favourite dish, which is the chicken wings.

I was not prepared to see what happened next, and I would have curse the father all the way to hell if I did not hold my tongue in the presence of my colleague. Guess what the father did, my precious readers? He gave the second son a dirty look, and reached out for the piece of chicken in the younger son’s bowl by using a pair of chopsticks and placed it on the elder son’s bowl and told him to eat it.

The younger boy protested his father’s action, claiming that he took it first, but the father simply barked at him and told him to shut up instead of filling the younger boy’s bowl with other dishes as a compensation to his loss. What disgust me was not only how the father treated his children in such an unfair and undignified way, but also at the way he spoiled and pampered his elder son. Even if the elder son is his favourite kid, does this mean he could hurt his other son’s feelings that way?

I was completely stupefied to see that the elder brother ‘s reaction to all of these. He laughed at his younger brother’s predicament and wore this smug and satisfied smirk as he’s gotten what he wanted in the first place-which I suspect not only the chicken, but to see his younger brother being shouted at by their father.

Frankly speaking, if I was the mother of the elder boy, I would have slapped him across the face  or give him a piece of my mind for being such a glutton. What else could you do to instill manner in a spoil rotten child who have his bowl full of dishes and still want to take away a measly piece of chicken in his younger brother’s bowl? The boy needs to be taught some manners. But it’s not only manners that the elder boy lack. He also need to be taught on how he should conduct himself with his siblings and be a brother to them instead of only being his father’s pet.

I was practically fuming when I watched the little boy sighed, and in a defeated manner, he reached for some veggies and swallowed the food halfheartedly while watching his brother and sister devoured their food in enjoyment. I do not doubt that the food was tasteless on the younger boy’s tongue.

I was hit hard on the head then, to realize that this is probably a common scene in most families. What’s worst, what I saw today was probably only a little glimpse of what most children who are in raised in big families are forced to endure every single day during their growing up process.

They’re treated unfairly and was ignored all the time because their siblings overshadowed them in many ways and things are never easy for them. Whatever they do were not appreciated as in their parents’ eyes, and they are always useless, stupid, whiny, bratty and ungrateful. They’re always shoved in a small corner as their siblings were put in the spotlight. Sometimes, the parents do not even see the child’s achievement or helpfulness as their favourite are constantly bragging about their contribution and take credit for what their brother or sister has done.

The children who were ignored and lack of love grew up to have rebellious streak and lack respect and love for their parents. They grew up having bitter feelings towards their parents. And they are often misunderstood as the parents refuse to pay even slightest attention to them or spend time with them.

What’s worst, not much thing change when the children grows up. Some parents tend to dote on certain daughters or sons just because one earn more than the other, or one gives more monetary contribution than the other. In worst case scenario, these children’s achievement and success will also be compared with immediate family members of their age, like cousins, or even in laws, not only in private, but in public as well.

I could never stand seeing that, period. I condemned this kind of parents to hell. As a parent, how could you treat your children so differently and love one child and shower him or her with love and attention more than the other? The child that you claim to have flaws and useless is your flesh and blood. Why can’t you treat all of your children as if they are a part of  you instead of some stray puppy you’re forced to shelter in your home?

Cleffairy: Sometimes, just sometimes, I could understand why some children claim that whether their parent(s) are still alive or not makes no difference to them, and they wouldn’t even care if their parent(s) is claimed by Death the very next hour in their life.

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When men do it, when women do it…

Now, ladies and gentleman, this is what I call news. Take a look at it:

Harian Metro reported that a 35-year-old man became a victim of polygamy after his Indonesian-born wife took another husband. Mat Kila Sapiai claimed he only recently found out that his 39-year-old wife, who had been pressuring him for a divorce, had married a 52-year-old man in Indonesia in March last year. Mat Kila said he did not suspect anything was amiss until his wife started to pressure him for a divorce.The sordid details emerged only after he confronted his wife’s “second husband”, who showed him their marriage certificate issued by an Indonesian authority in Riau. The couple has two children, a 16-year-old son and a 12-year-old girl. Mat Kila lodged a police report at the Tampoi police station last Saturday.

Now, that’s news. Men practices polygamy all the time. It doesn’t matter if they are a Muslim or not. I know of a few men who practices polygamy even though they are non-Muslim. I am not sure if it’s legal or not in Malaysia, but yes, such things do exist, til this very day, and I can vouch for that. Men plays a fool with women all the time, and keep blasted mistress in various hotel closets and went on kinky sexual position on bed with and without their wife’s knowledge. Wives who knows of their sexual tirade are expected to keep their mouth shut and behave like a wimping puppy in need of feed before their oh so mighty husbands.

Some wives are only wife by name and name only. And some husbands takes no heed of their wives’s physical and mental needs. What’s worst, when the wife asked for divorce, they refused to divorce the wife as it’ll be huge blow to their ego and their bloody manhood. And the woman have no choice but to remain married to her husband just because in Malaysia and among Muslim community, divorce do not come easy, especially if the one who is requesting for divorce is the woman.

For Muslim women, the bloody Syariah Court will go great length to counsel the wife to rethink of her decision because they obviously think that the woman in question is a fool with cotton and wool for brain for even asking for divorce. In some cases, it can take up more than 10 years for a Muslim woman to be granted divorce, even though her husband have been neglecting her and no longer live under the same roof with her and her children.

Typical bastards, I must say. But what can I can say, Syariah Court are made by men, and the laws are compiled by men, and so, of course it’s pretty normal if the Syariah Court gives men more advantage rather than women. Why should men protect womenfolk, anyway? Some only think that women is only useful in the kitchen, in bed, and in the toilet. I heard this words not only once, but a few times, spoken by typical men who I’d love very much to castrate and toss their wrinkly balls into a rubbish bin, where it belongs.

Yes, folks, such thing like polygamy happens all the time, so, when I read this particular news, I really had to laugh. All these while I’ve been hearing and reading stories about women whose husband practices polygamy, and she have no choice but to accept and suffer his decision. And now, even though I know that it’s illegal for a woman to have more than one husband, I really have to say, that I am pleased to see such news. Finally there’s a woman who show us that if men can do it, then she can too.

I have this message to bastards who have the cheek to practice polygamy and keeping mistress everywhere: Men, why must you cry foul when your wife have second husband kept somewhere? You men take not only one extra wife, but up to three extra wives all the time. Is it not time that women learn from your kinky behavior? We women are stupid, no? We can be fooled easily, lied to easily, but do remember, women do not have wool for brain, and so, sometimes, we are capable of learning and copying your dastard behavior.

If you assholes do not teach us and show us what is polygamy, then such thing would not even come across our minds. MEN! You are the one who taught us what is polygamy! So why are you complaining now? It doesn’t matter if it’s legal or not, but YOU TAUGHT US all these! If men do not practice polygamy and taught us the meaning of it, we, will not know of it.

So, when men do it, women are expected to shut up. But when women do it, men should be told to shut up as well and accept it, should they not? Yours truly do not condone infidelity as well as polygamy. I believe in monogamy and devotion to our other half. However, I find that piece of news amusing. Since men take a couple of extra wife all the time, why are they making so much noise when a woman take just one extra husband? Men are victim of polygamy practiced by women, and women are never a victim of polygamy practiced by men?  Now this is amusing!

Cleffairy: Men and women are expected of differently in the eyes of the society, however, women are also human, and as human, we women have rights like men too. But of course, we already lack of human rights in Malaysia to even begin with.

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More inspirational quote

My life has never been a bed of roses, and I am not going to pretend that it is. But I feel blessed that even though my life is always like a rainy day, there’s always sunshine hiding beneath the clouds.

A few days ago, my godmother, Aunt Iris emailed me these quotes to cheer me up, and I thought I’ll share it with you guys here since I’m not particularly feeling inspirational at the moment. Hopefully, these quotes would brighten your day as it did mine.

watwegiv

inorout

kindness

Aunt Iris is also going through a difficult time in her life, trying to adapt to changes that’s going on around her. She’s decades older than me and yet her heart is still as young as ever. I know changes are very difficult to adapt to, especially at her age, and I admire her courage to put a brave and cheerful front to face whatever it is that’s coming her way. If I could have have half the courage and wisdom to face whatever that’s coming my way I believe I would be a stronger woman.

Cleffairy: Live for today, and let tomorrow take care of itself.

PS: This entry is dedicated to three important people in my life. Here’s my little message for them.

1. My mom and dad-who had just celebrated their 25th Wedding Anniversary on 15th December 2008. Without them, I wouldn’t even be here with all of you. Wow, 25 years, that’s Silver Jubilee, isn’t it? Well, mom and dad, hope your marriage would stay strong and I will be looking forward to your Golden Jubilee.

2. Aunt Iris who have always been there for me though her own life is not always full of sunshine. I pray things would improve for you, and know it that I’ll always be there for you the way you have been for me. Love you always.

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Of modern parents, children and upbringing…

I’m seriously considering to stop taking breakfast at the regular cafe that I patronized almost every morning before I go to work, as I could not stop myself from observing my surrounding and feels bad about certain things that I see. I’ve lost track of how many articles that was inspired during my breakfast session. The previous one was about an old lady who had been sent away to live in an old folks homes. And today, again, I saw things that displease me.

I was starting to get irritated when my usual cuppa tea and half boil eggs with toasts came rather late, but instead of getting up to remind the waitress who took my order to get me my breakfast, my attention was diverted to another table nearby that’s occupied by four individuals. An elderly woman, a young man and his wife as well as their baby-age probably less than three month, as the baby still haven’t start teething yet.

So a family of four was having breakfast. Nothing wrong with the picture to me, until the baby let out a very loud wail, and instantly, the mother of the child allowed the baby to be snatched away from her arms to be cradled by the grandmother, who seems anxious about the grandchild, cooing to the baby all the way until the child’s wail were subsided into muffled sobs.

I heard the old lady spoke in Cantonese, chiding to her son in law and daughter, saying that she have been right in insisting that she took care of the baby, seeing how clueless the parents are in childcare. I was immediately aghast with her words. For a moment, I wondered if I heard correctly. Apparently, my ears did not fail me. I did heard correctly. The elder woman did say that the parents of the child are not good parents, and is not qualified to take care of their own baby. Okay, fine, that’s none of my business. But as I watched a while longer over my almost forgotten breakfast, I noticed another thing, which is the parents hardly give any attention at all to the baby, as if they do not care of the baby’s cries for attention or needs. They simply allowed the grandmother to handle everything and made no attempt to interfere at all.

Then after a moment, the parents stood up, bidding the elderly woman goodbye and tell her that they will come to visit her and their baby in a week or two, and to pick the baby for an immunization to be done in Johore. Apparently, the couple is living in Johore and had somehow left their child to live with the grandmother. Even at the mention of immunization, the elder woman was rather reluctant to allow the parents to bring her grandchild away from her. So she had insisted that they bring her along. The couple agreed instantly and rushed away, not even kissing or hugging their baby goodbye. The child remained in the grandmother’s protective clutches.

A question came to my mind. Is this the right thing to do? To allow your parents to raise your child for you in your hometown while you go and work elsewhere, and only see your child one week once or fortnightly once? Is it a trend that I am missing that young parents with career these days do not get involve much in bringing up their children?

All the dirty job was left to either the grandparents, nanny, babysitters or even child day care and nurseries. Majority of working parents opt the easy way out of the parenting job by handing it over to others. They do not get involve with the feeding, what more changing diapers or teaching their children proper manners and etiquette. The parents definitely missed out the time the child’s first tooth started to grow, the first words, the first crawl or even first few steps taken by the child while learning to walk. The parents would missed all of the beautiful things that happened during their child’s growing up process.

I had known that somehow it’s been a norm in some families to let the grandparents raise the young ones, but I definitely had not known that they played very little part in their children’s upbringing- most only contributed money to the ones who are taking care of their child where their child’s well being is concern. So is parenting these days is about sending your child to your parents or your in laws to be taken care of, and you only contributed money so that your child will be fed and well clothed?

Who is the real parents here, you or your parents? I could not understand modern women these days, they wanted to become mother, willing to let the stomach be bloated like some hot air balloon and go through labor pain but not willing to take care or involved much in raising their own child. Hell some mothers do not even know how to take care of their children properly and spoil their children like hell when they finally take their children to live with them again, probably at the age of five or six, where all the awkward times during childhood had passed. Disciplining the child is definitely out of question.

Again, my question here is, why bother giving birth to your child just to satisfy your own maternal need and to stop your biological clock from tick-tocking and drives you insane? Why bother, when all you did after the child’s birth, you parceled your child away to be taken care by your old folks and you only see your kid once in a while? Don’t give me the bullshits about being too busy with work. You ought to know when you decided to have a baby that the responsibility of raising a child is huge and sacrifices in time and career is required of you. So why send your child away to be taken care of? Even animals are more involved in raising their young than modern people these days.

Call me old fashion, but I come from a family where my father and mother took care of me themselves since I was a wailing infant to this very day, though I’m all grown up, married and all. There’s not a day in my parent’s life that they left me to be taken care by both of my grandparents, maternal and paternal alike. My own grandparents are strictly grandparents, how they should be, where my parents would bring me to visit them once in a while so that my grandparents would dote one me and then they would bring me back with them and raise me with their very bare hands. I definitely do not mistake my grandmother for being my mother when I was younger like children these days do.

And yes, before you ask me about my childhood, my father did clean up my poop and I even pee on his head while he’s sleeping him when I was a baby(this is one bloody story my dad would tell people over and over again when he talked about raising children to this very damn day, pretty embarrassing for me)- he even bathe me when I was barely three days old, I have loads of my naked pictures to prove that. Squealing and wriggling in my father arms while he bathe me while my mother looked on very anxiously. And yes, my mother did get her fair share of my tantrums when I refused to eat vegetable that she sneaked in my porridge. My parents did not allow my grandparents to even interferre in my upbringing, and I was their firstborn, no less. They had no experience in handling babies whatsoever when they had me, and yet, they do not throw me to my grandparents to be taken care of like modern parents these days.

I doubt most of modern parents these days share the same experience as my parents. They are barely parents, to even begin with. More like an ATM machine rather than parents, I must say.


Cleffairy: As parents, do play important role in your children’s upbringing as parents. Please do not just be an ATM machine to them.

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World AIDS Day, Please Support PMTCT!

It’s 1st December 2008 when I wrote this entry. This entry was originally meant for another one of my regular venting until I saw a young child, who is probably still in her primary school walked passed me at my regular breakfast spot. I almost missed the red ribbon that she’s wearing, pinned on her black coloured t-shirt. All but a child reminded me that today, 1st December 2008 hold more significant than other day. Today is supposed to be the World Red Ribbon Day, or in other words, the World AIDS Day.

The realization hit me very hard on my head. I felt as if I’ve been knocked on the head by an imaginary teacher, and it hurts. I have realized two things over my cuppa tea after seeing the little girl wearing a pinned ribbon on her t-shirt, which is first, I did not do my part as a human being to make a difference to stop the stigma on the number one pandemic that still shows no sign of stopping. And two, I realized that Malaysians are not doing much to stop the innocent being victimized by AIDS. If Malaysian government have been doing their part to reduce the spread of this pandemic, I would have realized earlier that today is World AIDS Day. If Malaysian bloggers bothered enough to talk about AIDS the way they camwhore on their blogs, write about their food gluttony, bitch about politics or even gossips, I would have realized earlier that today is world’s AIDS Day. And if only Malaysian newspaper stop bootlicking the politicians for a while to reflect on Word AIDS Day, I would have worn the red ribbon myself today.

And so, today, as a blogger, I’m really ashamed of myself, for even planning to write about something that do not really matter, something that could not make a difference to the the world. So today, I would like to speak up about AIDS and the innocents. You may read this entry or even skip this altogether, I don’t mind. I just would like to spare my conscience from a guilt trip from being an ignorant and selfish human being. I may not so much difference with this entry, but at least, once you, precious readers saw the red ribbon, you’ll know what day is it today.

The innocents that I’m talking about is women and children who contracted AIDS simply because they had sex with their husband, and simply because a baby is born to a woman who is HIV positive. AIDS are often a result of infidelities and casual sex. It’s sad to see women and children all around the world had AIDS because of their husband/father’s lusts.

According to UNAIDS estimates, there are now 33.2 million people living with HIV, including 2.5 million children. During 2007 some 2.5 million people became newly infected with the virus. Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.

Around 95% of people with HIV/AIDS live in developing nations. But HIV today is a threat to men, women and children on all continents around the world.

Started on 1st December 1988, World AIDS Day is about raising money, increasing awareness, fighting prejudice and improving education. World AIDS Day is important in reminding people that HIV has not gone away, and that there are many things still to be done.

Currently only a minority of pregnant women living with HIV in the developing world are provided with drugs to prevent the virus being transmitted to their babies. As a result, nearly half a million children become infected with HIV every year.

I will not talk about how AIDS is spread and what we can and cannot do when we interact with a person who have AIDS, you probably know that. Let’s talk about stopping HIV from being transmitted from mothers to babies.The vast majority children’s prevented by stopping the transmission of HIV from mothers to their babies. If babies don’t become infected with HIV then they won’t develop AIDS and die.

Any baby born to a mother with HIV risks becoming infected during pregnancy, birth or breastfeeding. The chance of this happening can be massively reduced by giving HIV infected mothers and their babies anti-HIV drugs and, where appropriate, by feeding the baby using formula rather than breast milk.

These interventions are known as the Prevention of Mother-To-Child Transmission or “PMTCT”. No mother wants to pass HIV to her child, but without PMTCT interventions, around one in three babies born to women with HIV will become infected with HIV themselves.

In developed countries, almost all HIV infected women will receive good PMTCT care. With the best treatment and formula feeding, the chance of HIV being transmitted to the baby is less than two percent. But I doubt Malaysian women are getting such care, as the stigma is still huge in Malaysia, not to mention that women cannot access PMTCT service because it’s not available or inefficient in hospital or clinics. Stigma does not help the situation too. Once a woman is infected by HIV, she’s doomed to be called names and shunned by the society, even though she’s innocent and gets HIV as a result of her husband’s wild sex life.

My writing today may not do much difference to the escalating number of women and children getting AIDS, but I do hope to make known of this campaign that is aimed to stop the transmission of AIDS from mother to their babies. I’m pretty sure that not many is aware that such this is actually possible.

Please, I beg of all of you, spare some time to VISIT THIS SITE to find out more about PMTCT and spread about it.

Join the campaign. Your effort may be not much, but it could possibly save a life or two. You, precious readers, can make a difference. If you can camwhore for your blog, write about your food adventure or anticipation for upcoming parties or events, you definitely can do this, something that could possibly save children’s life.

Cleffairy: The children do not have to suffer for the sin of their father and mother. Stop the innocent from suffering and dying.

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