A Penny For Your Thoughts, Cleffy's Pillow Talk

Facebook: YES or NO?

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Do you communicate with your other half through Facebook or other social media websites? I don’t know if you do it, but I do. Some may find it queer, and distateful, even, but I don’t. I find it a rather effective means of communication where I can be extremely sure that my other half gets my message.

You see…despite of the convenience of communicating through the phone… via sms and calls…I find Facebook a much more effective means of communication. Calls are always missed (Sometimes he’s driving and he will forget to return my calls). Sms-ses are always ignored, forgotten, and sometimes, regarded as SPAM but Facebook? Nah… the message stays there safely and I can be sure that the message is sent to his email as well as he’s usually subscribed to those update notifications. 😀 Facebook is not all evil, you know? Nothing is ever really evil if you really make good use of it. A gun on it’s own is not evil. The one who pulls the trigger to shoot the innocents is evil. Not the gun itself.

You might find it funny, amusing and irritating when you see me tagging my husband or my friends on Facebook for trivial or personal matters. You may wonder why I don’t choose to do it through a much more conventional means of communication…but hey…I don’t see communicating with my husband through Facebook is wrong.

I, for one, can proudly say that I don’t go around flirting with other people’s husbands and wreck people’s marriage while I’m at it on Facebook like some manipulative and pretentious bimbos. I use it for my own good, and while you see I rant and whine and complain in my status updates all the time, how do you know what really transpire in private messages? *gRinZ*

How do you know I don’t do sexy, flirty messages to my husband through Facebook private messaging system? LOL! I’m an author, you know. I can be quite good with words when I chooses to be. And I can assure you that when I chooses to be flirty, I can be very seductive.

Cleffairy: So, ladies…and gentleman…do you do sexy talks or communicate with your spouse through Facebook? Don’t be jealous, ya…I have my husband to flirt with on Facebook. 😀

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

Respect it when people say NO!

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I was lazily browsing around and blog hopping a moment ago, and I came across Eugene’s blog, and I really had to admire him for trusting his kids to do the right thing and not nag them to no end and drive them away from him. I suppose his method of parenting is pull and not push. I respect him for having enough faith that he taught his children well enough that they will have the conscience to do the right thing without having him nag them or force them to do so.

I think if you’re a regular reader over here in Over A Cuppa Tea, you would realize that I have met Eugene once during my trip to Penang somewhere in July, and as I was reading his blog, I recalled the time when we were having dinner together with his family.

We were happily chatting with each other over dinner in a food court somewhere in Gurney, and the subject about our mutual blogger friends came up. If my memories serves me right, we mentioned STP, Claire, Bananaz and also Smallkucing.

Eugene asked me if Smallkucing goes for foodie trip in Penang often, and so, I told him yes, but usually with his non-blogger friends and his grandparents, that is why his Mamarazzi(the real author behind Smallkucing.com) don’t call up any blogger friend from Penang to visit them on her trips. You know how awkward it can get if we bring people who have nothing in common to meet the friends that we know online. The conservative elders wouldn’t approve that either. They will tell you that such people are considered strangers, and it’s no good to meet up with people you haven’t been introduced before.

Out of the sudden, Eugene got cheeky and asked me if he could have Smallkucing’s Mamarazzi’s phone number so that he could call her up and introduce himself. I told him no, he can’t have her number because Mamarazzi will strangle me, and if he wants to have her number, he’ll have to ask her himself. Well, Mamarazzi won’t strangle me. That’s just exaggerating, but I respect Mamarazzi’s privacy and I don’t wish to upset her by giving her phone number to people who does not have it. I always think that it’s better for her to make acquaintance with Eugene herself and vice versa.

Eugene did not push the issue when I said no to him. I was really surprised because not everyone whom I have encountered will take no for an answer, especially when it comes to giving our mutual friends’ phone number to the party who does not have it. They think it’s all right to do so, but I for one, don’t think it’s all right. Like what Eugene said to me back then, you got to respect it when people say no, and you got to respect people’s privacy.

I may not know Eugene very well as I just got to know him through the cyberworld, but I do know that he’s a charismatic man and he’s gentleman enough to take no as an answer from his friends and his family. Now, that’s something each and everyone of us should learn.

Cleffairy: Do you simply give your friends’ contact numbers and whatnot when people ask it from you, or you give them a firm no? Do respect people’s privacy if you want people to respect yours. There’s a limit to everything.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

Like Father, Like Daughter

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A few days ago was my father’s birthday. He’s 53 this year. Initially, we planned to celebrate his birthday together over  home-cooked dinner, but unfortunately, it has to be called off as my father had to attend his company annual dinner.

Naturally, us daughters are upset, because we don’t get to celebrate his birthday together. You see, my family appreciate each other very much. We don’t forget birthdays and important dates like anniversaries, and more often than not, we try to make time for each other on those special dates.

Sure, a lot of people will say that everyday is your birthday if you’re happy, but what harm is there when you make extra effort to make your loved ones feels more appreciated? I don’t see any harm in that. I see that as a token of love. If you love someone, you’ll make an effort to make him or her feels much happier on special days like birthdays and anniversaries.

I suppose, this is a sentiment that none of my in laws shared. 9 years being together with my husband, and I can only remember him celebrating his birthday with his father twice. Or was it once? I’m not quite sure, but he celebrated with his father during those years is because I made an effort to arrange a birthday dinner for my husband. *ROLL EYES*

Okay… I suppose the very typical Chinese do not make an effort to celebrate life, and I’ll just leave it like that because it is better if the in laws do not remember any of our birthdays. That means we get to celebrate privately without stress, and I am definitely NOT COMPLAINING (strange enough though, my father in law remembers his favourite sons birthday. Geez… favouritism much?)

Tsk… I’m straying… back to my daddy dearest. My father informed my sister and I that the birthday dinner had to be canceled cuz his boss wanted him to attend company dinner on his behalf. And he had no choice but to comply.

And so, after his dinner a few days later, I called him up to wish him happy birthday again and yak with him.

He told me that he’s so glad that I called. He told me that my call had made his day, and I was amused, as I thought that he was enjoying himself at his company annual dinner.

I thought wrong, apparently, and so, I asked him why he didn’t enjoy the dinner.

This is why: Recently, one of my father’s friend, who happens to be promoted to a higher post was there. This friend is his childhood friend. A friend who grew up with him; a guy who copied his homework and gets away with cheating, etc etc, but always outshine my father because he’s much more outspoken and not as scrawny as my father. My father walks up to congratulate this friend. Naturally, that’s what you do, right? I mean, that’s the polite thing to do. Besides, if the one who was promoted is one of your best friend, you’d be happy for them, right?

Guess what was that bastard’s response? Well, as soon as my father approached this friend of his, the friend started to feel uncomfortable and started to avoid my father, and attempt to ignore him. My father was very shocked with his behavior because all he did was say hi and congratulate his friend.

My father was upset, but being a mild mannered guy he is, he said nothing when this friend of his says he’ll talk to my father later and simply walks off to mingle around with a bunch of CEOs and VIPs of the company. This so-called friend of his behaves as if my father is a low class person and it’s embarrassing for him to be seen with my father during a high profile event, and apparently, it is a waste of time too to even say hello to my father during such events, and he’s better off doing some apple polishing elsewhere.

Funny enough, the jackass have the nerve to called up my father for a favour a few days later. That is just plain disgusting. It is clear to me, my sister and my mother that all these while, this friend is merely using and manipulating my father for his own benefits and does not value their friendship at all.

I sighed then. I did not know how to comfort my father because I knew how he felt. After all, I am acquainted to this friend of his as well. This friend of his watched me and my sister grew up. He came from a poor family, and my father once lend his car to this friend of his when his wife was in labour. Imagine that sort of friendship…he was much closer to my father than any of my uncles (my father’s brother), and yet, with fame, money, glamour, he has forgotten his root.

My father never expected anything in return but polite friendship from this friend, and yet… even that sort of thing is unreachable. What is this world coming to? I have no answer to that, but sometimes, I can see that I am becoming more and more like my father in regards of social standing. People tend to trample us in public because we’re probably insignificant and unimportant in the eyes of the high profile society.

At the end of the call… I can only tell my father that he’s not alone, and I can feel him as I’ve experienced such thing countless times before to the point I feel numb. He was surprised to hear my bitter words and was concern for me, but I told him, I’m lucky enough to experience all these nonsense when I’m not even in my 30s yet. At least I know who merely using me for their own benefit, and who is not.

Cleffairy: I’m unfazed with glamour and authorities. They mean nothing to me. I do not idolize people who are of high stature or glamour, because as far as I’m concerned they are just human with faults and skeletons in their closets! Work with that sort of people for a couple of years, and you’ll get what I mean.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, writing

My first book signing dinner…

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*picture stolen from Mommyling*

I think July 2011 have been the most hectic but memorable month of the year for me. I went on a… *choke* honeymoon, had countless romantic dinner and quiet time with the love of my life, had tonnes of fun in places I never thought I’ll go, experienced things that I never thought that I’ll ever experience before, and most importantly, an impromptu book signing over an unplanned dinner.

Sounds like a busy month, no? Yes… busy, very busy. I barely have time to breathe, but it’s also a very blessed month for me. God have been so kind to me and has blessed me with so many things and I can’t think of asking for anything more.

Now, I know some of my friends have been asking me to sign the proof copy of the novels that I’ve given them…and I’ve been putting it off since not everyone who is close to me has received their copy of my novels yet. Don’t ask me why some of my friends haven’t receive it, but there has been a lot of issues with the Home Ministry and customs clearance…and there’s not much thing I can do but patiently wait for the issue to be resolved.

Anyway this entry is about my first book signing in public. I did not plan the event. Of course, there’s some point in the future I will want to hold a meet and greet and talk about my books and get to know my readers, but I am not exactly ready to release my novels in Malaysia for various reasons. That explains why you can’t buy it in Malaysia, and that explains why only some people have the ARC of my books too-the books are just ARC, proof copies for reviewers and advance readers. Some of it are not ready for publication yet. They are error infested and I gave them away in hope that those who received it will give me some constructive criticism and their opinions on the books.

I don’t feel like I’m ready for a meet and greet or a book signing at the moment. I don’t feel like I’m ready for a glamorous public exposure yet, I feel like I still have a lot of things to learn as an author, but my evil sisters seems to think otherwise.

It all started with an innocent conversation. I was chatting with Smallkucing‘s Mamarazzi and Mommyling where I was complaining that I’m feeling hungry and desperately need to eat(duh, I’m always hungry), and then, out of the sudden they asked me out for dinner.

And so, I went out for dinner with them, but it is one hell of a dinner. I think I’ll never forget that til the day I breathe my last. I was eating, quietly and sedately while the rest were talking with each other happily. Then, out of the sudden, Mommyling took out two of my novels and asked me to sign it for her. I was really surprised. I never thought that she’ll bring the novels out, what more ask me to sign the novels there and then.

Foolish me thought she merely wants me to take it and sign it when I reach home and give it back to her the next time I meet her like what Smallkucing’s Mamarazzi always do, but no…she did not want me to take it back home and sign it and give it back to her the next time I meet her. She wants it there and then. *FAINT*

I was stunned for a moment. That was really unexpected. But of course, I complied and sign it for her…and I thought it will be over once I sign the novels for her, but noooooo… she had to take out her camera and snap my picture while I sign the novels. *SHOCKED* She even used flash to snap my picture and people from the next table were very curious when they saw me signing the novels while Smallkucing’s Mamarazzi, Mommyling and our respective spouses cheer on. *HORRIFIED* I practically had to resist the urge to look around and register the surroundings so that it will be etched in my memory forever. >.< I was kinda flustered. Tsk. Talk about camera shy author. (How the hell I’m gonna survive my book signing ceremony in the future, I have no idea… I’m still trying to work it out.)

I don’t think I can ever recover from that little surprise Mommyling decided to cook up. I will remember it forever, because despite of the shock that it gave me, I couldn’t help but feel happy about it… not because I feel glamorous or feel like a celebrity, but I feel that someone appreciate me enough to do such a thing for me. That little surprise alone, means much more to me than a public meet and greet session and one day, when someone ask me about my first book signing experience, I’ll be quoting this one in particular.

My novels have been featured in Claire’s blog, Smallkucing’s blog as well as Mommyling’s blog too. It might not mean much to others, but to me, it’s way better than being featured in one of the column in the mainstream newspapers. To me, any Tom Dick and Harry who have connection with the editor or journalists can have themselves featured in the newspaper, but not any Tom, Dick or Harry can be featured in their blogs, because they did it from the bottom of their hearts and asked nothing in return for writing it.

Thank you very much, ladies. Without you guys, I am no one.

Cleffairy: The best things in lives are mostly unplanned.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Cleffy's Pillow Talk

There’s no accident or coincidence, only reasons.

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I don’t believe in accidents or coincidence. I believe that things happened for a reason, especially if it is bad things. If bad things happened to me a few years back, I might not be able to see it as a blessing in disguise. I would cry foul and point finger to the sky and blame God for being unfair and not listening to my prayers, but now, I can see that things happened for a reason, and God never answer your prayers at your convenience, but at His when the time is truly right.

He is the epitome of mercy and justice. He will give you justice, and it’s just the matter of time before he showed it to you. All you have to do is be patient and take everything in life as His will and learn to listen to Him follow His plans.

You see, I did not believe in Him back then… or rather, I felt that He no longer love me and I was not worthy of His love, and therefore, He was no longer with me. But as time goes by, I could see that God is always with me. It was me who was not with Him. And he was trying hard to get me back into His arms by showing me things that I could not see through the things that’s going on in my life. He loved me, and that is why bad things happened: to show me truth, and how the world is really like.

I’ve been working very hard lately. I took extra projects and whatnot so that I could save for the rainy day. But out of the sudden, my netbook died on me. Well, it did not exactly died on me, but it was not chargeable when I plugged it to the adapter. Consequently, I could not do work. I wanted to cry as there was dateline to be met and the workload was practically piling. But I took a deep breath, say a prayer, and took it as a blessing.

I was thinking that surely something good could come out for this. God must have known that I’ve been working too hard, and since I refused to take a rest, he made me take a rest by making my netbook ‘rest’. And so, taking it as a sign from Him, I shut it down, turned away from the table, and took a good rest by relaxing and spending time with my family.

I was amazed, really. My husband not only did not scowl at me for messing up the netbook or made me feel bad, but he comforted me instead and told me not to worry as he’ll set up a desktop for me to use temporarily until he figured out what’s wrong with my netbook.

I appreciates this very much cuz he’s extremely busy and shouldn’t be disturbed right now as he’s supposed to take another round of exam next week. I did not wish to disrupt his concentration, but he assured me that it’s all right and even promised me that if it can’t be repaired, he’ll buy me a new one (and in respond, I told him I’ll pay half). I was really touched. To others, this may be nothing, but to me, this is alot, especially when it cost my husband precious studying time and possibly, money too.

And so, my husband set-up another PC for me to use, which is operating under different operating system that I am not exactly familiar with: FreeBSD- A Unix based operating system. (My netbook was running on Ubuntu Netbook Remix). I fiddled around with it and I learned to use one more operating system. This is good, isn’t it? If my netbook did not died on me that day, I wouldn’t have bothered to learn to use something else besides  Mac, Windows and Ubuntu. Because of this, I’ve broadened my horizon a little bit in the field of computing and Open Source.

And because my netbook was not chargeable and there was no power going through it, and I couldn’t possibly continue doing my work. And because of it, I was forced to put work aside and just relax and reminded myself that I ought to backup my netbook regularly in case of such thing happens again.

My husband  took some time to unwind too and spent…. ahemm… quality time with me. I suppose the boy enjoyed it too, considering the mummy is not completely glued to the PC or forcing him to sit beside her and practice his writing as she do her own work and is able to bring him out for a stroll and eating out.

Anyway, at the end of the day, we went to the shop and get them to service the netbook for us (since it’s a branded netbook and couldn’t be ‘dissect’ or the warranty would be void), and we were told that the adapter conked out, and therefore, the netbook couldn’t be turned on and the battery was not chargeable.

We paid for a new adapter, and I was singing praises for Him deep inside cuz we not only do not need to buy a new netbook, but we get to spend quality time together. It’s been a long time since I feel this way and I am forever grateful to Him for making me stop working for a day and enjoy what life and people around me had to offer. Now that I’ feel much more relaxed and after a really fun break from work, I can now work much in a much more efficient manner since my mind and body is refreshed.

This little glitch made me feel closer to Him too. It made me think of practicing Sabbath. Hmm. I wonder if I could accomplish that?

On a much more romantic note, I feel much more connected to my husband since he started studying again. I am sure this is His doing too. God does work in mysterious way, does he not?

Cleffairy: There’s no accident or coincidence, only reasons. You just have to learn to open your eyes and see the reasons.

ps: Thank you for the new adapter and the new mouse.

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Cleffy's Pillow Talk

10 Things I Love About My Husband

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1. You are my pro-bono in- house technician. Whenever my PC dies in my hand, you’d come to my rescue. Nothing is impossible to you. You’re my knight in… uh…no armour.

2.  I’ve known for a fact that you’d walk through fire for me, though I am not sure if you could swim across the ocean for me… cuz you can’t swim. =.=

3. You’re my walking ATM machine. I don’t exactly have to bring out money whenever I’m with you cuz you will gladly pay for me. You’re such a gentleman.

4. You will get rid of whatever disgusting creature (lizard, rats) that disrupt the peace of my mind for me, so I love you alot for this.

5. You’re my pro-bono in-house plumber, wire-man, repairman… (Tsk tsk stk~)

6. You’ll buy me a new handphone if my phone conk out on me. (AHEMMM!)

7. You’re a very good kisser and I really, really like your hugs. Whatever that’s beyond hugging and kissing is not mentionable here, by the way. I believe my readers are very innocent. So ask me again when we’re alone.

8. You let me learn a lot of new things and let me be creative. You do not mind my eccentricity. I love you for this the most.

9. You will buy new Netbook for me now that it conked out on me… (ahemm, ahemm!)

10. YOU WILL BUY NEW NETBOOK FOR ME. SOBS…please buy a new netbook for me if it can’t be fixed. You know I cannot live without you… and also my netbook!

Cleffairy: There you go, folks… 10 things I love about my husband. He’s the greatest person in the world cuz he’ll buy me a new netbook (hopefully) when my own died on me! *duh, I am so shameless*

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Cleffy's Pillow Talk, Fairy's Tale, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

Things I can get used to again ^_^

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I mentioned in my previous blog post that my husband is studying again, didn’t I? Well… some people would say that studying and marriage does not exactly walk hand in hand as it is hard to juggle between your academic life and your family life, but I completely disagree. Why? Well, elementary my dear readers. When I first met my husband we were both just students. And when we’re together and blessed with a baby, we were still students. I was not even out of college yet and I managed to get good results in my studies while being a full time mother. It was hard, yes, but not impossible.

My husband and I graduated and when we started working 2-3 years back, we promised each other that we will not allow our marriage and relationship stop us from pursuing our studies in the future. Now it is time to keep our words to each other. My husband has just started studying again, and it will be my turn to continue my studies next year when our boy is finally standard 1. It would be great. The three of us will be students. We’d make quite a trio, don’t you think? Imagine the three of us sitting at the table doing our homeworks together or preparing for exams together. I think it would be very very nice!

My husband studying again is something I definitely can get used to… it’s going to be a bit rough along the way, no doubt, but I am very proud of my husband that he decided to continue his study. I’ve always have the hots for intelligent men whose nose stuck in the book every now and then. I find it pretty arousing and very, very, very sexy. (OMG… when the hell will he finally ruin his eyesight and wear specs? That would be sexier…just like Clark Kent!)

I like men with brains…they are… highly stimulating. LOL! Ahemm… I am not sure if my husband will read this. I don’t really hope he will read this post. I think I’d feel abit shy for expressing myself like this. But then again… what the hell… seeing him studying again reminds me of our college years where we’re both horny teenagers.

He was my senior, and we used to study together. And seeing him studying these days really brings back those memories where we used to hold hands and steal kisses in places we’re not supposed to do so- in the elevator, in the library, in the gardens and playgrounds…. Okay, we were both very naughty…so if you don’t want to read mushy things over here and goes eyewww, please get out of here before I make you retch. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.LOL.

Just last week, before my husband left for his exam, I kissed him good luck. It is nothing, really. I always kiss him on the lips each time before he go out. I’ve forgotten why we’ve been doing this, but now that he’s been studying and I’ve been taking a hell lot of trip down the memory lane, I finally remembered why I’ve been kissing him by the door before he goes out of the house without failed.

It is because I realized that I actually liked kissing him and being kissed since my first kiss back then. I used to steal kisses from him ever since our first kiss in front of my hostel room nine years ago. =.= It’s been a habit since, and when we started to live together, we just casually kiss each other before either one of us leave the house and stopped remembering why we’ve been doing this all these years, and from hot, open mouthed kisses, it became a chaste kiss on the lips.

Things are different when we’re living together. Things became rather…mundane, but now… I am not quite sure if I can say the same since my husband started to study again. There are welcome changes…things that I can definitely get used to again.

Oh boy… I think I am in big trouble. I caught myself stealing glances at my husband when he was sedately driving and I did the unthinkable and peep on him while he was studying. *FACEPALM* Not sure what the hell is wrong with me, but I suppose, seeing him having his nose stuck in the book makes me feel as giddy as a teenager again.

After so many years… I feel as if I don’t just need him in my life as the father to my child or my husband, but I want him all over again…want him… as in… want him just as him-no title or responsibility attached. Hmm… weird, that doesn’t really make sense. I suppose a better description of it it is falling in love with him all over again? Geez… I dunno… I can’t think straight right now. Right now I’m having flashback of us dancing to N’sync song- “I Drive Myself Crazy’. This damn scene where we dance in his room during college keeps intruding the peace of my mind. *GROAN*  What the hell is wrong with me?

Sigh… anyway, my husband had his first exam 2 weeks ago and he passed with distinction. I am very proud of him and I think he deserved the good result as he really did study alot and drives my hormones crazy during the period. As much as I support him and wants him to excel… I am not quite sure if I’d survive myself. I’m becoming  the younger version of me with each passing day and I could have sworn that he’s becoming the younger version of himself as well… with loads of improvements and tricks up his sleeves.  My husband haven’t been a really good boy these days. He’s been rather naughty. =.= I wish I can say two can play the seduction game, but I’m a bit of a chicken, and this time around, I’d be sure to remind myself of protection. >.< I’m enjoying my life too much to be a mother all over again! For now, I want to enjoy being an ‘elder sister’ to my son and a lover to my husband.

Cleffairy: I lie awake, I drive myself crazy, thinking of you…

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

Am I that young and naive?

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I am easily upset. It takes very little to upset me. But fortunately, it takes simple things to make me happy. Yes…I took pleasure in simple things in life and therefore… I get easily distressed by the fact that things gets complicated even when I’m laying low and minding my own business.

Anyway, yesterday, I went out with a friend for dinner, and her 5 years old little girl mistook my husband for my father and my son for being my little brother.

That is not the first time she referred them as my father and my little brother. She’s been referring them that for quite some time now. I was really amused and very pleased… to think that I look young enough to be my husband’s daughter and my son’s elder sister. LOL. Tsk… if only my husband and I have a daughter. Too bad. I’ve always wanted a little girl of my own. But then again, that’s just wishful thinking.

Dreams does not fit into reality very well. I have very little desire to start being a mother all over again. To be honest, I’m kinda enjoying being a mum to an older kid instead of babies and toddler. I do not wish to change anything, and I hope that everyone, including my husband would respect my wishes.

Anyway, I corrected the little girl and told her that they’re not my father and not my little brother. I told her that they’re my husband and son respectively. The little girl may not know this, but she made my day. She made me so happy cuz in her eyes, I look young.

That sweet little girl made me wonder: Do I really look that young? For what it’s worth, Mamarazzi and Paparazzi called me an underage girl before when I donned sporty clothes and a cap. Kids in the kindergarten sometimes mistook me for being an elder sister to my son too. And some of my colleagues and friends often mistook the boy for being my younger brother as well.

Hmmm…curious thought. I suppose I ought to enjoy the case of mistaken identity while it last. 😀

Cleffairy: It is a misfortune that sometimes reality does not accommodate dreams very well. And it is a misfortune too, that many hides their true colours. In the world of the adult, simple thinking, sincerity, honesty and true love is indeed a rare commodity.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Book review, writing

I Almost Divorced My Husband, But I Went On Strike Instead

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Disclaimer: I want to do a lot of things, but I don’t have much time to accommodate everything. The article below is open for interpretation, and it’s a result of my attempt at writing a multi- purpose article. The article below is written because:

  • I’m participating in a writing challenge in my writing circle that begins with: Write a coherent article that contains:Queen of the  Nile, Duracell Bunny, battery, Genie, pollution, Disney’s movie, Medieval slave.
  • I need to write a book review that I’ve been procrastinating from writing.
  • My desire to write up a Labour’s Day dedication to all overworked ladies who are wife and mother, but don’t quite have the time to do it, so yes, this is a Labour’s Day dedication.

I don’t know about you ladies out there, but for me, married life is not exactly a bed of roses. If a friend ask me what married life is like, I’d scornfully say it’s like working without the benefit of medical leave or any other advantages that’s applicable to other employees all around the world.’Vacations’ or a ‘medical leave’ is extremely hard to obtained for us wives. Well, at least to me, it is difficult.

Being married sometimes would also mean that you can be subjected to verbal and emotional harassment from your in- laws, and yet, you don’t quite have the rights whatsoever to drag your in- laws to court because more often than not, such action shall undermine your marriage because your other half gets all emotional over it and consequently, the marriage will turn sour and things will be ugly indefinitely.

Ask me how it is like to be a mother… I’d say: Quite like a Medieval slave in a feudal Lord’s household, cuz there’s endless chores to be done, tonnes of responsibility being placed on the shoulder, absolutely no escape, no bloody rest even you’re halfway dead and not to mention you shall also be the subject of society’s scrutiny if you failed to educate your children to be up to par with their peers.

Ask me what’s the advantage of being married… perhaps I’d say free, legal sex, though not necessarily safe all the time. That is an advantage, of course, if you have a libido like a hormonal teenager and your other half is actually good in bed and bent on pleasing you first before pleasing and satiating his own carnal needs.

If you don’t quite fancy having sex or the man is the kind who likes to please himself without taking your needs into consideration, then such legal advantage is of course, not an advantage and it’s just another chore and responsibility in your already long list.

Of course, I’m not saying that marriage and motherhood will be the same with everyone. Some women managed to land themselves some precious catch where their husband spoil them like the Queen of The Nile. They are the Queen of the world and need not lift a finger to even eat.

I only feel that way because at times, I feel that I am not appreciated and being taken for granted. I feel that way because people expect me to do everything and refuse to pick after themselves and see me like some sort of automatic machine that will do everything for them whenever, whatever they want to be done.

They also think that I am not entitled for some good rest. Perhaps, they are under the illusion that I am a Genie. Whatever they want, they’ll just wish it and I shall make it appear. Want a drink? No problem, just state the wish to me and I’ll make it appear. Want something to eat, no problem too, I’ll make it appear in a jiffy. Want money? Want massage? Sure, no problem. I can make it appear too and they do not even need to say the magic word ‘please’ or ‘thank you’.

I do wonder if I’m blue in colour… like that Genie in Disney’s movie Aladdin. I must be a higher class Genie, though… cuz apparently, the wishes people can ask of me is not just limited to 3, and they need not thank me for it because they probably thinks Genies like me won’t get mad and leave them because I’m under some unbreakable, binding contract that will not allow me to leave.

But of course… higher class Genie like me need not to live in an old lamp. I guess I’m luckier than any other Genies cuz I actually live in a house. Thank God for small mercies. I hate to think that I’d be confined in a lamp throughout my tenor as a Genie. I’m terribly claustrophobic, if you must know.

Sometimes, I tend to think I look like some noise pollution technician too, cuz every time there’s noise in the house, I’d be expected to fix it and make the noise go away.

You see, I got extremely sick and tired of that; to be seen like some sort of furniture that blends in the house perfectly. I wanted to be treated like human again, so whenever I feel that it is too much, I’d just go on strike and stop doing whatever I am expected to do. No cooking, no cleaning, no babysitting, no whatsoever.

Enough is enough, and one enough as for what it’s worth, even an employee have their rights and access to annual leave or medical leave. All they need to do is just apply it and they will get it. I should be entitled to some sort of relief too. I ought to be given the rights to say ‘NO’ when things does not sit well with me or when I am exhausted or when I’m ill. And I definitely have to be given rights to have a ‘ME’ time without being disturbed.

After so many years, I have come to realize that I’m not a toy bunny that’s running on Duracell battery that can go on and on without stopping. I’m just a bunny that’s running on a re-chargeable battery, and when the battery is depleted, I need to be recharged so that I can work efficiently again. I want to be appreciated. I need to make people see the importance of the role that I’m playing in the house.

I suppose, some ladies out there are feeling the same; things are too much to handle at times but just dare not voice it out or rant it out for the fear of being judged. It’s all right. I am sure you would know when enough is enough and put a stop to it and set things straight again and make people see you as a human once more instead of just a wish granting Genie or the inexhaustible Duracell Bunny.

Perhaps, you’re overworked and under-appreciated too, but do not know how to stop being overworked and be appreciated once again. Perhaps, some of you are tempted for a divorce. But trust me, sometimes, divorce is not the solution and will not make such problems go away. In fact, sometimes, divorce will only make things worst and brings up more issue.

All you need to do is just say ‘NO’ whenever things gets too much for you and make people see your worth. Don’t know how to do that? Perhaps, this book can help.

Title: I Almost Divorced My Husband But I Went On Strike Instead

Publisher: Cedar Fort

Imprint: Bonneville Books

Pub Date:8 June 2011

ISBN:9781599555171

I Almost Divorced My Husband But I Went On Strike Instead by Sherri Mills. In my opinion, this is a must have book for every wife and mother who overworked and under-appreciated. It teaches you how to turn that monster of a kid and that chauvinist swine of a husband back into an angel they used to be in the most effective and subtle way. I received a digital ARC of this book from the publisher Cedar Fort via Netgalley and I must say, this is definitely a self-help treasure. A 5 star book. If you’re an overworked and under-appreciated wife and mum, do yourself a favour and get a copy of this book when it’s released.

Cleffairy: Happy Labour’s Day.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

To add or not to add?

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I received sms from one my uncles a couple of days ago, which is rather unusual, because he never keep in touch with me for God knows since when despite the fact that he is my father’s younger brother.

We used to be closed… he used to bring me for walks and play with me and whatnot when I was a little girl, but our relationship somehow grew apart when I went to college.

Our relationship grew further apart when my grandmother passed away and got even worst when his children, my cousins…annoyed me to death by being freeloaders. They like to take the easy way out and when they get into all sort of trouble, they will look up my father, who… out of pity, will bail them out countlessly til one day, got sick of them.

I… I don’t like my cousins. It is not that I do not appreciate the fact that we’re of same blood, but… you know, sometimes…it’s really sickening to hear from my parents about them.  Of course it doesn’t  help it too that they used to play all sort of pranks and get me and my sister into trouble when we were children too. Yes. They’re the sort of disaster that my sister and I would like to avoid at all cost.

Only last month, my cousin asked my father for RM5,000. She said it was for starting business. My father was wary of all this nonsense as this is not the first time she asked money from him. Each and every single time, she concoct all sort of excuses to ask money from my father. Same goes with her younger brother. They’re both just the same.

This time, my father told her off politely, saying that if she really wants to start a business, then she should go to the bank, get her proposal approved and get some loans and whatnot as that is the correct way to do business. Each and every time she’d ask to borrow money from him…but God knows how much she owed my father by now!

Is it called borrowing if you never intend to return it? This is nothing but bullshit, and I’m glad my father finally told her off. Don’t get me wrong. My family and I do not mind helping if they are really in need, but each and every time… we do not know where the money goes to, and what’s more, they are living in luxury. New cars, new handphones and gadgets all the time, fashionable clothes, etc. In my humble opinion, these people do not know how to live within their means.

I do not understand why such people exists, and I can’t believe how thick-faced they are. I always have financial issue. God knows how many times I cried because of financial problems before I sleep. And God knows how many sleepless days and night I have to go through thinking about money. I complained to no one. (Okay, maybe I did complain to close friends to let the steam off, but I never once ask to borrow anything from them)

My husband and I work our ass off to make ends meet, and the car that we’re using right now is even a second hand car that’s more than 10 years old. We barely survive with what we have in our savings account every goddamn month, but we never, ever asked help from anyone… not even our parents. We rather work our butts off than beg around for money from our relatives. We rather use a bloody car that gives us trouble most of the time than borrow some money from our parents or relatives so that we can travel in style.

When we’re insufficient of funds, I would add more classes and extend my teaching hours. I would also take extra editing projects and writing projects. I burn the midnight oil to the point my hormone gone imbalance and my doctor warns me to take it easy for the fear of hypertension.

My husband on the other hand, would also do his part by extending his working hours and take in more project. We never once take the easy way out by asking money from people just because we find it hard to pay the bills at the end of the day.

When I really couldn’t take it… I would call my father… you know… just to hear his voice, to hear him ask me if everything is okay… but never to ask anything from him. I don’t want him to worry about me. He deserves better than a whiny daughter who cannot stand up on her own.

I want to make my father proud… besides… each time I’m down, his voice have a rather magical effect on me. His voice never failed to remind me of words he once told me when I was a child. “I am a lion” (he’s born under the sign of Leo) ” And therefore, you should be a lioness. And lioness are strong and hold their own”

I can never understand… why… my cousins(yes… plural… not just one of them but a couple of them!) cannot do the same, and each time they have ‘financial’ issue, they’d simply call up my father and ask for money to be credited into their account! Who did they think my father is? A walking ATM machine? What rights do they have to simply ask money from my father when none of his daughters did that when they’re facing financial problems?

Okay, I admit… each time my father visit me I’d go on my daddy’s little girl mode and ask him to treat me with my favourite food or my favourite home-cook food. But that cannot be considered the same, can it? That is as far as it goes, and it did not involved money, and it is something he and my mother willingly give as a token of their love and affection.

Anyway… just a couple of days after my cousin asked for money from my father, her father, my uncle contacted me via sms. He was asking me if I have a Facebook account. I lied. Yes, I LIED. I said, NO. I don’t have a Facebook account and when he asked me to sign up for a Facebook account, I told him that I’m not exactly IT literate. I know this tactic. He’s been using it for ages. Each time he or my cousins failed to get money from my father, they’d go through me, hoping that I will persuade my father on their behalf, considering that my father hardly refuse me for I am always his little princess.

I don’t mean to shut my uncle out of my life like this… but sometimes… I get tired of his family’s nonsense and I am wary of listening to him asking me to help my cousins out too when nobody actually cares if I have any problems or not. Sometimes… I wish I can love and respect my uncle and my cousins the way I did when I was a little girl… but what can I say now? Not much…to me, sometimes, to be kind, you need to be cruel.

Cleffairy: Won’t you agree with me that sometimes, to be kind, you need to be cruel?

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