A Penny For Your Thoughts, Current Issue

Female Condoms- Femdoms/Femcond/FC

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Disclaimer: This entry is rated NC-17, and intended strictly for educational purposes.You may find the content of this entry offensive. Read at your own risk.

world-aids-day20071

It’s still AIDS Awareness Month, and this would be the third time I write something that is related to the subject. While some of you may find this article rather disturbing because of the contents, I strongly feel that this is rather important, as most women all around the world are infected with HIV virus simply because they had unprotected sex with their partner. Let’s take note that most women wanted to be protected.

Women want their man to use condom while having sexual intercourse for various reason- they want to avoid unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, and not to mention that they want to be protected against STD and the mother of all STD horror, HIV infections. However, not all women are lucky to be protected by men, because sometimes men are such blokes who simply refused to wear a condom during sexual intercourse. Some men would give up their arms not to wear condom during their sexual intercourse. They give lame excuse not to wear one. Among the famous excuses are:

  • I don’t know how to use one.
  • It’s too expensive.
  • Wouldn’t it be a waste? Wear and throw…
  • I’m ashamed to go and buy one.
  • No feelings when use the condom during sexual intercourse.
  • It turns me off.
  • It makes my dick itch.
  • I’m your husband! Why should I wear one? Foolish woman!

So when a young blogger friend of mine, Arc asked me if there’s such thing as a femdom, I had to laugh at his lack of knowledge. But after a moment, I stopped laughing, and felt as if I’ve been hit by a huge truck. I realized, that this is not a laughing matter. Arc is probably not the only man around who doesn’t know what is femdom, or female condom is. Hell, a lot of people do not know that female condoms even exists. And I was aghast to suddenly realized that it’s not only the men who are not aware of it’s existence, but women of all age, races and religion probably do not know that female condom even exists, because it’s not as commercialized as the regular condoms that is meant for men’s usage during sexual intercourse.

So, as a woman, I feel obligated to write about female condoms. At least, as a woman, I did a small part to inform other women that they can actually protect themselves during sexual intercourse if their man refused to use protection. With female condoms, it’s not just up to the man to protect the women in questions, but the women can now protect themselves with such device.

For those who is not familiar with female condom, female condoms are actually a sheath or pouch about 17 cm in length. At each end there is a flexible ring. At the closed end of the sheath, the flexible ring is inserted into the vagina to hold the female condom in place. At the other open end of the sheath, the ring stays outside the vulva at the entrance to the vagina. This ring acts as a guide during penetration and it also stops the sheath bunching up inside the vagina.

For those who do not know how a female condom looks like, it looks like the pictures below:

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2650

It looks like a regular male condom, isn’t it? These devices have been available in Europe since 1992 and was approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1993. It is available in many countries, at least in limited quantities, throughout the world. In Malaysia, it’s available discretely in leading pharmacies. All you have to do it request to buy it, or if it’s not available, you can order beforehand before making your purchase.Women should practice putting it in and removing the condom correctly before using it it for first time during sexual intercourse. Some women may feel uncomfortable using for the first few times. Research indicate that most women may need to use female condoms at least 2-3 times before feeling completely at ease using the device.

Women who are new to female condoms should try to insert the device several times, and each time with the body in a different position- lying down, crouching, sitting or even with one leg up to find the most comfortable position she’s comfortable with to insert the device into her vagina.

It is important to note that the penis should be guided into the centre of female condom and not between the vaginal wall and the outer side of Female Condom.

I will demonstrate how to use a female condom in later part of my article. If the penis does not enter correctly, the man should withdraw his penis and the couple should start over.

Actually, female condoms comes with pre-lubricated with a silicone-based, non-spermicidal lubricant. This lubrication helps assist in the insertion of the device and allows easy movement during intercourse. The lubricant may make female condoms little slippery or oily at first. If the outer ring of female condom gets pushed in or pulled out of the vagina, more lubricant may be needed. Also, if female condom makes noise during sex, simply add more lubricant. Female condom can be used with both water-based and oil-based lubricants, whereas male latex condoms should only be used with water-based lubricants.

Like the male condoms, female condoms are meant to be a one time usage protection device. WHO recommends use of a new male or female condom for every act of intercourse, where there is a risk of unintended pregnancy and/or STI/HIV infection.

Recognizing the urgent need for risk-reduction strategies for women who cannot or do not access new condoms, WHO has developed a draft protocol for the safe handling and preparation of used Female condoms intended for re-use.

WHO does not recommend or promote re-use, but will make available the protocol, together with guidelines on programmatic issues, to programme managers who intend to evaluate its feasibility and application in local settings. WHO’s Information Update on re-use is available on-line. Google it.
Some men and women may be an initial negative reaction to female condoms, because of its size, and the way it looks but this feeling diminishes with use. It is useful to compare female condoms to an unrolled male condom to highlight that female condoms is the same length but wider than the male condom.

Female condoms provides added protection because the base of the penis and the external female genitalia are partly covered during use. Female condoms have advantages. It have the diameter, and men can’t complain about the the female condoms constricting their penis the way the male condoms does.

Now, below is the diagram on how female condoms should be inserted into the vagina and how it should be used:

female_condom_-_how_to_use_1

First of all, open the package carefully by tearing the notch on the top right of the package. Do not use scissors or a knife to open, as it may damage the female condom in the package.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_2

The picture above shows the inner and outer ring of the female condom. The outer ring covers the area around the opening of the vagina. The inner ring is used for insertion and to help hold the sheath in place during intercourse.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_32

While holding the Female condom at the closed end, grasp the flexible inner ring and squeeze it with the thumb and second or middle finger so it becomes long and narrow.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_41

Choose a position that is comfortable for insertion – squatting, raising one leg, sitting or lying down. The condoms are usually properly lubricated for easy insertion.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_5

Gently insert the inner ring into the vagina. Feel the inner ring go up and move into place by using fingers.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_6

Place, the index finger on the inside of the condom, and push the inner ring up as far as it will go. Make sure the sheath is not twisted. The outer ring should remain on the outside of the vagina.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_7

When you’re confident that female condom is correctly in place, it’s ready to be used with your partner for sexual intercourse.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_8

When you are ready, carefully guide your partner’s penis into the condom’s opening with your hand to make sure that it enters properly. And make sure that the penis is not entering on the side, between the sheath and the vaginal wall.

Ladies and gentlemen, female condoms does not need to be removed immediately after a man’s ejaculation, like the male condom. But it should be taken out before the woman stands up to avoid the semen spilling out.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_9

To remove the female condom, twist the outer ring and gently pull the condom out. The outer ring should be twisted properly to seal the condom so that no semen comes out.

female_condom_-_how_to_use_10

To dispose, wrap the condom in the package or in tissue, and throw it in the rubbish bin. Do take note that female condoms are like male condoms, it’s not meant to be disposed and flushed down the toilet bowl.

To help you get a better picture on how to use the female condom, here’s a video on it. Click HERE to watch it.

Actually, there’s a lot of advantage of using female condoms. Firstly, if your bloke of a man refused to wear one, then you can use it, then the bloody guy have no excuse not to use protection. Despite of the chauvinistic stereotype thinking that men are supposed to protect women during sexual intercourse, women too have shared responsibility as far as sex is concern. Women are responsible to protect themselves and their partner too. Female condoms are very much like male condoms in functionality. It protects against STD and AIDS if used correctly.

Female condoms are made of polyurethane and nitrile, which are less likely to cause an allergic reaction than latex. These materials can be used with oil-based as well as water-based lubricants. No special storage requirements are needed because polyurethane and nitrile are not affected by changes in temperature and dampness. In addition, these materials are thin and conduct heat well, so sensation is preserved.

There’s another interesting fact about female condoms. It can be inserted into vagina up to 6-8 hours before sexual intercourse, so, women, yes, you can actually put it in your vagina before having sex. And men will have no excuse to say that the insertion process would turn him off of disrupt the mood.

WHO and UNAIDS are encouraging wider access to the female condom as a method of preventing both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Many governments and non-governmental organisations provide female condoms for free or at subsidised prices as part of their HIV prevention and family planning programmes. So, women, do not feel afraid to use female condom to protect yourself and your partner. Being safe during sexual intercourse is your rights, not a privilege.

Safe sex is important. There’s no compromise about it. And for those who have been following my blog long enough would know that I support safe sex and whatever that protect women in general. A couple of months ago, I did coverage for G0ssip event. Gossip is back now. It’ll be in Penang. Those who are interested to join the educational and fun event, can go to their site to check it out.

Go Away” the phrase used to symbolise a stop on domestic violence, a phrase that encourages the society to shun from violence by taking appropriate measures. “Go Safe” promotes safe sex, a practice that can prevent unwanted pregnancies and diseases. The “Go Celebrate” phrase is a celebration of life itself, a measure we so often forge.


Cleffairy: Better be safe than sorry, as prevention is always better than cure.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Current Issue

When men do it, when women do it…

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Now, ladies and gentleman, this is what I call news. Take a look at it:

Harian Metro reported that a 35-year-old man became a victim of polygamy after his Indonesian-born wife took another husband. Mat Kila Sapiai claimed he only recently found out that his 39-year-old wife, who had been pressuring him for a divorce, had married a 52-year-old man in Indonesia in March last year. Mat Kila said he did not suspect anything was amiss until his wife started to pressure him for a divorce.The sordid details emerged only after he confronted his wife’s “second husband”, who showed him their marriage certificate issued by an Indonesian authority in Riau. The couple has two children, a 16-year-old son and a 12-year-old girl. Mat Kila lodged a police report at the Tampoi police station last Saturday.

Now, that’s news. Men practices polygamy all the time. It doesn’t matter if they are a Muslim or not. I know of a few men who practices polygamy even though they are non-Muslim. I am not sure if it’s legal or not in Malaysia, but yes, such things do exist, til this very day, and I can vouch for that. Men plays a fool with women all the time, and keep blasted mistress in various hotel closets and went on kinky sexual position on bed with and without their wife’s knowledge. Wives who knows of their sexual tirade are expected to keep their mouth shut and behave like a wimping puppy in need of feed before their oh so mighty husbands.

Some wives are only wife by name and name only. And some husbands takes no heed of their wives’s physical and mental needs. What’s worst, when the wife asked for divorce, they refused to divorce the wife as it’ll be huge blow to their ego and their bloody manhood. And the woman have no choice but to remain married to her husband just because in Malaysia and among Muslim community, divorce do not come easy, especially if the one who is requesting for divorce is the woman.

For Muslim women, the bloody Syariah Court will go great length to counsel the wife to rethink of her decision because they obviously think that the woman in question is a fool with cotton and wool for brain for even asking for divorce. In some cases, it can take up more than 10 years for a Muslim woman to be granted divorce, even though her husband have been neglecting her and no longer live under the same roof with her and her children.

Typical bastards, I must say. But what can I can say, Syariah Court are made by men, and the laws are compiled by men, and so, of course it’s pretty normal if the Syariah Court gives men more advantage rather than women. Why should men protect womenfolk, anyway? Some only think that women is only useful in the kitchen, in bed, and in the toilet. I heard this words not only once, but a few times, spoken by typical men who I’d love very much to castrate and toss their wrinkly balls into a rubbish bin, where it belongs.

Yes, folks, such thing like polygamy happens all the time, so, when I read this particular news, I really had to laugh. All these while I’ve been hearing and reading stories about women whose husband practices polygamy, and she have no choice but to accept and suffer his decision. And now, even though I know that it’s illegal for a woman to have more than one husband, I really have to say, that I am pleased to see such news. Finally there’s a woman who show us that if men can do it, then she can too.

I have this message to bastards who have the cheek to practice polygamy and keeping mistress everywhere: Men, why must you cry foul when your wife have second husband kept somewhere? You men take not only one extra wife, but up to three extra wives all the time. Is it not time that women learn from your kinky behavior? We women are stupid, no? We can be fooled easily, lied to easily, but do remember, women do not have wool for brain, and so, sometimes, we are capable of learning and copying your dastard behavior.

If you assholes do not teach us and show us what is polygamy, then such thing would not even come across our minds. MEN! You are the one who taught us what is polygamy! So why are you complaining now? It doesn’t matter if it’s legal or not, but YOU TAUGHT US all these! If men do not practice polygamy and taught us the meaning of it, we, will not know of it.

So, when men do it, women are expected to shut up. But when women do it, men should be told to shut up as well and accept it, should they not? Yours truly do not condone infidelity as well as polygamy. I believe in monogamy and devotion to our other half. However, I find that piece of news amusing. Since men take a couple of extra wife all the time, why are they making so much noise when a woman take just one extra husband? Men are victim of polygamy practiced by women, and women are never a victim of polygamy practiced by men?  Now this is amusing!

Cleffairy: Men and women are expected of differently in the eyes of the society, however, women are also human, and as human, we women have rights like men too. But of course, we already lack of human rights in Malaysia to even begin with.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Current Issue

Of modern parents, children and upbringing…

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I’m seriously considering to stop taking breakfast at the regular cafe that I patronized almost every morning before I go to work, as I could not stop myself from observing my surrounding and feels bad about certain things that I see. I’ve lost track of how many articles that was inspired during my breakfast session. The previous one was about an old lady who had been sent away to live in an old folks homes. And today, again, I saw things that displease me.

I was starting to get irritated when my usual cuppa tea and half boil eggs with toasts came rather late, but instead of getting up to remind the waitress who took my order to get me my breakfast, my attention was diverted to another table nearby that’s occupied by four individuals. An elderly woman, a young man and his wife as well as their baby-age probably less than three month, as the baby still haven’t start teething yet.

So a family of four was having breakfast. Nothing wrong with the picture to me, until the baby let out a very loud wail, and instantly, the mother of the child allowed the baby to be snatched away from her arms to be cradled by the grandmother, who seems anxious about the grandchild, cooing to the baby all the way until the child’s wail were subsided into muffled sobs.

I heard the old lady spoke in Cantonese, chiding to her son in law and daughter, saying that she have been right in insisting that she took care of the baby, seeing how clueless the parents are in childcare. I was immediately aghast with her words. For a moment, I wondered if I heard correctly. Apparently, my ears did not fail me. I did heard correctly. The elder woman did say that the parents of the child are not good parents, and is not qualified to take care of their own baby. Okay, fine, that’s none of my business. But as I watched a while longer over my almost forgotten breakfast, I noticed another thing, which is the parents hardly give any attention at all to the baby, as if they do not care of the baby’s cries for attention or needs. They simply allowed the grandmother to handle everything and made no attempt to interfere at all.

Then after a moment, the parents stood up, bidding the elderly woman goodbye and tell her that they will come to visit her and their baby in a week or two, and to pick the baby for an immunization to be done in Johore. Apparently, the couple is living in Johore and had somehow left their child to live with the grandmother. Even at the mention of immunization, the elder woman was rather reluctant to allow the parents to bring her grandchild away from her. So she had insisted that they bring her along. The couple agreed instantly and rushed away, not even kissing or hugging their baby goodbye. The child remained in the grandmother’s protective clutches.

A question came to my mind. Is this the right thing to do? To allow your parents to raise your child for you in your hometown while you go and work elsewhere, and only see your child one week once or fortnightly once? Is it a trend that I am missing that young parents with career these days do not get involve much in bringing up their children?

All the dirty job was left to either the grandparents, nanny, babysitters or even child day care and nurseries. Majority of working parents opt the easy way out of the parenting job by handing it over to others. They do not get involve with the feeding, what more changing diapers or teaching their children proper manners and etiquette. The parents definitely missed out the time the child’s first tooth started to grow, the first words, the first crawl or even first few steps taken by the child while learning to walk. The parents would missed all of the beautiful things that happened during their child’s growing up process.

I had known that somehow it’s been a norm in some families to let the grandparents raise the young ones, but I definitely had not known that they played very little part in their children’s upbringing- most only contributed money to the ones who are taking care of their child where their child’s well being is concern. So is parenting these days is about sending your child to your parents or your in laws to be taken care of, and you only contributed money so that your child will be fed and well clothed?

Who is the real parents here, you or your parents? I could not understand modern women these days, they wanted to become mother, willing to let the stomach be bloated like some hot air balloon and go through labor pain but not willing to take care or involved much in raising their own child. Hell some mothers do not even know how to take care of their children properly and spoil their children like hell when they finally take their children to live with them again, probably at the age of five or six, where all the awkward times during childhood had passed. Disciplining the child is definitely out of question.

Again, my question here is, why bother giving birth to your child just to satisfy your own maternal need and to stop your biological clock from tick-tocking and drives you insane? Why bother, when all you did after the child’s birth, you parceled your child away to be taken care by your old folks and you only see your kid once in a while? Don’t give me the bullshits about being too busy with work. You ought to know when you decided to have a baby that the responsibility of raising a child is huge and sacrifices in time and career is required of you. So why send your child away to be taken care of? Even animals are more involved in raising their young than modern people these days.

Call me old fashion, but I come from a family where my father and mother took care of me themselves since I was a wailing infant to this very day, though I’m all grown up, married and all. There’s not a day in my parent’s life that they left me to be taken care by both of my grandparents, maternal and paternal alike. My own grandparents are strictly grandparents, how they should be, where my parents would bring me to visit them once in a while so that my grandparents would dote one me and then they would bring me back with them and raise me with their very bare hands. I definitely do not mistake my grandmother for being my mother when I was younger like children these days do.

And yes, before you ask me about my childhood, my father did clean up my poop and I even pee on his head while he’s sleeping him when I was a baby(this is one bloody story my dad would tell people over and over again when he talked about raising children to this very damn day, pretty embarrassing for me)- he even bathe me when I was barely three days old, I have loads of my naked pictures to prove that. Squealing and wriggling in my father arms while he bathe me while my mother looked on very anxiously. And yes, my mother did get her fair share of my tantrums when I refused to eat vegetable that she sneaked in my porridge. My parents did not allow my grandparents to even interferre in my upbringing, and I was their firstborn, no less. They had no experience in handling babies whatsoever when they had me, and yet, they do not throw me to my grandparents to be taken care of like modern parents these days.

I doubt most of modern parents these days share the same experience as my parents. They are barely parents, to even begin with. More like an ATM machine rather than parents, I must say.


Cleffairy: As parents, do play important role in your children’s upbringing as parents. Please do not just be an ATM machine to them.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts, Movies/ Entertainment, Mythology/ History

May I have this dance? Waltz with me?

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I was pissed off earlier with the news where a bloody police head discourage people from singing national anthem in his statement. It’s depressing for me to think that there are people who think that national anthem should not be respected and be sang freely by Malaysian citizens, but I am feeling rather romantic at the moment though I have no idea what’s so romantic about not being able to sleep and still awake at 5am. November is a bit of hell for me with the Nano thingie going on. So, bitching aside, and romantic stuff comes to mind.

I was thinking about a particular dance as I wrote for one of my NaNoWriMo chapter scene, which is waltz. So, I’m letting my mood rule for a while as I take a short break from writing dangerously.

For those who’s wishing to romance their partner or spouse, here’s how to waltz. A courtesy of a friend of mine, whom I know from an online game. Tango would be spicier and more sexy, however, Tango is more complicated, I could not Tango even if my life is at stake. Attempting any other dances would make me feel like I have two left feet. Waltz is fine, though. I used to dance with my husband, but these days we simply could not find time to do so. *growl*

WALTZ

123 Left Closed Change
123 456 Natural Turn
123 Right Closed Change
123 456 Reverse Turn
123 Whisk
12&3 Chasse from Promenade Position
123 Natural Turn
456 Natural Spin Turn
456 Reverse Turn

Waltz : Box Basic

Practice making a anti-clockwise box by doing A and B alternately :-

A1 Step forward on left foot.
Rest weight on left foot.
A2 Bring right foot under the right hip and push out to the right side and
stand at shoulder apart. The foot makes a curve L-movement.
Rest weight on right foot.
A3 Draw left foot closer to the right foot.
Rest weight on left foot.

B1 Step backwards on right foot.
Rest weight on right foot.
B2 Bring left foot under the left hip and push out the the left side and
stand at shoulder apart. The foot makes a curve L-movement.
Rest weight on left foot.
B3 Draw right foot closer to the left foot.
Rest weight on right foot.

Practice making a clockwise box by doing C and D alternately :-

C1 Step forward on right foot.
Rest weight on right foot.
C2 Bring left foot under the left hip and push out the the left side and
stand at shoulder apart. The foot makes a curve L-movement.
Rest weight on left foot.
C3 Draw right foot closer to the left foot.
Rest weight on right foot.

D1 Step backwards with left foot.
Rest weight on left foot.
D2 Bring right foot under the right hip and push out to the right side and
stand at shoulder apart. The foot makes a curve L-movement.
Rest weight on right foot.
D3 Draw left foot closer to the right foot.
Rest weight on left foot.

Practice making a anti-clockwise box by doing A and B alternately.
Practice making a clockwise box by doing C and D alternately.

Practice moving continuously forward by doing A and C alternately.
Practice moving continuously backward by doing B and D alternately.

To get a clear picture of what I’m talking about, see the video below

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFAGFyRYyHY]

Ladies and gentlemen, Waltz originates from Austria.In Austria, peasant dances to every now and then in their free times. The pheasants called the dance as ‘landlers’, and it existed as far back as the Middle Ages. They were popular at weddings, christenings, and folk festivals. The landler is still popular as a folk dance in many sections of Austria and neighboring countries.

Enter the French Revolution, the elaborate dance styles of the French court had dominated all of Europe. At the end of the French Revolution,Austria became one of the focal point of European musical and literary culture as interest in ther native dances, music and culture increased, and the landler moved from the rural areas the drawing rooms of the elite, where it underwent considerable refinement and polishing. The name was changed to walzer, which means or signify gliding.

Not much later, the name is changed into waltz.The waltz was the first dance to use the intimate position for an extended period of time during the dance, and because of this it was subjected to severe criticism and condemnation by the church authorities back then. In many areas, the waltz was banned from public ballrooms for many years.

As time passed by, the popularity of waltz overcame the protest and it’s now accepted in many countries as a formal ballroom dance. And so, my precious readers, that’s just about it about waltz. If you know anymore history about waltz, do drop a line for me.I really would love to know.

😀

Cleffairy:Here’s a poem for you, ladies and gentlemen:

Stars shine brilliantly in the night,

So take her hand and dance with delight,

Stay true to to your heart,

So that you won’t be torn apart.

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

Will you stand by a cheating man/woman?

28 Comments

As of late, yours truly is kinda bored out of her head and has been lurking in a gossip site known as KennySai, featuring all dirty little secret about Kenny Sia’s sex scandal. I read it to pass my time over a cuppa tea or crackers, and the contents are usually purely for your own amusement, something that you would read just to kill time. It was never thought provoking until one fine day, I came across this question, which is ‘Will you stand by a cheating man?’. It’s a question that’s very close to home, and rather disturbing, I must say.

Mr. Kenny Sai may not directed the question to me, but I really feel like writing about it. Yes, that’s something to ponder about, isn’t it? Can you actually stand by a man who cheats on you with another women repeatedly?

You love the man, stayed unconditioanally devoted to him and yet he betrayed your trust by conveniently doing hanky panky things behind your back with other women over and over again. He flirt with other women,sleep with her, and as the consequences, he contracted some STD or even worst, AIDS and to add salt to the open wound, you get infected too, just because you are his long term bedmate and trusted him enough not to use any form of protection during your sexual intercourse.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just a fling or a serious relationship. He’s still considered being unfaithful to you. Ignorance is bliss, but when the cat is out of the bag, how do you actually react? You will get upset, of course, that is normal, but can you actually stand by him and forgive him for what he has done, forget and move on while telling yourself that your man is just human and human make mistakes? Can you honestly still trust him after what he has done? And most importantly, can you sincerely forgive him and move on with the relationship as if nothing has happened, or will you get very pissed off beyond forgiving and pack up your luggage and leave after kicking his ass for fooling around?

I have to ponder on that question. It’s not an easy question to answer, though there’s only two choice, which is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. Why is it not an easy question for me? Well, dear readers, while it is very easy for a woman who is not married to leave the man who is unfaithful to her but I think that it’s not easy for women who have extra baggage (like children) to bring along when she leaves the man who’s unfaithful to her. When a husband cheats on his wife and his wife finds out, and no matter how upset she is, she still have her children to consider.

What will happen to her children when she leaves him? Will there be a painfully long court session fighting over the children’s custody and terms of divorce? If you decided to leave, how will it affect your children’s mentality? They will definitely be affected, especially if they are young. Young children sometimes would blame themselves for their parent’s separation, and wives who are usually motherly would consider her children’s well being first than her personal issues. It is definitely not easy for a married woman to ask for a divorce and leave her husband when she finds out that he’s having extra-marital affair. She have a lot to consider.

We’ve seen many women who chooses to stand by her man, even though it’s proven to the world that her husband is a bastard who had sex on his office table with his secretary or frequent a hotel with his ‘personal’ friend to have sex. Yes, ladies and gentleman. You’re guessing it right. I am talking about Hillary Clinton standing by her husband Bill Clinton and our dear Mrs. Chua Soi Lek. They are both woman who have quite a recognition in the society through her husband’s public recognition. One is a president’s wife while another is a politician’s wife. They are both strong women in the eyes of the public and yet why did they choose to stand by their husband and swallow all of their hurt by standing by their man through the heartbreaking time of their marriage?

I had answered Mr. Kenny Sai in his comment page on whether or not I will stand by my cheating husband. My answer was like stated below:

=.= more anons…. hmm… if that’s a question directed to me, Mr. Kenny Sai, my answer is an absolute no. I will not tolerate a cheating man what more stand by a man who treats me like an absolute fool. I am a married woman,and let’s say misfortune befalls me and my husbands two-timed me and I happens to find out, I won’t keep quiet about it either. Be it whether I have children or not. Does it make me a lesser woman or a terrible mother if I choose not to stay with a man who cheats on me while I am completely devoted to him? Even if I choose to ‘stand’ by the man who cheated on me, that would not be because I want to support the ‘mistakes’ that he conveniently made, but it would be cause Iwould want a revenge. My husband better not cheat on me, or he’ll be even sorry that he’s born to this world.

My response was like stated above because it’s an honest answer that first came across my mind. I really could not and would not possibly stand by a cheating husband. I would be hurt and scarred beyond forgiving and I will choose not to be a fool and forgive his sins, and moved on as if nothing had happened between us. It’s definitely not possible for me, but thinking back, the greatest revenge for a married woman towards a cheating husband would be standing by him and let his guilt and conscience eat him inside out.

I would be capable of raising my child(children) on my own, and can very well keep their father out of their life, but another great revenge is to tell their father’s sin to them, make them learn to be devoted to their future spouse through their father’s conveniently made mistakes. An effective lesson to my children on the expanse of my mentality. If I choose to stand by him if my husband cheated on me, there would be resentment on what has happened and our relationship would never be the same as before, but on second thought, it would be a greater revenge to whoever that wants our relationship to be broken to see that we are still together.

Somehow, I could understand the two women’s decision to stand by their husband. I would do the same, given the circumstances. If it’s just my boyfriend who cheated on him, he might as well go to hell when I find out that he cheated on me. If it’s just a boyfriend, I know I can do better by looking for another better man who is faithful and make him mine. And when I have a better man, showing off to my ex would be my great accomplishment. If it’s just a boyfriend, I would just easily walk away, but if it’s my husband who cheated on me, I would give him a second chance to redeem himself after considering about what we had together. It would be very easy for me to leave a cheating husband who is also abusive, but I can’t say the same about leaving a husband who is a good father and did not mistreat me and never even hurt a single strand of my hair before. I would have to consider and reflect on our relationship then.

So, as to answer the question, will I stand by a cheating man? My answer would be yes for the first offense, but there would not be another second chance after that. If I caught my husband cheating on me for the first time, I would forgive but not forget and would expect him to redeem himself and repent and hope that through his mistakes, it would make our marriage grow stronger. I would not want my marriage to be destroyed just because I am not strong enough to give him and our relationship a second chance, but if I caught him cheating on me one more time, that would be another different story. That would be declaring war with me.

So if my husband is reading this, I hope he knows that I love him and our child/ children enough to give him a second chance if he ‘conveniently’ makes mistakes, but do not trample my trust and betray me for a second time. That would be beyond forgiving then.

I have a question for all of you over here, would you stand by your cheating spouse or your boyfriend/girlfriend? I have given mine, and I would like to hear your honest answer. A woman, a wife would be able to forgive her husband’s infidelity given some certain circumstances and some carefully thought consideration, but can a man forgive his wife’s infidelity? Would he forgive his wife’s sin or would he leave without giving anything a second thought?

Cleffairy: Infidelity could harm many things. Your marriage, your physical/ mental health and your children would be at stake.


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