A Penny For Your Thoughts, Cleffy's Pillow Talk

There’s no accident or coincidence, only reasons.

8 Comments

I don’t believe in accidents or coincidence. I believe that things happened for a reason, especially if it is bad things. If bad things happened to me a few years back, I might not be able to see it as a blessing in disguise. I would cry foul and point finger to the sky and blame God for being unfair and not listening to my prayers, but now, I can see that things happened for a reason, and God never answer your prayers at your convenience, but at His when the time is truly right.

He is the epitome of mercy and justice. He will give you justice, and it’s just the matter of time before he showed it to you. All you have to do is be patient and take everything in life as His will and learn to listen to Him follow His plans.

You see, I did not believe in Him back then… or rather, I felt that He no longer love me and I was not worthy of His love, and therefore, He was no longer with me. But as time goes by, I could see that God is always with me. It was me who was not with Him. And he was trying hard to get me back into His arms by showing me things that I could not see through the things that’s going on in my life. He loved me, and that is why bad things happened: to show me truth, and how the world is really like.

I’ve been working very hard lately. I took extra projects and whatnot so that I could save for the rainy day. But out of the sudden, my netbook died on me. Well, it did not exactly died on me, but it was not chargeable when I plugged it to the adapter. Consequently, I could not do work. I wanted to cry as there was dateline to be met and the workload was practically piling. But I took a deep breath, say a prayer, and took it as a blessing.

I was thinking that surely something good could come out for this. God must have known that I’ve been working too hard, and since I refused to take a rest, he made me take a rest by making my netbook ‘rest’. And so, taking it as a sign from Him, I shut it down, turned away from the table, and took a good rest by relaxing and spending time with my family.

I was amazed, really. My husband not only did not scowl at me for messing up the netbook or made me feel bad, but he comforted me instead and told me not to worry as he’ll set up a desktop for me to use temporarily until he figured out what’s wrong with my netbook.

I appreciates this very much cuz he’s extremely busy and shouldn’t be disturbed right now as he’s supposed to take another round of exam next week. I did not wish to disrupt his concentration, but he assured me that it’s all right and even promised me that if it can’t be repaired, he’ll buy me a new one (and in respond, I told him I’ll pay half). I was really touched. To others, this may be nothing, but to me, this is alot, especially when it cost my husband precious studying time and possibly, money too.

And so, my husband set-up another PC for me to use, which is operating under different operating system that I am not exactly familiar with: FreeBSD- A Unix based operating system. (My netbook was running on Ubuntu Netbook Remix). I fiddled around with it and I learned to use one more operating system. This is good, isn’t it? If my netbook did not died on me that day, I wouldn’t have bothered to learn to use something else besides  Mac, Windows and Ubuntu. Because of this, I’ve broadened my horizon a little bit in the field of computing and Open Source.

And because my netbook was not chargeable and there was no power going through it, and I couldn’t possibly continue doing my work. And because of it, I was forced to put work aside and just relax and reminded myself that I ought to backup my netbook regularly in case of such thing happens again.

My husband  took some time to unwind too and spent…. ahemm… quality time with me. I suppose the boy enjoyed it too, considering the mummy is not completely glued to the PC or forcing him to sit beside her and practice his writing as she do her own work and is able to bring him out for a stroll and eating out.

Anyway, at the end of the day, we went to the shop and get them to service the netbook for us (since it’s a branded netbook and couldn’t be ‘dissect’ or the warranty would be void), and we were told that the adapter conked out, and therefore, the netbook couldn’t be turned on and the battery was not chargeable.

We paid for a new adapter, and I was singing praises for Him deep inside cuz we not only do not need to buy a new netbook, but we get to spend quality time together. It’s been a long time since I feel this way and I am forever grateful to Him for making me stop working for a day and enjoy what life and people around me had to offer. Now that I’ feel much more relaxed and after a really fun break from work, I can now work much in a much more efficient manner since my mind and body is refreshed.

This little glitch made me feel closer to Him too. It made me think of practicing Sabbath. Hmm. I wonder if I could accomplish that?

On a much more romantic note, I feel much more connected to my husband since he started studying again. I am sure this is His doing too. God does work in mysterious way, does he not?

Cleffairy: There’s no accident or coincidence, only reasons. You just have to learn to open your eyes and see the reasons.

ps: Thank you for the new adapter and the new mouse.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts

God will provide…

6 Comments

There’s been quite a few changes in my life lately. Alot things happened and made me ponder and reflect. Seriously speaking, I’m struggling a little bit where money is concerned, especially when the old junk car is constantly giving me problems and my husband is studying again.

But that does not really bothers me much because I believe that God will provide. I am sure He will. I have faith in Him that he will not make me endure more than I could. It’s not blind faith, mind you. My husband and I have been working very hard too, and so, I believe, God will bless our family and provide for us and make things easy for us soon.

Cleffairy: Dear Father in Heaven, please make things easier for us and guide us all the way.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Current Issue

Find the way, for it is not His fault…

6 Comments

WARNING: Ramblings ahead. Read at your own risk and with open mind.

It’s been a very, very long time since I last expressed my opinions on the things that’s going on in the world, isn’t it? I daresay that most of my new readers are not even aware that I can be rather opinionated when it comes to commenting about the current issues.

I’ve mellowed a little bit over the years, I guess. I no longer feel the desperate need to blast everyone and everything every goddamn day. I have come to learn to take the world as it is instead of how I want it to be (well, not everything, but still, I learned to accept the world as it it enough to keep me from having high blood pressure).

It’s not that I no longer care about the happenings in the world, but it’s just that sometimes, a lot of things are out of my power and my jurisdiction. And there is no point complaining, whining and groaning  about things that i alone cannot change. Might as well learn to adapt rather than complain, isn’t it? Everyone should learn how to solve problem instead of whining about it. I think the world would be a better place to live in if everyone do that.

It’s the year 2011, and there is so many things that’s plaguing the world right now. Disaster struck. First, New Zealand was shaken with massive Earthquake that killed so many innocent lives.

Next up is Japan. Alot of people died because of horrendous Earthquakes and tsunamis. What’s worst, Japan is now exposed to radioactive particles that can kill as well. Death toll is raising and there’s no sign of stopping anytime soon.

Cries of pain, tears of the innocents are heard from every corner of the world. The world is grieving, mourning for the unexpected loss that came out of the disasters and ultimate devastation that’s often described as ‘The Wrath of God’.

I know that everyone is shocked. It’s only natural to feel shocked and disturbed by the wrath of nature that takes away so many lives and separate so many families, but it irked me to the very core each time I come across people who ask these questions:

“What the hell is God doing?”

“Why is He doing nothing?”

“Why is He not stopping all the loss, the pain and the disaster? Is He not powerful?”

“Why is He destroying everything?”

“Does God even exists?”

Disasters like Earthquakes and tsunamis may be the act of God, but it is not fair to blame Him for every single loss that we are experiencing right now. Who are you to question Him and put every single blame on Him each time disaster struck and take the innocent lives away?

Can you seriously say that we humans are not at fault at all? Did we not destroy our own world with our own hands by building too much skyscrapers and polluting the Earth? Did we or did we not dug our all the resources and minerals down to the core of the Earth?

Sure, we justify the act of mining the resources by convincing ourselves that it will make our lives easier, but did you know that each time we go for a dig, we are actually disrupting the nature’s balance and the ecosystem? We are the ones who hurt Mother Nature, so why the hell are we complaining when Mother Nature strikes back?

Why are we humans pointing out fingers to God for doing nothing about the loss of innocent lives when we still incite each other’s anger and wrath with our own disability to put aside our differences?

Did we not build weapon of mass destruction and blast it at each other?Did we not kill each other in wars and demonstration every day? Who are we to question God when He is merely reflecting what the human are actually doing in every corner of the world; destroying each other by not settling our differences and live peacefully like the family He intended us to be?

We accused Him for taking the lives of the innocents, but the war that we created killed more innocent lives over the years. Disasters only struck every now and then, but wars? Wars and corrupted government that causes ill feelings towards each other as well as poverty happens every day. It takes more innocent lives than any major disasters combined over the years.

Human are blind. Very blind. Because despite of everything, we still failed to see what God is trying to show us and tell us. I may sound heartless and lack of compassion, but I believe, God is trying to tell us to stop hating each other. He is asking us to put our beliefs and differences aside and live in unity instead of fighting each other. He is asking us to love each other, and stop doing things that will cost each other’s lives.

We are like His children. We are His misbehaving children. We are horrible to the point we can’t even get along with each other and hurt each other for being different. I don’t believe that God is punishing us for our sins, but He is just making us get along with each other by creating all of these nasty circumstances for us to deal with. How else is He supposed to make us get along? We’re definitely a stubborn lot. We never listen to each other. All we did is argue and blast each other with destructive weapons when we failed to come to perfect agreement.

Can you not see that all the disasters has forced each and everyone of us to put our differences aside  for a moment and come to each other’s aid regardless of our political, religious beliefs as well as our skin colour?

Don’t you see that there’s a lesson to be learn from all these? God is showing the better way of life for the mankind, why can’t we see? He is sending us a message in a very almighty way, and we got to learn to listen to what He has to say instead of blindly accusing Him for every single things that’s going on in our lives.

With technological advancement, we have become arrogant and boastful. We forget that there’s much more powerful being up there because we’re all busy playing God. We forget to be humble. The rich are becoming richer and more corrupted, while the poor are becoming poorer. We only mix and mingle around with people who are of our own stature.We discriminate.

Well,another thing to be learned from all these, isn’t it? We are still human, and when the wrath of nature is upon us, nothing could stop it from harming us, no matter how advanced and hi-tech we are. We are still destructible, despite of everything.

We are not God, and in the midst of destruction, we are reminded that everyone is still human and still the same. We are not that high and mighty after all. When we’re hurt, we bleed, and we still cry out for for people to help us. When disaster strike, we learn the lesson of being humble and humility, for everyone can still be equal even though different in many ways.

God is being blamed for the death of innocent infants and children, but did we or did we not killed our children first through abortions? What difference does it make, really? All these while we’ve been killing the innocent, unborn children non-stop, without repentance. We even have countries that legalized abortions, even. Is it not the same? Deaths are still involved. Just differently.

Now… now is not the time to point our fingers to God. Stop blaming Him when we too are at fault in many ways. We are not sin free. God is showing us and making us see more clearly of what we have actually done with the world and ourselves, so please, open your eyes. Put our differences aside and help each other through this tough times. Encourage each other, comfort each other, offer prayers, offer hope, and aid each other in any ways we can, for in the time of destruction, there is no use going around blaming each other or God.

What we need to do now is not blame anything, but work towards healing and restoration. We need to stop living a destructive lives. Stop the war, stop the killing for being different because in truth, we’re all the same. We should stop trying to create our future by tainting our hands with each other’s blood and put our differences aside in order to create our future… together.

Cleffairy: (Genesis 3) Then God say “Behold, the people have become like Us. Knowing both good and evil. Now, if they also eat the fruit from The Tree of Life, they will live forever.”

Therefore, the people were punished and banished from the Garden of Eden for eating the Forbidden fruit.

Now…what is it human are looking for by destroying each other and trampling each other in wars these days? To retrieve the ‘garden’ that they lost long ago and can never take back? We cannot turn back time and undo the original sins, but we can make effort to live peacefully in the new garden that we create with our own hands if we want to.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Down The Memory Lane, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot, writing

In vino veritas…

9 Comments

In vino veritas, in aqua sanitas. It’s a famous Latin saying which carries the meaning, in wine, there’s truth, in water, there’s health. I find it rather befitting in many events on of my life, considering that sometimes, when people had alcohol… they tend to blurt truth… though I see that as the disgusting by-product of alcohol.

I hate people who chooses alcohol when they’re depressed, because I am not the kind who prefer to indulge in the substance that’s known by science to be a depressant. I’d hate to be known as an alcoholic. I have no problems with people who take them occasionally to celebrate certain things or for a nightcap, though.

Many may not know this, but alcohols are actually depressant, though some may confuse it with an anti-depressant as it tends to lower one’s inhabitation when taken, and one feels that they could actually do anything after having some alcohol in their system…some people blurt out terrible truth after taking alcohol… while some, do weird, unmentionable things. In vino veritas indeed, for perhaps…wine or alcoholic drinks brings out the ‘you’ that you’re trying to suppress unconsciously.

In aqua sanitas…in water, there’s health. I have always believe in that, considering that our beloved Earth is 80% covered by water and our bodies are made of 80% fluids…. if I actually get my biology facts right.

Anyway… I’m straying… as I said, in aqua sanitas… I have always believed that water have a magical power to somewhat ‘heal’ one’s soul… it’s soothing, calming and comforting…and instead of just lowering your inhabitation like wine and many other alcoholic products, it freezes time, and free me from my worries.

You see… when I’m worried… when I’m depressed, when I’m lost… I would often take a very long hot shower…or go for a swim, and I’d feel that I’m closer to Him, because of the comfort it gives me.

When I am surrounded by wind… and water altogether… I couldn’t help but think… God, how mighty You are…You actually gave us health by surrounding us with air and water. You kept us alive by surrounding us with air and water. It’s abundant, but nobody seems to care enough about them to give thanks for the blessing, because despite of it’s importance…nobody would missed it until it’s gone.

One could live without many things around them…but could one live without water and air? Would one be healthy without air to fill their lungs and water to sustain their bodily fluids? The answer is no…  you wouldn’t even be breathing without air… nor will you stand on your two feet without your body being properly hydrated to sustain your biological system…and yet, I don’t see many people giving thanks for that, and therefore… today, Lord, I want to thank You for surrounding me with health… for keeping me alive… for allowing me to still breathe with precious air, and keeping my body function well with the water you provide…and thank you, for still keeping me alive and let me see how blessed I am to still be alive and surrounded by people who showed me kindness, people who cares for me, and loves me dearly.


Cleffairy: We are so small… so human…so…imperfect…so ungrateful… that we did not realized that when certain things are taken away from us…we are nothing. We are nothing without His ‘gifts’ for us.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts

I’m thinking of you…

16 Comments

I was feeling a bit sulky last night and I got irritated pretty easily. Must be the damn hormones wreaking havoc in my body again. (No… I’m not pregnant… not that I know of) Either that, or it’s simply the nasty weather that gets under my skin.

God have a very funny way of reminding of things and cheering me up, though. When I went out with my husband for some supper, I saw these at the hawker’s stalls.

It says:

Have you joined the facebook of Sarawak Kampua Noodles? (Good grief, now I’ve seen everything…what else is not on FB?)

And this…

Pete’s Kitchen.

Did you know what I thought of? The moment I saw these… I was instantly cheered up… cuz I thought of STP and Pete.

The Kampua noodles  stall reminds me of STP who is constantly luring people to Sibu, Sarawak to visit him and try all of those well famed Sarawakian delicacies such as Kampua Noodles.

You see, I wasn’t really feeling at the top of the world when I was browsing around for supper… but the very second I saw this, I remembered STP’s advice where one should live one day at a time, and take the world as it is, instead of how I want it to be. (Re: Serenity Prayer.) I was soothed then.

And then, the second stall really reminds me of Pete, a foodie blogger whom I have been friends with for 2 years. It made wonder if Pete has opened up a stall and did not inform us fellow bloggers for the fear of being raided? LOL…Hmm… Pete… is this your stall? LOL… aww… come on, tell us… these days… I do food review for free, you know? All you need to do is just feed me, and I will review for you. FOC. ROFLOL!

Cleffairy: God have a very special way of telling me that I am not alone, no matter where I go. When I’m feeling down, He sent me signs everywhere… just to let me know that He is around, and all I need to do is just talk to Him, because He is listening, and everything will be all right again.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Book review, Down The Memory Lane, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

Captured by Grace

2 Comments

Feeling low in spirit as of late, and desperately needing a superhero, a savior to rescue me and tell me that everything will be all right, I was captivated and mesmerized by this beautiful book by Dr. David Jeremiah.

Entitled: Captured by Grace

And with the subtitle that caught my heart… No One is Beyond the Reach of a Loving God. The first time I saw this book, I knew that I must have this book.

This whole book is an absolute comfort and encouragement to the believer in many ways.

The underlying theme of this book is grace but once you read this book you will “see” much more of God’s love for you and that He provided the gift of grace so that you might have a rich and true life in Him, and to be captured by His grace.

The author points out that we are saved by grace through the selfless acts of Jesus our savior and we are filled by the Holy Spirit and become an entity ,a sacred temple of the Spirit of God.

Sometimes we all lost the purpose of life, we find that our world is shattering and the whole world is against us. And we find it hard to continue going on. If you struggle with your life or have an inner crisis this is a great book to call upon our hero, God, and be captured by His grace and believe once more, that whatever happens…He shall take care of us without fail, in His own majestic way, beyond human comprehension.

For the first time, this is a 5 star, spiritual read for me. Food for the soul. Absolutely recommended for those who are in low in spirit, and in need of comfort from up above, and those who need to believe again.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Booksneeze bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review and therefore, the book review is 100% my own opinion.

Cleffairy: Count it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith develops patience. But let patience have its’ perfect work, that you might be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Down The Memory Lane, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

Unreachable…ephemeral

12 Comments

A lot of things in life is unreachable and ephemeral. A lot of things come and go, and nothing lasts forever. Bad things may not last. Good things may not last either. But it is good that some things will be with you til you breathe your last: The Eternal Father. As long as you have an unwavering faith, that is, and He will be with you, guiding you throughout the thorny path in life.

Whatever you decide to call Him… as long as you believe in Him, He will be your hero and show you truth, nothing but the truth. You may not understand what I’m talking about, but you will know what I’m mumbling about when you let Him into your heart and allow Him to be your Knight in Shining Armour. No heroes is greater than Him.

Enough delirious words. This entry is to thank my elder sister, who gave me the greatest book of all time and a rosary. 😀 All all the books she gave me, I treasured this one the most, for it reminded me of my Hero and my saviour; the keeper of my soul.

Beautifully bound and in fiery red.

Thick, with markers and ribbons for fast reference.

Rosary for prayers and meditation.

Thank you, for the gift that reminds me that my Hero will always be with me. I’ve been reading them before I sleep, and they do keep my nightmares away.

Cleffairy: Life is harsh on the heart of a girl. And a woman. In every fairy tales, every story, every life, there is a villain. The story and fairy tales of life is the story of a long and sustained assault on one’s body and soul. But in every story there is a Hero, a saviour that will save you from the villains and what you fear. Praise Him. My Hero and saviour. One who shall not leave me for as long as I have faith in Him.

Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

When I couldn’t sleep…

36 Comments

It’s been months…months since I had recurring nightmares. It faded for a while, but the peacefulness of the night sleep that I’ve been getting for a week or two did not last, and I keep getting nightmares again, and this explains why I’m awake at 3:53am Malaysian time, sitting in front of the PC, trying to forget the vivid dreams that’s been visiting me. It’s the same old dreams, and though it is not that scary anymore, it still disturbs me greatly.

It seems that the ‘Evil One’ refused to let me have peace, even when I’m asleep. I am not quite sure why I’ve been getting those horrid nightmares over and over again. It seems that ‘someone’ is trying to send me a message and is unhappy when I am at peace with myself and feeling contented.

But God is with me…I have faith that he will protect me from the ‘Evil One’. These days, when I woke up, feeling agitated because of those dreams where my loved ones betrayed me, I prayed, and prayed hard, though it did not help me to sleep, but it helped to calm me and made me see, that those horrid nightmares actually had a theme, which is ‘it’ wants me to give up what I have now instead of persevere.

Well, though the whole world might be against me, He will always be with me, and that will remain unchanged until the end of time. Am I not blessed… to be able to realize His eternal love for me when I am still young? Things could be worst, and I could have ended up like those people who decided to shut Him out of their life.

Ladies and gentlemen, you may not understand my ramblings, but it is all right. I am here not to ramble much. I am here just to share a little something… something for you to ponder on.

.

I asked God to take away my bad habits.

God said, No.

It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.

God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

.

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;it isn’t granted, it is learned.

.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

.

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.

God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

.

I finally understood, that when God says no to me each time I asked Him something, it is not because He doesn’t care for me, but it is because he is smarter, and definitely knows better. After all, I am just human, and God works in mysterious ways.

I have learned how to be more at peace with myself, and my journey is still very long. While some pray for my safety and happiness, there are some others who wants me out of the picture, and tries very hard to ruin my happiness. I am completely aware of that, and I want to say here that I know about all of your evil intentions, for you couldn’t be more obvious. It doesn’t matter what you do, I no longer fear you, for God is with me, and I’ll have you know that I have a hurricane in me that will destroy you if you dare to harm what I’ve fought so hard to protect.

One could work with the demons and sell their soul to the devil just because they want others to suffer, but by the end of the day, God will give me justice, and he shall protect me, in his own ways.


Cleffairy: God is my strength, my eternal guiding light. He stands with in the sunshine, and calms me through the stormy nights.

The Lord is my strength,
My eternal guiding light.
He stands with me in the sunshine,
Calms me through the stormy nights.
Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Down The Memory Lane, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

Giving thanks

28 Comments

Initially, I wanted to write about this last night, but I arrived home rather late, and I was so exhausted that I dropped dead as soon as I arrived home. The day itself overwhelms me. There is nothing like a good working stress to keep my head from delving into thinking and mourning about those things that I cannot change. Work, as usual, is something that I can handle, but not those bloody emotional stress.

I wanted to give thanks to God. Praise him, for filling my day with joy and unexpected surprises. First there was a guardian angel who sent me present in the form of beautiful clothes….for both the ET and Alien. LOL.

The guardian angel wishes to remain anonymous, so I’m not going to mention the angel’s name over here. LOL… Anyway, thank you very much for everything. 😀 It certainly brighten up my day, especially the ahemm… ‘mourning garment’. It is so, very thoughtful of you, my darling. I certainly will use it wisely. LMAO. Guess you’re now my partner in crime, eh, sweetie?

Look at what this God’s angel sent to me…

One bulky package on my doorstep.

Double wrapped the pressie for me to build up the joy of anticipation…

Three cutie t-shirts…

And one cool, dark coloured shirt for me to scare people with. *grinZ*

Anyway, receiving the package makes me feel that God is blessing me, and encouraging me to open up my heart to Him and the others, and persevere in the world where evil reigns over goodness most of the times.

All my life…I’ve always been the one who give and give non stop, up to the point that I felt that I have nothing left to give, and so, when I’ve been placed on the receiving end, I feel so touched and grateful.

The people in my life, people that I gave things to, never really did appreciate what I gave them, or even be grateful for my efforts. Instead, they asked for more, and I almost stopped believing that the world can actually give back something, until recently where I’ve been overwhelmed with God’s blessing in the form of good friends who are generous and thoughtful…the people whom I actually never even gave anything yet. Yes, it does feel good to be on the receiving end. It makes me feel warm and well loved.

Yesterday, my blessing did not stop just there. As there was an unexpected surprise visit from people whom I love dearly. And also a surprise phone call from my best friend. All of these things makes me so happy. I felt that my day was filled with blessings, even though I have unresolved issues in my closet.

I used to think that the whole world is against me and God doesn’t love me, for He keep punishing me with the hardship of life. Little did my human mind know, that those things that happened to me are actually blessings and His way to tell me the truth about life.

His way to knock on my doors the way I’ve been desperately knocking on His. It is His way of telling me that nothing last forever.The good and the bad… nothing ever last forever, and I am worthy of His love, though I don’t know what I have done to deserve it. Thank you God, for not giving up on me when I actually gave up on You. Thank you for being patient with me.

Cleffairy: Sometimes, I feel sad for those who couldn’t feel grateful for what they have and often take things for granted and keep asking for more, for they wouldn’t be able to understand that being able to wake up from sleep every day itself if a blessing. Not many are privileged enough  for that.


Continue Reading

A Penny For Your Thoughts, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot

When God makes your life a blockbuster movie…

30 Comments

As an author, I believe that God spent a lot of his time plotting my life and making high quality scripts for me. He must have saw it fit to give me a life that has a plot of a blockbuster movie. You must be wondering why I’m saying all this. It is simple, my precious ones, my life, it’s far cry from normal.

It’s more like a roller coaster ride, or rather, a stormy sea in which I’m in the danger of drowning if I do not sail and navigate with great care. I’ve always wanted a normal, peaceful life, but, He wants my life to be very interesting. I used to resent that. All I ever want is a normal life, with love and serenity in a package.But I no longer resent it.

God must have wanted to inspire me through my own very life, and making me lead a life that resembles somewhat a blockbuster and a thriller movie, where I have a secret identity and constantly fighting the bad guys in the forms of people around me. In many ways… my life resembles a chess game where I struggle to protect myself from being eliminated and consumed by the people around me, even my loved ones. Depressing? Well, that’s the lemon of my life, something I embrace with my whole being right this moment.

Last years… God decided to spice up my life a little bit by lighting up a torch for me in order to let me see the truth about my life, and the people around me. Being human, I had no idea that He was enlightening me. I blamed Him for every single thing that happened, and I feel as if I’m being punished for the things I haven’t even done.

My human eyes were not powerful enough to let me see His revelations. Naturally, my beliefs for Him flew out of the window and beyond. I told myself… He does not exists, because He was not making my life better nor comfort me. I felt alone, and darkness began to consume me, inch by inch.

Things gets more and more worst by the day, and last November was the month of turbulence for me. I felt betrayed and hurt beyond redemption.

God decided to rescue me from darkness by giving me many pointers and hints along the way, and I began to realize that every single thing that I was forced to endure, happened for a reason. The reason is simple. It is for me to see clearly. To show me…to knock senses into my almost malfunctioned brain.

God showed me, that my life is full of hypocrites. Nobody could be trusted wholeheartedly, especially those whom I thought I can trust my life with. God showed me, that I am not always important in someone’s heart.

God showed me, that I shall not always be protected, for in the eyes of the human, I am like a speck of dust. I can be dismissed with a mere gust of wind, and they would not feel a single thing about it. Yes…God revealed to me so many things, and I am very thankful that he finally bestowed me the wisdom to unravel His revelations.

God is great. Praise Him, for he showed me that in truth, my life is full of ungrateful people who forgets their roots when they are rich and successful, and nothing lasts forever. God showed me, that my life is full of Pagan whores who worships demons and drink contaminated blood in delight and pure enjoyments.

He made me see that people in my life… doesn’t believe in Him, and therefore, they cannot count their blessing and nothing is ever enough for them, and instead of being thankful for what they have and cherish whatever that’s bestowed upon them, they greedily ask for more.

They will never be grateful or feel blessed, because they did not allow God to be in their hearts and let the demons rule their heart and minds instead. Instead of taking life as a blessing in itself… they blame everyone for everything except for themselves, and they demand people to tolerate their wants and ways, as if they own the world and everything has to revolves around nothing but them, and only them.

Those people… they are shortsighted. They only think of temporary, worldly enjoyment rather than looking on how to live life in the long run and being responsible for the lifestyle they chose.

Those are the people in my life…those I should be aware of… those who will walk away from me when I needed them most, and those who cannot wait to drink my blood and delight in it. It is a small comfort to know that God is with me, and as long as I seek protection from Him and have faith, nothing could ever harm me.

It saddens me that sometimes, the people that I love could not understand the concept of blessing and gratefulness and scorn people who are God fearing. They have absolute disrespect towards other’s way of life and beliefs, and yet, they demand people to respect and honour theirs. they are the kind of people who only wants to take and never give.

My life may resembles of those superheroes movies where I constantly need to battle the monsters around me, but in truth, I am powerless. I am powerless against the greed and the flaws of humanity.

I could do nothing to change it or force people to repent and be grateful for their blessings. The best thing I can do is pray and hope that one day, God will bless them and grace them with His presence.


Cleffairy: God, please grant me serenity for the things I cannot change. Please, give me peace and I pray for wisdom. Protect me, and shield me, for there are evil and demons who tries to harm me and drink my blood and delight in my pain.

ps: When God makes your life a blockbuster movie, then live like a movie star.

Continue Reading