The temptation is too great too resist. I couldn’t help it. After seeing two evil beings, Pontianak and Hantu Bungkuswrite up about their sinful indulgence where they had apom balik (crispy Malay pancakes), I knew I’m done for, and I must have some of my own.
Unfortunately for me though, I couldn’t find any apom balik and I was about to give up on my search when I saw this when I was having a date with my husband in Wangsa Walk, Wangsa Maju:
Hot&Roll… can you guess what they’re selling?
All sort of chappatis and roti canai rolls with fillings inside….nice….those savoury ones are promos… I decided to settle on their crispy, nutty rolls instead…it’s something like apom balik. 😛 Well, beggars can’t be choosers…I must have something that’s similar to apom balik if I can’t have the real stuff.
See… the batter… waiting for the fillings.
The guy was spreading peanut butter onto my modern apom balik.
Then he placed some crushed, crunchy peanuts onto it.
And the sinful, chocolate chips…imagine that melting in your mouth, along with the crunchy peanuts and the crispy skin. WOW!
Then the guy folded it…
And this is how it looks like after being folded.
Taste-wise? Very nice, with the crunchy, sugary peanuts and the melting chocolate chips mingling in my tongue. I still prefer the original, traditional apom balik though. 😀
I’ve always love fried tumeric squids, or locally, known as sotong goreng kunyit. My mum used to make them for me when I was a little girl, and I could eat them with plain rice over and over again.
Allow me to share the recipe with you. Sorry for the blurred picture though. I don’t quite give a damn about pictures and presentation. As long as the stuff is edible… Plus, my family was hungry, and I forgot to turn on the lights.
LOL…I assure you, the thing is not poisonous. LOL… I’ve been cooking this stuff ever since I was 10. 😛
Ingredients:
200-300 grams of squids, cleaned and cut
Shallots
Tumeric powder
Long beans
Salt
Some cooking oil
Here’s how you do it:
Mix tumeric powder with the squids that has been cleaned and cut in a bowl. Add some salt, and leave it aside for 5 minutes. Cut up some long beans and shallots.
I love thee in the morning, when the doves have yet to wake,
I love thee in the night, when everyone is dreaming,
You sooth my aching soul,
And grace me with your inspiration
I love thee with a passion of a hungry lover,
Who always want thee in a sweet embrace,
To have and to hold,
In this life, and forever in the next.
A sonnet by Cleffairy
And what in the name of the benovelent God I’m talking about this time? Why, I was talking about my tea, of course. What else could it be? *naughty grinz* How do you love, your favourite drinks, folks? Is your love and passion towards your food or drinks as as great as mine? LOL…
Anyway, all I want to ask here is; what is you favourite drink? Mine is tea. I’m a tea person and can never take coffee. Coffee gives me terrible palpitations and make me sick. Literally sick and gives me discomfort.
Tea have a very relaxing effect on me. It’s like a legal drug that I take everyday, and I always make sure I have a cuppa with me when I’m writing. It calm me down and inspire me.
I always take my tea with either dried roses, peach, lemon, sugar or honey, and never with milk. Do you have a special ways in drinking your favourite drink? Care to share with me?
Cleffairy: Fine, maybe I’m not that sober right now. Not quite enough sleep. Been burning the midnight oil. The sonnet applies to my loved ones as well. LOL…
“I’m truly, madly, deeply, passionately in love with you”
I think I just died and went to heaven for a couple of minutes after hearing those words. *SIGH* I’m completely hopeless. Hurl those words to me, and I’ll buy it…well…. maybe, maybe not. Depending on who would say that to me. But if those are the words spoken in the movies, hooooyeahhhh, I’ll definitely melt into a puddle of goo and beyond.
Who would have thought? That the fiery, lunatic fairy who rant and rave most of the time have quite a heart for fluff and romantic movies? Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit. I’m a romance author and IÂ married my first love, so get a clue already, will you? Romance authors are usually insane. Well, almost, I guess. I prefer to be known as eccentric.
Okay, most of you might be concern for my sanity by now. But fret not, I am still quite sane, and I’m talking about Letters To Juliet. Remember that movie I’ve talk about back then? I told you I was anticipating that movie like mad, and watched the trailer countless times, and this is it. I finally got to watch it online and was on cloud nine. I felt as if I’m in love again watching such a lighthearted summer romance movie.
I could have went and watch with my husband in the cinema if I want to. After all, it was released in Malaysia on 20th May 2010. It coincide with our 8th anniversary, but then again, I was too busy celebrating my real life romance to even consider going into the cinema for this movie. You know, you get the picture. The dimmed- lighted dinner in a quiet fancy restaurant… and the non-dinner in the dark. (Geez… it’s my anniversary, I don’t kiss or make out and tell, folks, so buzz off~!)
*SPOILER ALERT AHEAD, LEAVE IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS*
Letters to Juliet is about Sophie Hall. She is a fact checker at The New Yorker magazine who dreams of becoming a writer, but her boss, Bobby, does not share her dreams and ambitions.
Sophie was annoyed, of course. Who wouldn’t? Pre-honeymoon is not supposed to be that way. To add cherry on top, Victor seems to be only interested in himself and what he does, and never listens to what Sophie have to say. Most of their conversation often ended up one-sided.
And while he is out one day, Sophie went sightseeing and comes across the house where Juliet Capulet supposedly lived and watches in awe as numerous people gather to write letters to Juliet about their loves and post them on Juliet’s wall. Sophie writes of this in her journal for a few hours and sits on a bench, waiting for closing time, to see what becomes of the letters.
A young Italian woman came to collect the letters, putting them all into a straw basket, and Sophie follows her to a restaurant where the woman meets with three other women, who reveal themselves to be ‘Juliet’s secretaries’, writing back to each of the letters she had collected earlier on.
The next day, Sophie helps Isabel, one of the secretaries, take the letters. A loose brick falls, revealing a crumpled old envelope. Sophie discovers it is a 1957 letter written by Claire, an English woman who while in Italy studying art, fell in love with Lorenzo Bartolini. When he asked her to elope with him, she did not show up. Feeling terrible with her decision she wrote to ‘Juliet’ about it and Sophie writes back to Claire.
A few days later, a young Englishman arrives. Charlie then reveals that because Sophie responded his grandmother is now here to find her love. When Sophie asks to meet Claire, Charlie says no, but Sophie follows him and is introduced to Claire who is more than happy to meet the ‘Juliet’ who wrote back to her.
Together, the three decide to embark on a journey to find all the Lorenzo Bartolinis near Siena, Italy where Claire says Lorenzo always enjoyed. The three meet many Lorenzo Bartolinis, but none of them seem to be the right one.
While traveling, Sophie and the grandmother and grandson learn about each other’s lives like that Charlie has an ex-girlfriend he hasn’t seen in a year, named Patricia, with Claire learning that Sophie’s mother abandoned her when she was nine and Sophie learning that Charlie’s parents died in a car crash when he was ten. Charlie, at first rude, is now attracted to her.
The three met many men named Lorenzo Bartolini, including one who has died. Seeing his grandmother cry, Charlie blames Sophie. Claire berates her grandson and tells him about Sophie’s mother, then she visits Sophie in her hotel room and comforts her. Charlie apologizes to Sophie who has gone out and laid down on the grass next to Charlie, and they kiss under the stars.
The next day, while driving back, Claire asks that they stop at a vineyard when she notices it is the vineyard that makes their favorite wine. There, she sees a young Italian man who looks exactly like Lorenzo.
Insisting it’s him, Sophie and Charlie went and ask him for his name, which he says is indeed Lorenzo Bartolini. Deciding it must be Lorenzo’s grandson, they ask to speak to the young man’s father, whose name is also Lorenzo. The middle-aged man says his elderly father is also Lorenzo Bartolini, and he was out riding his horse.
Charlie urges his grandmother to see if it’s the right Lorenzo, but Claire decides she doesn’t want to. Just then, the elder Lorenzo and it is revealed that he is indeed Claire’s long-lost love. The two was then reunited.
Lorenzo introduces the three to his family. Later, Sophie leaves to go back to Verona to find Victor. Claire tells Charlie not to wait fifty years before he discovers there is only one girl he loves. Charlie races after her bu he saw her hugging Victor, and so he left.
Back in New York, Sophie presents a story to her boss identical to Claire’s tale, and he tells her he is going to publish it. Excited, she rushes home. The next day at work, she gets an invitation to Claire and Lorenzo’s wedding.
She then breaks up with Victor at the kitchen of his Italian restaurant because she doesn’t love him anymore and goes to the wedding. At the end of the ceremony, she attempts to talk to Charlie, but believes a woman that is with him, Patricia is his girlfriend.
She hurries away to a balcony, but Charlie follows her. Sophie professes her love but tells him to go back to Patricia, whom he explains is his cousin, and not his ex-girlfriend he mentioned earlier on. He admits he is in love with Sophie. He attempts to climb up to kiss her like Romeo Montague but fell flat to the ground. Sophie hurries to him to check if he’s all right and they kiss.
As I’ve said… I’ve been anticipating this movie a month ago, and it was a pleasure to be able to watch the full movie, and I’d rate it 4 out of 5. If you like Harlequin Romance or Silhouette or even Mills and Boon, you’ll absolutely adore this. It’s almost 100% Harlequin-ish and Silhouette-ish, minus the hot and steamy sex scene, that is. The movie is rated PG-13.
And considering I’ve always have the hots for European men with accentuated British accent, this movie is something to die for, so I give this flick, a few thumbs up.
Cleffairy: I didn’t know love had an expiry date. I didn’t think they ever expired…
I was in a fairly romantic mood the other day and was busy trying to concoct some love potion again when I saw Coke Chicken Recipe in Garfield and Pete’s blog.
I decided to tweak the recipe abit so that it’ll be much simpler for me, and this is how I do it:
Ingredients
1/2 chicken, cleaned and cut
Coke
2 tea spoon of salt
2 tablespoon of light soya sauce
Water
First of all, put the chicken pieces into the pot, pour water til it covers the chicken and simmer it for 15 minutes.
When the chicken is half cooked, pour away the water, and replace it with Coke.Add in the salt and light soya sauce.
Simmer on slow fire for about 30-45 minutes til the Coke caramelized. Take out and serve while piping hot. Good to eat on it’s own.
Yield 3 servings.
Cleffairy: Coke chicken is so easy to cook. I wonder why it’s so expensive in those Chinese restaurants.
Women, as aging sets in, begin to experience a prominent drop in sex drive. This is largely due to a decline in the female hormones estrogen and also… testosterone.
Other factors that undermine female desire include childbirth, the onset of menopause, stress, depression, relationship conflicts, fatigue, poor self-image, and inability to reach screaming orgasm.
Men, when they hit certain age, would have to worry about Erectile Dysfunction as well, and this would affect their performance in bed and the desires to have sexual intercourse would decrease. But then again, usually men does not have to worry about ED and low sex drive til they hit 50s.
With the right attitude… and the right food, libido in men and women could be increase.
Here’s some sex food for thoughts:
Celery
While celery may not be the first food that comes to mind when you’re thinking sex, it can be a fantastic source food for sexual stimulation. This is because it contains androsterone, an odorless hormone released through male perspiration and turns women on.
How to enjoy this aphrodisiac : Celery is best eaten raw. Wash and cut some, and munch away. But if you hate to eat it raw, make chicken soup out of it, serve with Bloody Mary or even take it with some mayonnaise or tartar sauce.
Raw oysters
This is one of the classic aphrodisiacs. Oysters are high in zinc, which raises sperm and testosterone production. Oysters also contain dopamine, a hormone known to increase libido. And it’s undeniable that the experience of slurping a fresh raw oyster is rather erotic.
Try to squeeze it into your foreplay. Feed your spouse and have him/her feed you. The slippery taste sensation and the mere act of slurping on it should get you both in the mood.
How to enjoy this aphrodisiac: Scrub the shells thoroughly to get any dirt or bacteria off. Pry them open and place them on a bed of ice, squeeze some fresh lemon onto them if you like, and then start slurping away sexily.
Bananas
Bananas contain the bromelain enzyme, which is believed to increase libido and reverse impotence in men. Additionally, they are good sources of potassium and B vitamins like riboflavin, which increase the body’s overall energy levels.
How to enjoy this aphrodisiac: Place them on a dish in various states of undressing and have your lady slowly eat some for you. Then gobble yours down and get to work. Or, you can make some fried fritters out of them, or make them into desserts like banana split. Be sure to be generous with the chocolate sauce and ice cream, though. Chocolates are aphrodisiac as well.
Almonds
Almonds are a prime source of essential fatty acids. These are vital as they provide the raw material for a man’s healthy production of hormones. Additionally, the smell of almonds is purported to arouse passion in females. Try lighting some almond-scented candles to encourage her mood and snack on some yourself to store up energy for your performance.
How to enjoy this aphrodisiac: Eat them raw. Or, crush some fresh almonds and sprinkle them on your salad to get the energy you need. Or better still, get yourself a honeyed almond biscotti. Personally, I would have suggested finely pounded almond with milk and honey, but some people can’t take it too sweet, so if you don’t like to take sweet stuff, stick it to just plain almond.
Chocolate
Aside from the fact that chocolate is the surest way to a woman’s panties, chocolate contains theobromine, an alkaloid,which is very similar to caffeine.
It also contains phenylethylamine, a chemical believed to produce the feel good feeling.
So, when your woman talks about how good chocolate makes her feel, there is some scientific explanation behind it. In addition, dark chocolate has a massive amount of anti-oxidants, which are great for the body in general, as they help maintain the immune system.
How to enjoy this aphrodisic: No exact way. Just be creative. Squeeze some chocolate sauce onto your partner’s body and lick it away for all I care. Just be creative.
Eggs
Although not the most sensual of foods, eggs are high in vitamins B6 and B5. These help balance hormone levels and fight stress, two things that are crucial to a healthy libido. Eggs are also a symbol of fertility and rebirth. Some people will eat raw chicken eggs just prior to sex to increase libido and maximize energy levels.
How to enjoy this aphrodisiac: Have some caviar and a bit of champagne during your fun or gobble down some hard-boiled eggs beforehand. Or if you’re feeling romantic, you could make french toast for breakfast in bed.
And last but not least…
Mangoes, peaches and strawberries
What can be more fun than sinking your teeth into a dripping, sticky and honeyed fruits? All of the fruits listed above are erotically suggestive and can be fun to use amidst foreplay. Try dribbling the juices over your bodies and licking up the residue as an erotic game.
How to enjoy this aphrodisiac: Peel the mango, cut the peach and slice up some strawberries, and feed your partner while having oral sex.
Cleffairy: Why not have food and sex together? It’ll make a yummy making love session.
I was really lucky, that my parents doesn’t have any Munchausen Syndrome or Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy or, else, I would have been dead by now. They’re completely normal parents who never want any sort of attention through their sick children, and my sister and I were always in their prayers each time we got sick. They always ask God to grant us perfect health, but God saw it fit to test their patience and endurance by making me a sickly child when I was growing up.
My father, he used to tell me stories of miracles. Of a girl who was sick, but she fights off the sickness in her by using her mind to control the functions of her body-some sort of commanding mechanism to direct the body to be healthy with the help of medications. She used her brain to fights off the infections and whatnot and in no time, she would recover from her illness.
I could still remember my dad’s encouraging words each time I fell ill. He said, it’s all in the mind. He said, if you think you’re sick, then you will be sick, and if you think you’re healthy, you will feel as healthy as a horse, and I find his words were quite true. Positive thinking and the right attitude in tacking certain illness is crucial in the process of recovery or recuperation. It’s all in the head. the brain is the most powerful organ in the body. It can do many things, and all we need to do is just use it.
I had growing pains. I had asthma and my heart have a loose valve while the bronchial in my lungs is prone to infections. I have chronic bronchitis, they say, but I will be fine as long as I don’t have a fever as fever will make the immune system go weak and the bronchial will be prone to infections.
I outgrew asthma, but the heart problems and the bronchial problems remains til this very day, and on and off I would go for check up to see if there’s anything wrong with me or not.
Ever since I was I child, I was quite fascinated in the field of medicine. Studying the human body became some sort of obsession as I go in and out of the hospital most of the time for treatment.
I grew up knowing my medical rights and the medical terms. Doctors, usually will not have a problem explaining procedures and the ways of the medicines to me, as I made sure I understand the explanation given before I stepped out of the consultation room. I do those stuff without failed and I will do my homework about it too.
I was willful, and fiery, even as a child, and I never let my parents take control of what I think or do. And unlike most parents, they will not protect me from such knowledge. To them, it is best that I know my conditions and understand it well. That way, I will know the best way to live and to limit myself when it comes to sports.
I was sick, yes, but I never ask for sympathies from the people around me. Really sick people never do that. It is quite a norm that sick people would hide their illness from their peers as they never want to be treated differently. I was no different.
I wanted to be normal, and tried to live life to the fullest. I lived each day as if there’s no tomorrow, and that explains why I played football with boys or go fishing after school. I learned how to horseback riding, I go for archery and many more things. And I never let my illness control me or restrict my ambitions though I will put a little limit on myself when it comes to physical activities.
I controlled my illness instead of letting it control me, and medical terms did not disheartened or scares me. It inspired me instead. I was inspired to be a doctor. I always think that to be a good doctor, one ought to be a patient before. By being a patient, you’d be able to understand how a human body works and how patients feel.
However, God have other plans for me. My calling is not medicine or healing, but writing instead. He saw it fit to let me be a journalist and a writer as He knew that I’m a pretty squeamish person and could not stand the sight of a dead body. Show me a dead body being postmortem and I’ll puke on the spot.
I am truly grateful to God that he blessed me with health these days, and I no longer get hospitalized as often as when I was just a little girl. In fact, besides those regular fever I had, I feel very good most of the times, and I don’t have to be dependent on medication anymore. It is a blessing indeed. The prayers must have worked, a few years late. And I would like to thank my parents, and God for that. :D,
I don’t think I could stand it anymore if I were to be asked to fast for at least 12 hours after minor/major surgical procedures in my adult years. It would have been unbearably annoying-not being able to eat for many hours. And I don’t think I could tolerate being sedated each and every time after a major surgery. I hate the feelings of being weak and prodded here and there by medical officers on duty.
Did you know that after a major surgery, they would not let you eat or drink for at least a day? They’ll put intravenous drip (IV Drips) on you instead, and it’s not a very pleasant experience.
Thirsty?
They will wet your lips with cotton balls but they DEFINITELY WILL NOT allow you to eat soup or porridge within 24 hours of your operation, no matter how you whine, beg or even demand for it.
It’s much more worst if it’s an open chest operation. You’d lie down there like some dead body, motionless til all drugs were gone from your system. And if you think lying down is horrible, think again. When the drugs wears off, it’ll feel like a truck had just run over you and you’d be begging for more drugs instead.
Operation, especially open chest surgeries are very delicate. You’d be confined to your hospital ward for at least one or two weeks before you’ll be discharged. The nurse will prod you with needles while you’re asleep, and they would monitor your condition closely, and your progress would be charted every 3 hours. Charting is usually done by RN (resident nurse)… the taking of BP, temperature, etc etc and doctors will be called for consultation if they think there’s something that’s not right with you.
Discharging within 3-4 days after a major surgery is unheard of. I never encounter such cases before. I know of a man who had his heart bypass done, and he was hospitalized for more than one month for it. And he was even required to do physical therapy with his therapist. (Some people could not walk properly after a heart bypass…it’s related to the vein that they cut out from the leg or something).
I am quite… familiar with the procedures done in the hospital, especially if it involves the cardiovascular part. I get to experience it first hand. I truly wonder if there are any changes in that department these days, where you will be able to be conscious within 3 hours of a major operation or you won’t be sedated within 12 hours of the operation. I wonder if they will allow you to eat after just a few hours after certain procedures is done and I wonder if you will be discharged without qualms as soon as you told your doctor in charge of your case that you’re fine.
As far as I’m concern…there’s still no such thing, and I am truly lucky that I don’t have to find out whether things in the hospital has been taken to a more painless level, as for what it’s worth…. it’s still done in the conventional way. The painful way.
Lately, a friend has been hospitalized and had some major surgery done. She was unconscious for a couple of times, and must be going through those things that I described above as she’s sick to her very core.
And I could do nothing but pray for her. 🙁 I just hope she will be all right and concentrate on getting well.Other things can wait. My prayers is with her, and those who are fighting for their lives in the hospital.
My prayers is with you, and God bless you and your family.
Cleffairy: Sometimes, it’s all in the head. Fight it.The story that my father told me back then, ought to be told to all patients in the world. In many ways, brain is not only a weapon, but a very powerful kind of medicine.
I’m not a great cook, but I do have some tricks up my sleeves. Most of my readers would probably know by now that I was the child of the sea. I grew up by the seaside, and therefore, I’m used to chasing crustacean and digging for crustaceans like flower crabs from their holes in the sand so that I could catch them and bring them back for my mum to cook for dinner.
I can no longer catch crabs from their holes in the sand as I’m living in a concrete jungle now, but I certainly can buy them from the market to cook.
One fine day when I was doing groceries, I saw some fresh crabs, and deciding that it’s been ages since my family and I had some crabs, I bought them and made chilli crabs out of them.
It is a misconception that chilli crab is hard to cook. It’s actually quite simple to cook and that is why it costs a bomb in the restaurants.
Trust me chilli crabs is not that hard to cook, and if I can cook it, you can too, cuz I am no chef. I only cook simple, quickie stuff.
Here’s my own recipe of chilli crab:
Ingredients:
4 big/medium sized flower crab
Tumeric powder
1/2 cup of water
Some cooking oil
Sauce ingredient
3 spoonful of chopped garlic
3 spoonful of boh chilli paste/chilli sauce of any brand
2 spoonful of oyster sauce
3 spoonful of light soya sauce
5 spoonful of tomato sauce
Here’s how you do it. Pretty simple, actually. First of all, peel off the crab’s shell, and wash the crabs til it’s clean. Cut it into half if you prefer, and marinade it with tumeric powder for 5 minutes before frying them lightly in your wok/pan.
When the crab is half cooked, take it out from the wok, put it aside and drain all excess oil from it and prepare the sauce.
Stir the crabs abit so that the sauce fully coated the crabs, and close the wok with a cover for 10-15 minutes on medium fire. You may add beaten eggs if you like, but I like my crabs spicy, so no eggs in the sauce for me.
Take out and serve with plain white rice or bread though it goes well on it’s own.
Preparation time: 30 minutes
Yield: 3 servings
Cleffairy: Are you feeling the heat yet?If you can’t take the spiciness, don’t use too much chillies.
I found this interesting article the other day after researching about attention whore and Munchausen syndrome, and it somewhat horrifies me. I never knew that there’s actually such a thing, so I thought I’d share it with all of you over here.Take a look.
Munchausen by proxy syndrome (MBPS) is a relatively uncommon condition that involves the exaggeration or fabrication of illnesses or symptoms by a primary caretaker. One of the most harmful forms of child abuse, MBPS was named after Baron von Munchausen, an 18th-century German dignitary known for telling outlandish stories.
About MBPS
In MBPS, an individual — usually a mother — deliberately makes another person (most often his or her own preschool child) sick or convinces others that the person is sick. The parent or caregiver misleads others into thinking that the child has medical problems by lying and reporting fictitious episodes. He or she may exaggerate, fabricate, or induce symptoms.As a result, doctors usually order test, try different types of medications, and may even hospitalize the child or perform surgery to determine the cause.
Typically, the perpetrator feels satisfied by gaining the attention and sympathy of doctors, nurses, and others who come into contact with him or her and the child. Some experts believe that it isn’t just the attention that’s gained from the “illness” of the child that drives this behavior, but also the satisfaction in being able to deceive individuals that they consider to be more important and powerful than themselves.
Because the parent or caregiver appears to be so caring and attentive, often no one suspects any wrongdoing. A perplexing aspect of the syndrome is the ability of the parent or caregiver to fool and manipulate doctors.Frequently, the perpetrator is familiar with the medical profession and is very good at fooling the doctors. Even the most experienced doctors can miss the meaning of the inconsistencies in the child’s symptoms. It’s not unusual for medical personnel to overlook the possibility of MBPS because it goes against the belief that a parent or caregiver would never deliberately hurt his or her child.
Children who are subjected to MBPS are typically preschool age, although there have been reported cases in kids up to 16 years old, and there are equal numbers of boys and girls. About 98% of the perpetrators are female.
Diagnosing MBPS
Diagnosis is very difficult, but would involve some of the following:
a child who has multiple medical problems that don’t respond to treatment or that follow a persistent and puzzling course
physical or laboratory findings that are highly unusual, don’t correspond with the child’s medical history, or are physically or clinically impossible
short-term symptoms that tend to stop when the perpetrator isn’t around
a parent or caregiver who isn’t reassured by “good news” when test results find no medical problems, but continues to believe that the child is ill
a parent or caregiver who appears to be medically knowledgeable or fascinated with medical details or appears to enjoy the hospital environment
a parent or caregiver who’s unusually calm in the face of serious difficulties with the child’s health
a parent or caregiver who’s highly supportive and encouraging of the doctor, or one who is angry and demands further intervention, more procedures, second opinions, or transfers to more sophisticated facilities
Causes of MBPS
In some cases, the parents or caregivers themselves were abused, both physically and sexually, as children. They may have come from families in which being sick was a way to get love. The parent’s or caregiver’s own personal needs overcome his or her ability to see the child as a person with feelings and rights, possibly because the parent or caregiver may have grown up being treated like he or she wasn’t a person with rights or feelings.
Other theories say that Munchausen by proxy syndrome is a cry for help on the part of the parent or caregiver, who may be experiencing anxiety or depression or have feelings of inadequacy as a parent or caregiver of a young child. Some may feel a sense of acknowledgement when the doctor confirms their caregiving skills. Or, the parent or caregiver may just enjoy the attention that the sick child — and, therefore, he or she — gets.
The suspected person may also have symptoms similar to the child’s own medical problems or an illness history that’s puzzling and unusual. He or she frequently has an emotionally distant relationship with a spouse, who often fails to visit the seriously ill child or have contact with doctors.
What Happens to the Child?
In the most severe instances, parents or caregivers with MBPS may go to great lengths to make their children sick. When cameras were placed in some children’s hospital rooms, some perpetrators were filmed switching medications, injecting kids with urine to cause an infection, or placing drops of blood in urine specimens.
Some perpetrators aggravate an existing problem, such as manipulating a wound so that it doesn’t heal. One parent discovered that scrubbing the child’s skin with oven cleaner would cause a baffling, long-lasting rash.
Whatever the course, the child’s symptoms — whether created or faked — don’t happen when the parent isn’t present, and they usually go away during periods of separation from the parent. When confronted, the parent usually denies knowing how the illness occurred.
According to experts, common conditions and symptoms that are created or faked by parents or caregivers with MBPS include: failure to thrive, allergies, asthma, vomiting, diarrhea, seizures, and infections.
The long-term prognosis for these children depends on the degree of damage created by the perpetrator and the amount of time it takes to recognize and diagnose MBPS. Some extreme cases have been reported in which children developed destructive skeletal changes, limps, mental retardation, brain damage, and blindness from symptoms caused by the parent or caregiver. Often, these children require multiple surgeries, each with the risk for future medical problems.
If the child lives to be old enough to comprehend what’s happening, the psychological damage can be significant. The child may come to feel that he or she will only be loved when ill and may, therefore, help the parent try to deceive doctors, using self-abuse to avoid being abandoned. And so, some victims of MBPS later become perpetrators themselves.
Getting Help for the Child
If Munchausen by proxy syndrome is suspected, health care providers are required by law to report their concerns. However, after a parent or caregiver is charged, the child’s symptoms may increase as the person who is accused attempts to prove the presence of the illness. If the parent or caregiver repeatedly denies the charges, the child should be removed from the home and legal action should be taken on the child’s behalf.
In some cases, the parent or caregiver may deny the charges and move to another location, only to continue the behavior. Even if the child is returned to the perpetrator’s custody while protective services are still involved, the child may continue to be a victim of abuse. For these reasons, it’s always advised that these cases be resolved quickly.
Getting Help for the Parent or Caregiver
Most often, abusive Munchausen by proxy syndrome cases are resolved in one of three ways:
the perpetrator is apprehended
the perpetrator moves on to a younger child when the original victim gets old enough to “tell”
the child dies
To get help, the parent or caregiver must admit to the abuse and seek psychological treatment. But if the perpetrator doesn’t admit to the wrongdoing, psychological treatment has little chance of remedying the situation. Psychotherapy depends on truth, and MBPS perpetrators generally live in denial.
Cleffairy: This is a very, very weird world. If parents could be harmful to a child, who else can the child trust?Let’s pray for all the children in the world. May none be born to such parent. 🙁 I think it’s a much more horrible form of abuse, cuz it’s hard to recognize… 🙁
My husband and I were craving for sourish food the other day after taking oily stuff, and so, when we came across a stall that sells pickled fruits, or locally known as jeruk, we bought these.
I wonder what you call these fruits in English. I know the sliced ones are pickled mango, but I don’t know what the rest is known as in English. I just know the local names.
The small, yellowish pickles are known as ‘cermai’ while the bigger brown fruits are ‘kelubi’. Do you know what it’s called in English? I don’t have a single clue on what they’re called in English.
All I know is that I adore these pickles. I like to eat them. They’re very appetizing. And they have sentimental value, as when I was a little girl, my grandfather used to make pickles out of these fruits.
Yes… he made them himself, and there would be huge jars of them in his house, and he would pass it to my parents as well as all his other children so that we could enjoy it.
I was quite a tomboy when I was a little girl, and learned to climb trees when I was nine, and was on par with boys my age when it comes to doing nasty stuff. Climbing trees, fishing, bathing in the sea almost daily as well as playing in the paddy field is a norm to me.
My grandparents live in Perlis, a place where is abundant with paddy fields, just like Kedah. And when there’s paddy fields, they will surely be cermai trees. I used to climb the cermai trees nearby the paddy field to gather some cermai fruits so that my grandfather could make pickles for us.
I had my fair share of getting bitten by those nasty fire ants while climbing trees and falling flat on my butt. But those things did not stop me from climbing trees again and again while I was growing up. Nasty falls and scrape on the knees are never regarded as a major health problem or major injuries.
Those were the good old days. IÂ did not even need to be afraid when I play in the village all alone, cuz all the neighbours would keep an eye on me, unlike now where everywhere is very dangerous and children cannot be let loose on their own, and parents no longer allowed their children to do such things.
Instead of frolicking around in the sun, children these days are sent to kindergarten so that they could compete with children their age as early as two years old. Sometimes, I do wonder if time took away our children’s childhood? Are we depriving them of good memories and the fun way of growing up?
Those good old days are indeed over, isn’t it? Children are no longer safe outside and we’re forced to be parents who deprived children from their share of fun in the mud, just because it’s what expected of us these days. Are you that sort of parents? Are you depriving your children of their childhood?
Cleffairy: What wouldn’t I do to give my kids the same childhood and environment that I had? For what it’s worth, it’s certainly a better childhood to experience.
