Often when we see advice about getting over a breakup, or healing a wounded heart, the advice pertains to one gender or the other. For example, guys are supposed to visit strip clubs with their buddies, and girls are expected to go have spa days with their friends. It’s all very pretentious advice; guys, when was the last time a lap dance from a paid stripper made you feel better about a breakup? And girls, do freshly painted nails really take away the hurt?

Instead of offering the same old b.s., in this article we’ll go over four real, honest ideas for how to heal the heart – or at least how to forget about your ex for a day at a time in the early going. Here we go.

Drink – At Home, With Friends

Drinking is a tricky idea. Sometimes it’s exactly the solution you need; sometimes it’s a disaster, and you wind up pouring your heart out to your aggravated ex’s voicemail (not good). But drinking at home (going out can feel like a high pressure situation right after a breakup), with friends (drinking alone is just sad, unless you’re a brooding artist who actually enjoys Maker’s Mark) can be a blast. A couple drinks in with the people who care about you and you’ll find yourself laughing instead of crying – almost guaranteed.

Do Something Irresponsible

It’s inevitable after a breakup to worry about what you might have done wrong. Instead, try to take a different approach – do something else you might consider wrong. My advice? Visit the Casino at Betfair online. This is an online casino that’s nothing but a good time, offering you the full casino experience at a single website. I’m partial to sports betting and video poker myself, but live games, slot machines, etc. can also draw your attention. And after a breakup, doing something you’d ordinarily consider bold or irresponsible – like gambling a $200 hand in poker – can be oddly liberating.

Get In Shape – Quickly

There’s a temptation to overeat following a breakup. You know – lounge around watching re-runs of cheesy TV shows and stuff your face with oreos, and whatnot. If this really helps, go for it. If not, hit the gym hard, fast and often. This isn’t about distracting yourself, or “developing positive energy,” or anything worthless like that. Rather, it’s about something most of us want but won’t admit: winning. 6 months after your breakup, you want to be able to objectively look at yourself and your ex and say, “I win.” Being in the best shape of your life isn’t everything, but it counts.

Have Sex

If it feels too personal, fine – no one’s pressuring you. But don’t get caught up in feeling dirty, needy, or anything else negative. Human beings like sex, and intimacy with someone new, with no feelings attached, gets your confidence back up and helps you to gain some perspective.

Cleffairy: We’re all responsible for our own happiness. Don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.

It was a weekend. My husband need to work again and I happened to have an event to attend. And as usual, I brought my kid along with me. It is a norm for me to attend events or invited reviews with the kid, cuz obviously I’m the only person who could handle the kid and no babysitters is trained enough to handle the behaviour of an autistic child. Can’t blame them. Even the father of the kid finds it a horrendous task to be alone with the kid for even two hours. Yes, the boy is that challenging.

Well, thank God I have no more kids and decided not to have anymore kids for good. I can’t imagine myself having to handle newborns on my own 24/7. I’m not exactly a spring chicken anymore and I’m liable to die because of stress or go insane cuz both kids and husband just drive me crazy. Such things is toxic for the body, you know? I do wish to live a bit longer and enjoy what the world have to offer.

Anyway, enough of the rambling about things that I can never change. What I want to share with all of you today is my experience of being labeled a ‘single mother with a special need child’. Yea…I kinda get that pretty often these days. I used to be offended when people asked me if I’m a single mother…you know, well-meaning people often do ask me that. Even the teachers in my son’s school asked me that cuz some of the new teachers in school never seen my husband before and it is safe to say that my husband almost never make an appearance during the day…be it report card day or school trips. You see, his work no longer allow flexibility or time off. He even have to work on weekends these days. Full time at work and part time husband and father, as they say. I used to be offended when people asked me if I’m a single mother or a divorcee, but not anymore.

I get too much of those, and these days my replies are always casual. If I’m in the mood to entertain such personal question, I will spend some time explaining that my husband is busy working and his work requires him to work even on weekends and he can’t make it to accompany us during events/lunch/dinner/etc.

If I’m feeling cheeky, I’ll just say “What do you mean the boy is my son? He’s my kid brother. My mum is having a field day at spa and I got stuck babysitting him.” I usually get away with this too. Hehehe…the kid looks old enough to pass as my kid brother. Ah…the joy of having kids early. The older they get, the more they look like your siblings.

If I am not in the mood to entertain people,however, I will just nod and say “Yes, I’m a single mum” and stupid questions will just end there. You’ll be amazed how a “Yes” to those stupid question actually stops people from asking you more and more stupid question further. Usually if I answered a “No, I’m not a single mum, my husband is working”, people will press on and ask why he has to work on weekend, or why they never see him before.  Or worst, people tend to ask me if I would be interested in having another child since my first one is a special need etc. You have no idea how tiring it is to smile and entertain stupid questions like that! Some people should just go and become a journalist and make money out of their busybody attitude.

I stopped feeling offended when people asked me if I’m a single mother. I suppose I’m older now and I can’t really give a hoot on what people thinks of my marital status. Married or not married…it is none of anyone’s business, don’t you think? After all, I don’t think I’m alone in this department. There are loads of women out there who live their lives like a widow or a single mother because they are entrusted to take care of their kids on their own while their husbands goes outstation and stuff and only meet once a month or something. I realize it is normal for women to be single when they are married. No biggie. Such things has been ongoing for God knows how long.

Cleffairy: Would love to see the day when people starts asking men if they are single fathers instead. That would be an awesome thing to see.

It’s 15 September 2013 today. Perhaps it is just another date for you, but it is not for me. Last year, this date, at about 4pm-6pm, I was shocked awake as I was shown one’s true colour.

I may not realise it then,but this date held so much significance in my life. From that date onwards, my life and my perspective on various things changed completely. I may not realise it immediately, on the spot on that very date for I was really taken aback by everything, but thinking back, if I have been trapped in the world of false security all these years, then what happened that day definitely shattered the illusion and brought me back to reality.

As painful it is to reminisce, I must jot this down. Not that I will ever forget or forgive what happened that fateful day, but this post serves as a reminder to myself, and everyone around who is in a relationship that it is a mistake to give your heart, soul and youth wholeheartedly when one could easily betray you with the act of unfaithfulness and infidelity and could easily hurt you in the worst way possible and walk away from you without a second thought.

What happened that day…is not something I want to remember, as it is a catalyst that triggers more and more heartache and misery after that… but as excruciating as it is, I am glad it happened, because for what it is worth, it taught me to keep a piece of me to myself so that I can never be hurt in the same way again, and it makes me a less dependant woman today.

I am a girl no more, and I shall never be that trusting, gullible woman ever again for I am created in His image, and therefore it makes me worthy of love and happiness. To have any less, is an insult to His glory.

Cleffairy: Do you know how it feels like to eat chappati and thosai with a broken heart? Do you know how those delicacy tasted like when you have to hold in your tears and smile for the benefit of others? I pray none of you have to find out, for the flat pastries tasted really bitter and very difficult to swallow that you can hardly breathe when you eat em with a broken heart.

I was getting really frustrated a few weeks back. It’s been a year since I moved into the house that I’m currently living and yet the entire house looks like it just survived an apocalypse.

🙁 Most of the things were still unpacked and and still inside their respective boxes, and furnitures were mostly still unassembled.

Talk about extreme procrastination on both my part and my husband’s part. My husband is always busy and have no time to help out with the boxes, furnitures and whatnot, and I figure if I were to wait for him, everything will still be in a mess after a decade. It’s not that I haven’t experienced that with him before. We’ve been together for years and he’s quite a champion in procrastinating and giving excuse not to help me out when it comes to household things. He’s always working on the weekend, going for appointments on the weekend. Either that, or he’s always tired all the time or locking himself up in his office room to online. *SIGH*

Feeling irritated and rather bitter that night that I don’t get any help at all where my son and the house is concerned, I told my son that something has to be done about it, and it’s going to need our mother-son combined effort to actually get things done. And with my son’s help, we did a major spring-cleaning and space de-cluttering. My son and I threw away a lot of useless things, especially the things that my husband insists on keeping despite the fact that the stuff are already spoiled and useless.

To be honest, I can’t really be bothered anymore about things being sentimental value or not. As far as I’m concerned, those stuff are useless and just sitting there collecting dust, and there’s no point wasting the already small space at home to accommodate them. Plus, he’s not always at home, and I think my comfort and my son’s comfort comes first. And I’m proud to say that with our combined effort, the house is now much cleaner and definitely much more habitable. 😀

I found plenty of old CDs and DVDs while were were spring-cleaning. Wonder if I can make money selling old CDs and DVDs? An evil thought came to my mind. Maybe I should sell the old CDs and DVDs online after all and make money. After all, my son and I ought to be rewarded for cleaning up the house. 😀

Cleffairy: It takes a real man to clean up the house. And my son is a real man.

How did you spend your Mother’s Day? I bet you ladies had a blast shaking your legs around while your men and your kids pamper you throughout the day. Well, good for you. Mine was nothing special. Never was and probably never will be. My kid practically lives in his own world while his father…well…his father is not my son, so not obligated to celebrate with me.

Anyway, as I said nothing special went on last Sunday, except the Domesticated Goddess in me was practically screaming and when I saw this self-service laundry shop offering free laundry, I thought I’ll just lug all my dirty clothes of over there and have them washed.

Went there with a friend and her boyfriend. We were actually quite excited about the offer and looking forward to wash all of our soiled clothes. My friend actually brought all her dirty comforters to wash too.

But when we’re ready to unload all of our dirty laundry into the washing machine, I noticed that we still need to insert coins into the slot despite of their ‘Wash Free on Mother’s Day offer’. I was flabbergasted cuz it’s supposed to be FREE. Asked the person in charge over there and he jolly well told me that the free wash is just until 2pm, and since my friend and I went there at 6pm, there will be no free wash for us.

When asked why we have to pay for it when the banner that was hung outside says there is free wash on mother’s day, the person in charged pointed to this copy of an announcement that they stick in a small corner of the shop. I wasn’t very happy about it. In fact, I feel cheated! Who wouldn’t? They placed the goddamn thing in a small corner of the room where people would most probably overlook and most will only look at the colourful banner outside and simply assume that the free offer is for 24hours . Damn it. This is pretty much misleading and I bet this shop made quite a profit that day!

I was really furious cuz I brought alot of dirty laundry with me and so does my friend. We expected a free service but ended up paying a hefty sum instead! I was really unhappy and I thought that if the shop really wanted to offer a free service, they ought to have written the timing and whatnot on the freaking banner! This is clearly cheating the consumers and obviously manipulating people into paying…cuz rationally, who would wanna lug around their dirty laundries? Most would just have it washed the clothes there, even if they have to pay for it…like my friend and I did.

I wasn’t happy. I was furious, in fact, but the sulking did not go long, I suppose…as my friend treated me to dinner afterwards. Tsk. I have to say, it’s pretty easy to make me happy. Just feed me and I’ll be all smiles.

Cleffairy: Don’t complain if your Mother’s Day did not go as you expected. At least you did not end up being bored to tears and calling up your friend to do laundry with you only to have to pay a hefty sum for it.