Once upon a time, there lived a farmer by the name of Pak Dollah. His farm was big and had variety of farm animals. There are local farm animals as well as imported ones. Majority of the farm animals were local cows while the rest are imported farm animals. One day, these animals had an argument on who is the best on the farm and who should get the greener part of the grass.

Feeling that he’s superior than other animals in the farm, one fat cow spoke up, saying cows are the best, and should get the greener part of the farm to chew on. Other animals, the sheep and chickens disagreed of course, because they felt that they are all just the same, and one day all of them will end up on the people’s plate as food once Pak Dollah decided that it’s time to sell them off to generate income for his household.

When the cow heard that other animals who are smaller in size than him saying that everyone on the farm is just the same, the cow went berserk. He was pissed that other farm animals compared his masculinity and supremacy with the small imported sheep and the chickens who lay eggs.

The cow was so angry that he shouted loudly so that the entire farm can hear what he has to say. He mooed that the rest of the animals on the farms are imported, and so, he does not need to respect them at all, and he thinks that other farm animals doesn’t even deserve to be treated so well because they are just immigrants.

The cow’s statement caused an uproar in Pak Dollah’s farm. Now the sheep and the chickens are very unhappy and angry that the cow thinks that way. So, the leader of the sheep and chickens send their representative and told the cow that they are not satisfied with what he said, and demanded him to apologize, or they will make Pak Dollah&co sell him off to be slaughtered and served as beef burger patties.

The cow, being himself, a cowheaded animal, refused to apologize, because he thinks that he is bigger and better than the rest of the animal on the farm. This is what he said,” Why should I apologize? I didn’t do anything wrong. Those who do wrong should apologize but I haven’t done anything,”

Now the sheep and chickens are in rage! The sheep refused to grow more cotton to be shaved away while the chickens refused to lay eggs. Pak Dollah’s farm is now in havoc, and the earnings in the farm has gone from bad to worst. Pak Dollah can no longer sleep in peace thinking that his farm is in havoc. And so, Pak Dollah decided to asked them why are they doing this.

So, the animals told Pak Dollah what happened. Even though Pak Dollah feel that the cow was right, he doesn’t want his farm to be in havoc further, and so, he apologize on the cow’s behalf so that everyone on the farm can be happy again. But of course, the animals are not pleased, because it was not Pak Dollah who made that statement in the first place. They want the COW to apologize for his words.

But, a cow will always be a cow. Cows will never apologize for what they said. So, children, what do you think? Was the cow right about him being better than the rest of the animals in the farm? Or was the cow wrong, because all animals in the farm has the same function, which is to help the farm grow and earn?

Cleffairy: Sing with me now…

Old Pak Dollah had a farm, e, i, e, i o,

And on his farm he had a cow, e, i, e, i, o,

The cow goes moo moo here, moo moo there, moo moo everywhere, moo, moo

Old Pak Dollah had a farm, e,i,e,i,o.

Again, yours truly is in the mood for fiery tales. This time, it’s all about Snow War and his wicked witch stepmother, the Sleepy Witch. So, here goes, children, drink your milk and get in bed while I lull you to sleep with one of a very famous fairy tale of all times.

Once upon a time, there live a not so handsome prince, Snow War. He may be not so handsome, but he’s well loved and a very powerful prince among his people in his kingdom that his stepmother, Queen Sleepy Witch gets very jealous of his popularity.

Queen Sleepy Witch is not so popular among her people because ever since the old king has passed away, she’s been doing nothing but sleep,sleep and sleep and allows her filthy son, a punk horseback racer wannabe to mess up the kingdom. After a good while, the kingdom is pretty much neglected and she finally realized that she could not afford to buy her favourite toy, the Magic Mirror from a kingdom far far away. She decided that she must raised the price of all apple in her kingdom so that she can earn more and buy herself a magnificent magic mirror for herself to look at. And so, she decided.

And so she raised the price of all apples in her kingdom by 70 gold leaves each, making all of her people hate her very much, and her people will stop at nothing to throw rotten eggs and squishy tomatoes at her and get her down from the throne, and replace her with her not so handsome stepson, Prince Snow War. People had hoped that Prince Snow War would make a difference in their declining and sinking kingdom, and Prince Snow War had given his words to the people that the very next day he sits on the throne, he will ensure the the price of apples would be dropped by 50 gold leaves so that the people can continue to enjoy baking and eating delicious apple pies every day without burning a big hole in their pocket.

The people had no chance of getting rid of the wicked queen, but one fine day, came a fairy godmother who announced that there will be a Royalty Idol, where the winner can win themselves a huge luxurious castle, complete with a harem of beautiful and skillful slave boys and girls as well as loads of fluffy pillows made from finest duck feathers and water bed for the winners to sleep on. All they need to do is sing and parade themselves on the stage every week, and earn sms votes from the citizens. The ones with highest sms votes will win the Royal Idol.

Now, both Queen Sleepy Witch and Prince Snow War are both tempted with the price the Royalty Idol had to offer, and so, they enroll themselves in the competition, giving their best shot, and luck is on their side, they both made it to final.

It’s final round, and both Queen Sleepy Witch and Prince Snow War realized that if they want to win, they must not just use their sexual appeal, because some of the sms voters are quite immune to beauty. Both wanted to win, and being the jealous and wicked witch, Queen Sleepy Witch seek advice from her Evil magic Mirror on how to win the Royal idol. The Evil Magic Mirror told the queen that if she want to win, she’ll have to play dirty. And so, the sleepyhead queen decided to listen to her evil Magic Mirror and play dirty.

The queen will stop at nothing until she win the Royal Idol, and so, she hired a court jester to spread horrible saying that Prince Snow War loves to play with people’s asshole. The court jester toured around the kingdom and scream his head off trying to convinced people that a prince who loves to play with other people’s asshole is not worth wasting a vote on during the Royalty Idol. But it seems that the people are not convinced with the rumours that the court jester is spreading, and the queen gets pretty agitated. So she sent her punk son’s people to create havoc in Prince Snow War’s weekly concert so that people will not dare to vote for Prince Snow War but no avail.

Realizing that spreading rumours about Prince Snow War and making havoc in his concerts can’t make her earn more votes, she decided to ‘bribe’ the citizens by announcing Apple Relief Plan, where she lowered the price of apples by measly 15 gold leaves 3 days before the Royal Idol competition, in hopes that she will get more votes in comparison to Prince Snow War and finally win the Royal Idol and all of it’s galore.

The queen didn’t really want to lower down the apple price, but she figured, what the heck, she can always readjust the price again during the yearly kingdom budgeting event, and it’s four days after the Royal Idol competition end. She figured that if she loose in the competition, she can always get back at the citizens for voting for Prince Snow War instead of her by raising the apple price again during the budgeting day, after all, no matter what, whether she win or loose in the Royal Idol, the throne is still hers to keep.

My advice to all of those sms voters who will need to make your decision tomorrow, please choose wisely. Our pocket is at stake. Let’s stay tune on who will win the Royal Idol tomorrow, and in the meantime, tuck in, and get a good night sleep, children. Sweet dreams.

Cleffairy: Excuse me while I go and stock up on apples so that I can continue having nice and sweet apple pies at a slightly reduced price before some wicked queen decided to make it more expensive again.

Once upon a time, there lived a Prince who was was condemned to live in exile because he was too powerful and was considered a threat to a beautiful kingdom’s administration system and image. His name was Prince AnWar. He was condemn to live in exile on one reason, which is rumoured that he loves to lure men to his bed and play with their asshole. Now, this is a shame, because Princes are supposed to have women at their feet, not men taking off their pants for him to insert his banana in other people’s ass. Many doubt the rumour as many thought that it’s just a conspiracy against Prince AnWar, and it’s just something that the current King cooked up to get rid of Prince AnWar.

Many years has passed, the old King finally gave up his throne and went to live elsewhere. His successor, a two-faced sleepyhead known as King Oh La La finally ascend the throne. Much to the former king’s chagrin, his successor is a weakling, and to make things worst, never listen to the old king’s advice or opinion in how to rule a kingdom at all. Now, the old king was treated like a lowly creature by his successor. What become of the old king, not much people knew, but Prince AnWar became famous once again as after the old king had passed down his throne to his sucessor, he was released from his punishment and no longer lived in exile. King Oh La La had probably hoped that Prince AnWar would be on his side when he was released.

But boy, was he wrong. Prince AnWar was never on the new king’s side. Whatever he do, he go against the new king’s wishes. King Oh La La was not happy, and so was the rest of his people.

One day, there’s a competition in that country. The prize of the competition is a small state. King Oh La La and Prince AnWar both wanted that little state. King Oh La La is not happy because it seems that the judges in the competition favoured Prince AnWar more than him. And so, King Oh La La and all his supporters are willing to do anything to bring Prince AnWar to the pit of stench and get rid of him again once and for all. But they can’t seems to find anything wrong with Prince AnWar to bring him down.

But lady luck is on their side. A jester in Prince AnWar’s court, known as Sai Fool cried to the world that he was banged in the ass by Prince AnWar a few month before the competition, and the news has been going out for a while now. Sai Fool whimpered like a fool he is and told the world what Prince AnWar did to his asshole. He claimed that his asshole was screwed numerous times by none other but Prince AnWar but nobody seems to believe him. Even some doctors who had a peek on his asshole did not believe that there’s a sign of any anal damaged. But of course, there are many other doctors who had examined Sai Fool’s pretty little asshole, was so fascinated by the structure of Sai Fool’s asshole and was convinced that he was brutalized by a big old banana.

It’s just too bad for Sai Fool the court jester that the timing of his accusation is too near to the competition. Everyone thought that it’s just another conspiracy to bring down Prince AnWar. As expected, nobody believe Sai Fool, and he decided to swear to God and the Holy Book in a Sacred Hall that if he lied that Prince AnWar had screwed with his asshole, God will damned him and all sort of damnation will befall him.

But, there’s flaw to his plans on getting everyone believe whatever he said, because in reality, even though one had swear to God that they are telling the truth about something, it doesn’t mean that they are truly fearing God. They still can lie even though they had swear that they will tell the truth. What if God decided not to punish the person who used his name in an ill manners to get other believe what he had said? Then of course people will think that a liar is telling the truth, right? Children, swearing on the Holy Book or in God’s name is not a good way to prove something, because nothing will change when you swear in God’s name. Only God knows whether you’re telling the truth or not, not the people.

So children,let’s play fair. Don’t drag God along in pursuit of all of your wants and needs. Don’t use God’s name at wimp. God is a very busy being you know? He have many other things to tend to, like the endless ongoing wars, the illness and plague that’s spreading in the world as well as the filthy environment that’s been polluted by idiotic monkeys who called themselves human. God have better things to do than tend to some fool who wanted the whole world to know that his asshole was screwed.

Cleffairy: I swear every damned day, only in different ways. 😛

I’ve always loved fairy tales, with handsome prince and adorable princesses getting married and stuff. But these days, fairy tales and dramas seems to be a tad disgusting for me. It consist of old man courting and proposing marriage to each each other. Do you guys know what I’m talking about? Ohh… actually I am talking about the latest fairy-tale drama on Bulletin Utama, TV3.

Once upon a time, there was two princes who have been rival for a very, very long time. One prince was called UhmmNo while another prince was called AhPas.

Prince UhmmNo has always been the stronger one. He always win the heart of the citizens, no matter what he do. But slowly, the citizens begin to dislike him, because they found out that he don’t actually care for the citizen’s welfare, and treats the citizens quite unfairly.

One fine day, there is a competition, and the prize is a very beautiful Island with a bounty of treasure. Prince UhmmNo and Prince AhPas sent their best knights and warriors to fight over the beautiful Island. They fought quite fairly, and Prince UhmmNo lost some part of the competition to Prince AhPas and his knights and was forced to share the beautiful Island with Prince AhPas and his court.

Now, Prince UhmmNo gets very, very furious. He feels that loosing is such an insult. He cannot accept it! Never before he had lost like that to Prince AhPas and his knights, so now, Prince UhmmNo swears to himself, that he will do whatever it takes to have the beautiful Island to himself! Oh dear. That is bad. One should not be consumed with greed and power and learn how to share.

Prince UhmmNo try whatever he can thinks of to get rid of Prince AhPas. He tried badmouthing Prince AhPas and his court, but no one wants to listen. Then he tried to create bad rumours about how bad Prince AhPas would treat the Island’s citizens if he and his court are to rule longer, but unfortunately for him the citizens refused to listen, because they know that Prince UhmmNo did not treat them that well either.

Now, the greedy Prince UhmmNo is very unhappy because no matter what he do, Prince AhPas and his court still stands strong. One thing about Prince UhmmNo is that he is very resourceful. He told himself, if he can make Prince AhPas falls in love with him and marry him, then Prince AhPas would ditch his court and handover the Island to him.

So, the sly Prince UhmmNo goes all sweet and sugary, buttering up Prince AhPas with beautiful and romantic words. Prince UhmmNo went on his knees and made a marriage proposal.

“AhPas, my dear, please marry me. You know that I actually try to piss you off because I want to get your attention. I actually fell in love with you ever since I first saw you, AhPas. Oh, darling, please marry me. I cannot live without you. Let us marry, for the sake of the Island’s people. We can rule together as one.” Prince UhmmNo said sweetly to Prince Ahpas as he kneels down to propose. He brought roses and a chunk of diamond with him and showed it to Prince AhPas.

Prince AhPas was not really convinced that Prince UhmmNo is truly in love with him and is sincere about marrying him. Deep inside, he knew that Prince UhmmNo just wanted part of the Island to himself. So Prince AhPas decided to play hard to get.

“UhmmNo, darling. But you already have a lot of wives. I am not sure if they will treat me well. But since you are in love with me, I think I will consider your proposal if you divorce them.” Prince AhPas said with a glee as he eyed the sweet scented roses and a huge chunk of diamond.

“Please marry me. Your court are useless. You have to think about the citizens. They are suffering now because we’re not married. I will even let you be the one who wear the pants if we get married. I’ll let you be the boss. Let’s get married, for our citizen’s sake.” Prince UhmmNo pleaded.

“I told you, darling. I will consider if you divorce all of your wives and devote all of your time only to me, and agree to obey me and agree to what I think is right.” Prince AhPas said firmly.

“But AhPas my sweet, I am afraid that my wives will bash me up if I divorce them. You wouldn’t want such thing to happen, do you, hunbun?” Prince UhmmNo said as crocodile tears started to form in his huge eyes.

“What do I care? If you want to marry me, then you will have to agree with my conditions. I am not cheap, you know? Besides, I want a pre-nuptial agreement, just in case you play dirty after we get married.” Prince AhPas cleverly said.

“I don’t know AhPas my love. I just hope that you can accept my love unconditionally…” Prince UhmmNo said.

“Well,UhmmNo, we can continute to have dates and discuss the terms of marriage if you want. But let me tell you, I will not marry you if you don’t agree to my conditions.” AhPas said, as he walks away from Prince UhmmNo to return to his own kingdom and wait for their next dates.

The article below is the picture of Prince AhPas, taken from The Sun. He was asking Prince UhmmNo for a pre-nuptial agreement.

Cleffairy: Please excuse me while I go and puke over my own storytelling, people. LOL. 😛

The article below is written by Cleffairy Lucas…enjoy reading, people.

Long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Master Yoda has spoken to the Jedi Council and all of it’s Padawan. Master Yoda was very concern for the crumbling unity in the Jedi Council, as the citizens of the Galaxy has lost trust in the ability of the Jedi Council to keep the galaxy safe from the invation of the dark side after the recent Galactic Election. Obviously, The Jedi Council seems to have lost it’s touch in maintaining a posperous Galaxy after their supreme leader’s retirement a few years ago.

The new leader chosen by Master Yoda himself doesn’t seem fit enough for the task and seems to have lost control over the galaxy. Everything doesn’t seems right. Maintaining a peaceful galaxy is now no longer a breeze. There’s so many things happening out there. There are so many rumous and scandal. It’s not a wonder that the people in the Galaxy has lost their trust in the Jedi Council. Who would trust a leader who constantly nod off during a galactic conference or a leader who is rumoured to have blast a poor intrepreter to death anyway?

The people do not know who to turn to. It is either they continue to support the Jedi Council and endure whatever nonsense they plan to implement or join the Dark Side who claimed that they will soon ease the people’s suffering and reformed the entire galaxy.

The council have not been so kind to Master Yoda’s critism. In thirst for power, they had treated their former leader like a piece of grime in Darth Vader’s stinking G-string underwear. Constructives critism were never welcomed. Master Yoda, the retired leader himself has lost his voice in the Jedi Council and decided to leave Jedi Council until new leader has been chosen. Obviously Master Yoda is pissed with the council that he decided to make that decision. Master Yoda was known to be loyal to the council.

And recently, Master yoda decided to give the Jedi Council another piece of advice that many doubt will be taken seriously. This is what Master Yoda had to say today:

“Repeat not my mistakes, young padawan. Choose him again, no more. Stop this catastrophy, we must, young padawan. Work towards Galactic peace and unity, we must!” he urged.

It’s very unfortunate for Master Yoda as he now no longer have influence over the Jedi Council, and the Jedi Council itself is full of power thirsty aliens who refused to sacrifice their positions for the sake of all living organism in the Galaxy. Fractions of political beliefs is everywhere in the council itself. And the ‘bootlicking the leader’ virus seems to spread like a plague. It seems that the Council is no longer relevant to the Galaxy. The councillors are so busy in their quest for power and their lust for luxury that they had forgotten what the Jedi Council is supposed to fight for,which is for the citizen, and not themselves. The citizens of the galaxy are left in negligence to fend for themselves in the current state of turmoil.

Frankly speaking, I don’t think whatever Master Yoda had said will be taken seriously. In fact, the council has stopped listening to master Yoda ever since he decided to retire as their council leader. The council has long turn deaf ears towards the old master. Sad, isn’t it? And now the people have no choice. It’s either continue to support the corrupted Jedi Council or join the Dark Side.

Darth Vader and the Dark Side has been working very hard to gain popularity among the aliens in the Galaxy. I wonder if they’ll stay true to their words if they manage to overthrow the Jedi Council? Or do we the Galactic citizens needs a new force in order to rebuild the crumbling Galaxy? I do not know. Seek your mind, as the answer is within.

Cleffairy: May the force be with you. 😛

Once upon a time, there was a newspaper called Malaysian Today…and they tell a story of a man called Maha who owns a farm which can produce 10 apples every day.
He has 5 workers to operate the farm.
Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally.
The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.
He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities.
He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.
Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.

When Maha passed away and there is a new landlord, Abdul comes to continue the farm operation.
He says to the workers:” We need to improve the farm quality and redefine our way of thinking.
From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat.
It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the farm.”
The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily.
Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to RM1.00 per person.
As usual, Abdul sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40.
He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers.
He gets RM5.00 as profit. On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers.
In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.

Soon, the apple price increases to RM20 each.
The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily.
Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Samy.
Samy says:”Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik.”
So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50.
In actual, the improvement only cost RM30.
The remaining RM20, Abdul and Samy share evenly among themselves.

Now, children, let’s calculate how much Abdul gets daily:

RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples: [Gross profit, RM80] – [Improvement cost, RM50] – [Wages RM10] = RM20)
RM5 (from selling apples to his workers)

In total, Abdul gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes over the farm from Maha.
His profit increases RM25 and the workers are still getting RM1.00 daily per person.
The greedy Abdul does not want to stop there.
One day, he says to his fellow workers:” You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying RM1.
See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apple you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00.
This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this.
In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bear the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all. ”
So, greedy Abdul adds RM2.50 to his current profit and the number becomes RM37.50.

After you have read the story, what did you learn, children? I am sure you have already understood the meaning of “SUBSIDY” given by the government. And the moral of this story is? My, my….we should take advantage when we’re able to. We’ll get richer, you know? And now, go to bed, and dream sweet things. Haha… and remember, an apple a day, keeps the doctor away.