Erasing History

This is a scheduled entry, dear readers. Yours truly is still boiling over the fact that her line is still not yet fixed, causing her to be impeded from mingling in the world wide web.

I’ve now heard that now the person who was said to be involved in Altantunya Shariibu’s murder’s name is a taboo. The man was released last year, and his name was supposed to be cleared, though there are law practitioners who would cut a hand or leg just to see the court claim mistrial against him. The man’s name is now a taboo in all mainstream press as well as alternative press. And so, I shall not mention his name here, in case I get caught and be dumped into ISA. I enjoy freedom too much to risk it. But you guys can look it up, and you’ll know whose name it is that’s now forbidden to be spoken among the commoners.

The people ‘up above’ has made his name a taboo. Making an important character’s name a taboo is almost the same as erasing history and memories of the person. It is either to give the person a new life, or to make the public forget about the person and his sins. In some cases, the person’s contribution in human history. Usually the motives of erasing someone from history is pretty common. It is to cover up a dangerous conspiracy or to protect someone’s reputation. Such things does not only happen in the modern world. It happens in many era, dating as early as the times of Ancient Egypt Civilization.

The story of a man whose name is prohibited to be spoken among the public reminds me of a very powerful Egyptian Queen. She suffered almost the same fate as the man whose name cannot be spoken. She was effectively erased from history. And people only found the truth and traces about her centuries after her death. She was a great queen with many contributions during her reign. Her name was Hatshepsut.

Hatshepsut was born in the 18th Dynasty. This Dynasty is also referred too as the New Kingdom. Hatshepsut entered this world as the daughter of royal parents. Her father was Tuthmosis I and ruled Egypt for approximately 12 to 14 years. Her mother was Ahmes. Ahmes was the sister of Amenophris I (Pharaoh who ruled Egypt for 21 years). In addition to Hatshepsut, Tuthmosis I and Ahmes had a son. They named him Anenemes. By birthright, Anenemes should have inherited the throne as the son of Tuthmosis I and Ahmes; however, he never became king. Hatshepsut, on the other hand, went on to rule Egypt in later years for approximately 21 years. Hatshepsut ruled Egypt between 1479-1458/57. She ruled in a time when women were allowed to own property and to hold official positions. They were given rights to inherit from deceased family members and were allowed to present their cases in court. Women of Ancient Egypt had more freedom then other ancient cultures such as Greece where women were expected to stay home.

After the death of Hatshepsut’s father (Tuthmose I), her half brother (Tuthmose II) succeeded the throne. As it was customary in royal families, the oldest daughter of the pharaoh would marry a brother to keep the royal blood lines intact. Therefore, Hatshepsut married her half brother. Tuthmose II was the son of one of her father’s lesser wives (Mutnofret); however, his reign would be short and his life short-lived. It may have been that Tuthmose II died of an illness and thus held the throne only for 14 years.

During their marriage, Hatshepsut and Tuthmose II were not able to produce a male heir but rather had a daughter whom they named Neferure. In later years, it appears that Neferure may have been married to her half brother (Tuthmose III); much like her mother had married a half brother in previous years. Tuthmose III was the son of Tuthmose II (Hatshepsut’s husband) and one of his royal concubines named Isis. This blood line made Tuthmose III a stepson to Hatshepsut. Because Tuthmose III was very young when his father died, Hatshepsut became a co-regent and ruled right along side the young stepson. It appears that within the second or third year of this co-regency reign, Hatshepsut proclaimed herself king with complete titles. She would be known as Maatkare (Matt is the ka of Ra) and also Khnemet-Amun-Hatshepsut (She who embraces Amun, the foremost of women). After this proclamation, Tuthmosis III would no longer reign as co-regent with Hatshepsut. In order to make Hatshepsut’s proclamation to king more official and more accepting to the Egyptian citizens, she invented a co-regency with her father Tuthmosis I. She even went as far as incorporating this fabricated co-regency into texts and representations. These were found decorating her mortuary temple at Deir el-Bahri. In addition, and also to make things still more official, Hatshepsut dedicated a chapel to her father in her mortuary temple. She hoped to acquire more acceptance as the new ruler of Egypt by changing the beliefs of her people.

Hatshepsut was a very unique and intelligent individual. She used various strategies to legitimize her position as pharaoh. Not only did she proclaim herself as pharaoh and fabricate a co-regency with her father (Tuthmose I), but she also tried to make herself more god-like by the invention of stories with the attachment to gods. She did this by making it appear as if the gods had spoken to her and her mother while in she was still in her mother’s womb. Hatshepsut misled her subjects and the uneducated public by indicating that Amon-Ra had visited her pregnant mother at the temple in Deir el-Bahri in the Valley of the Kings.

Hatshepsut was unique because she took on several male adornments while she ruled Egypt. Unlike most women of that time, she attached a false beard, wore male clothing, and was depicted in statutes as a pharaoh. She might have done this to make her transition to kingship and the acceptance of the priesthood more convincing. It may be that if she had ruled strictly with a more feminine-looking disposition she may not have been so readily accepted by the masses. Her strategy seemed to work and the priests supported her reign as pharaoh.

There were many prominent figures during her reign but there appears to be one person in particular who was probably foremost in her circle. This prominent person was Senenmut who was born of a humble family in Armant. He came to be known as Hatshepsut’s spokesman and steward of the royal family. In addition, he was known as superintendent of the buildings of the God Amun. During the later years, Hatshepsut had obelisks installed in the Temple of Amon-Re at Karnak. Senenmut supervised the transport and erection of these obelisks as well as the mortuary temple that was built for Hatshepsut at Deir el-Bahri.

It appears that he must have been very well favored by the Queen as he had a separate tomb constructed close to Hatshepsut’s tomb for himself. He had this second tomb dug out in front of Queen Hatshepsut’s tomb in spite of owning another tomb at Sheikh Abd el-Qurna. During Hatshepsut’s reign, gossip followed the pair as it was suggested that his good fortune was due as a result of his intimate relations with the Queen. To add to this deduction, it was further fueled by the fact that he played a heavy role in the education of Hatshepsut’s only daughter Neferure. His brother, Senimen, also acted as nurse and steward to Neferure and this caused more gossip to run rampant. Several statues were found associating Senenmut with the Princess Neferure. History shows that Senenmut was a prominent figure during three-fourths of Hatshepsut’s reign and possibly after the death of Neferure (it appears that she died around the 11th year of Hatshepsut’s reign), that he fell out of graces with the queen for unknown reasons. Speculation has it that he may have had some kind of alliance with Tuthmosis III (Hatshepsut’s stepson) and this could have led to the demise of their relationship.

History also shows that the construction of the famous temple of Deir el-Bahri was most probably started by Tuthmose II and later finished by Queen Hatshepsut. The walls of the temple depict major achievements such as the expedition to Punt near the Red Sea. This trading expedition brought back many riches for the country.

To this day, the death of Hatshepsut remains a mystery. It appears that she reigned for fifteen years and her stepson took the throne after her disappearance. It’s also believed that the hatred for his stepmother pushed him to erase the memory, existence, and any depictions of Queen Hatshepsut by destroying any monuments erected during her reign. Although her temple still stands, neither her tomb nor her mummy has ever been found. She has now come to be known as having been the only female pharaoh to erect the most monuments during her reign.
Cleffairy: History taught us many things. Erasing history is included. Once a man’s name and his stories became a taboo, he will cease from existence.

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Cleffairy’s Story Part 1: School politics

When I was a little girl, I was pampered to the very core by my parents and my grandparents alike. Being the first grandchild for both side, maternal and paternal, I was treated no less than a princess, and my every whim and fancy were obliged.

I was a child with small body size, big eyes, fair skin, long hair and a mouth that never seems to stop talking. I was a chatterbox, and stopping me from talking would be like forcing a reluctant horse to drink water. I was told that I was an adorable child. Very likable and agreeable  child. Pleasant to the eyes, and pleasant to the heart, as I was also an affectionate child who showers her affection easily to family members. I suspect, I was not so pleasant to the ears, though, because I’m known to have quite a mouth, even as a child.

I have rebellious streak and have a mind of my own, even as young as five years old. I have inquisitive mind, a trait that I inherited from my father, and would do anything to achieve perfection in whatever I do.

I did not grew up in Malaysia. And so, when I came back to Malaysia to pursue my primary education as my parents saw fit, I couldn’t fit in. I was boycotted by classmates and teachers alike because I was different, and not timid in class.  I could not communicate well for first 2 years of my primary education in Malaysia because I could not communicate in any other language except for English. I felt that nobody could understand me. Back then, I felt as if I was abandoned in a strange place where people have no idea what I was talking about. Even though what I expressed  verbally was coherent in the language that spoke I understood, it was nothing but alien to people who are around me. My classmates would laugh at me, jeer me and I was shunned because I was ‘different’.

I was called names. Ranging from idiot to retarded, you name it. And every time during recess, I would sit in a corner alone eating things from my lunch box while other kids sit together and happily eat food that they bought from the canteen. I wanted to buy food like them, but couldn’t, because I do not know how to use Malaysian Ringgit, what’s more the value of it. I was cheated by friends a couple of times, and my parents had enough of it. Therefore, they gave me lunchbox, and only Rm0.30-Rm0.50 as my pocket money, which was usually left at home, inside the piggy bank.

I would go home crying everyday because I felt alone and so different, but my parents merely thought that this is just a phase, and I’ll get over it. Nobody helped me, and this is where I started to develop mistrust towards people around me, including my parents as they were not supportive when I need them to be.

Hurt and wounded psychologically, I learned Bahasa Malaysia on my own, without the help of teachers whatsoever, and being a perfectionist, I excelled by working extra hard at understanding the language. I scored and mastered the language in no time, and attempt to get myself into the social circle of my classmates. Unfortunately for me, once a freak, will always be a freak, and I soon learn my very first lesson in politics from the bullies in school. The bullies in school would report to my mother who constantly make trip to school to ‘follow up’ with my progress. And she will be told that I’m a lazy child who do not listen to the teacher, constantly forgetting to do homework, and stupid. And, my mother would believe those brats that I would classified as young bitches and bastards easily without question. She would not ask me if their statements were true or not. Those child- bitches would snicker and blow raspberry at me when my mother was not looking. My mother then would punish me by hitting my hand or pulling my ears when we got home. I was told to shut up when I tried to protest, and I will be given more mathematics and language exercises as punishment.

Once, the bullies cut my long hair, and lied to my parents that I cut it myself. I got into trouble with my parents again because of their lies as they made my parents think that I was mentally disturbed. Again, my mother told me to shut up and stop lying when I told her that it’s not true. Neither of my parents knew that I cried myself to sleep because my long hair have been cropped short by those child-bitches.

I became a very angry and vengeful child, because I felt that even my mother was giving me a hard time.  Shutting my parents out because they did listened to the bullies instead of me, I became pretentious. I kept the cheerful, cute girl facade and started to lie. I started to lie in most situation because my parents seems to take lies easier than truth. I lied to survived. I admitted to them that I didn’t listen to the teachers, forget to do or bring my homework when the fact was my books was hidden by the bullies until school was over, and admit to my parents that I cut my hair because I hated my long hair as my classmates did not keep long hair. My parents believed it easily.

As young as  8, I was a  strategist’s in the making. I fully took advantage of my ability to learn fast and took revenge on the school bullies in English classes and made them look stupid in front of the teachers. And when their parents came to take the report book every semester, I made sure I returned their ‘favour’ of fibbing to my mother. My mission was easily accomplished because my academical achievements are better than them. I was satisfied when one of the bitches were slapped because of my words before my very eyes. When her parents were not looking, I walked up to her, and told her ‘Padan muka'(Serve you right). And when she tried to harm me, I pretended to fall onto the floor and wailed. She then got into trouble again for bullying someone who is smaller in size than her.

I did not feel sorry for her. In fact, I was very happy that she too, will suffer the same fate as me at home. Thinking back, I wonder if I would be a different person if I was not bullied at such a young and tender age? I wonder, if my parents were more attentive of me and spend time to listen to me, I would became a more forgiving and gullible person?

I have no answer to that. I will never have an answer to that, because I could never alter my past. However, I seriously think that my childhood would be less painful and easier if my parents spent time to listen to me instead of merely judging and punishing me.

Being parents are not easy. Now that I’m all grown up, I understood that it is rather difficult to bring yourself to your child’s level and communicate with them effectively. Parents are usually busy with work and came home too tired to do anything but hit the sack. But then again, it is important to remember that we, as parents are not always right and the children are not always wrong. It would do no harm to listen to them and give a chance to them to defend themselves before delivering your judgment upon them. It would also do no harm if you could be more attentive of their psychological needs instead of just their monetary needs all the time. I believe, by doing so, your child would trust you more and be more open to you instead of keeping things to themselves. And by doing so, you will also be your children’s best friend instead of just being their parents.

Cleffairy: It is all right to be your children’s friends every now and then. Not many parents could do that, but you’d be an excellent parents if you can.

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Cleffairy’s Story Part 1: School politics

When I was a little girl, I was pampered to the very core by my parents and my grandparents alike. Being the first grandchild for both side, maternal and paternal, I was treated no less than a princess, and my every whim and fancy were obliged.

I was a child with small body size, big eyes, fair skin, long hair and a mouth that never seems to stop talking. I was a chatterbox, and stopping me from talking would be like forcing a reluctant horse to drink water. I was told that I was an adorable child. Very likable and agreeable  child. Pleasant to the eyes, and pleasant to the heart, as I was also an affectionate child who showers her affection easily to family members. I suspect, I was not so pleasant to the ears, though, because I’m known to have quite a mouth, even as a child.

I have rebellious streak and have a mind of my own, even as young as five years old. I have inquisitive mind, a trait that I inherited from my father, and would do anything to achieve perfection in whatever I do.

I did not grew up in Malaysia. And so, when I came back to Malaysia to pursue my primary education as my parents saw fit, I couldn’t fit in. I was boycotted by classmates and teachers alike because I was different, and not timid in class.  I could not communicate well for first 2 years of my primary education in Malaysia because I could not communicate in any other language except for English. I felt that nobody could understand me. Back then, I felt as if I was abandoned in a strange place where people have no idea what I was talking about. Even though what I expressed  verbally was coherent in the language that spoke I understood, it was nothing but alien to people who are around me. My classmates would laugh at me, jeer me and I was shunned because I was ‘different’.

I was called names. Ranging from idiot to retarded, you name it. And every time during recess, I would sit in a corner alone eating things from my lunch box while other kids sit together and happily eat food that they bought from the canteen. I wanted to buy food like them, but couldn’t, because I do not know how to use Malaysian Ringgit, what’s more the value of it. I was cheated by friends a couple of times, and my parents had enough of it. Therefore, they gave me lunchbox, and only Rm0.30-Rm0.50 as my pocket money, which was usually left at home, inside the piggy bank.

I would go home crying everyday because I felt alone and so different, but my parents merely thought that this is just a phase, and I’ll get over it. Nobody helped me, and this is where I started to develop mistrust towards people around me, including my parents as they were not supportive when I need them to be.

Hurt and wounded psychologically, I learned Bahasa Malaysia on my own, without the help of teachers whatsoever, and being a perfectionist, I excelled by working extra hard at understanding the language. I scored and mastered the language in no time, and attempt to get myself into the social circle of my classmates. Unfortunately for me, once a freak, will always be a freak, and I soon learn my very first lesson in politics from the bullies in school. The bullies in school would report to my mother who constantly make trip to school to ‘follow up’ with my progress. And she will be told that I’m a lazy child who do not listen to the teacher, constantly forgetting to do homework, and stupid. And, my mother would believe those brats that I would classified as young bitches and bastards easily without question. She would not ask me if their statements were true or not. Those child- bitches would snicker and blow raspberry at me when my mother was not looking. My mother then would punish me by hitting my hand or pulling my ears when we got home. I was told to shut up when I tried to protest, and I will be given more mathematics and language exercises as punishment.

Once, the bullies cut my long hair, and lied to my parents that I cut it myself. I got into trouble with my parents again because of their lies as they made my parents think that I was mentally disturbed. Again, my mother told me to shut up and stop lying when I told her that it’s not true. Neither of my parents knew that I cried myself to sleep because my long hair have been cropped short by those child-bitches.

I became a very angry and vengeful child, because I felt that even my mother was giving me a hard time.  Shutting my parents out because they did listened to the bullies instead of me, I became pretentious. I kept the cheerful, cute girl facade and started to lie. I started to lie in most situation because my parents seems to take lies easier than truth. I lied to survived. I admitted to them that I didn’t listen to the teachers, forget to do or bring my homework when the fact was my books was hidden by the bullies until school was over, and admit to my parents that I cut my hair because I hated my long hair as my classmates did not keep long hair. My parents believed it easily.

As young as  8, I was a  strategist’s in the making. I fully took advantage of my ability to learn fast and took revenge on the school bullies in English classes and made them look stupid in front of the teachers. And when their parents came to take the report book every semester, I made sure I returned their ‘favour’ of fibbing to my mother. My mission was easily accomplished because my academical achievements are better than them. I was satisfied when one of the bitches were slapped because of my words before my very eyes. When her parents were not looking, I walked up to her, and told her ‘Padan muka'(Serve you right). And when she tried to harm me, I pretended to fall onto the floor and wailed. She then got into trouble again for bullying someone who is smaller in size than her.

I did not feel sorry for her. In fact, I was very happy that she too, will suffer the same fate as me at home. Thinking back, I wonder if I would be a different person if I was not bullied at such a young and tender age? I wonder, if my parents were more attentive of me and spend time to listen to me, I would became a more forgiving and gullible person?

I have no answer to that. I will never have an answer to that, because I could never alter my past. However, I seriously think that my childhood would be less painful and easier if my parents spent time to listen to me instead of merely judging and punishing me.

Being parents are not easy. Now that I’m all grown up, I understood that it is rather difficult to bring yourself to your child’s level and communicate with them effectively. Parents are usually busy with work and came home too tired to do anything but hit the sack. But then again, it is important to remember that we, as parents are not always right and the children are not always wrong. It would do no harm to listen to them and give a chance to them to defend themselves before delivering your judgment upon them. It would also do no harm if you could be more attentive of their psychological needs instead of just their monetary needs all the time. I believe, by doing so, your child would trust you more and be more open to you instead of keeping things to themselves. And by doing so, you will also be your children’s best friend instead of just being their parents.

Cleffairy: It is all right to be your children’s friends every now and then. Not many parents could do that, but you’d be an excellent parents if you can.

Continue Reading

Cleffairy's Story Part 1: School politics

When I was a little girl, I was pampered to the very core by my parents and my grandparents alike. Being the first grandchild for both side, maternal and paternal, I was treated no less than a princess, and my every whim and fancy were obliged.

I was a child with small body size, big eyes, fair skin, long hair and a mouth that never seems to stop talking. I was a chatterbox, and stopping me from talking would be like forcing a reluctant horse to drink water. I was told that I was an adorable child. Very likable and agreeable  child. Pleasant to the eyes, and pleasant to the heart, as I was also an affectionate child who showers her affection easily to family members. I suspect, I was not so pleasant to the ears, though, because I’m known to have quite a mouth, even as a child.

I have rebellious streak and have a mind of my own, even as young as five years old. I have inquisitive mind, a trait that I inherited from my father, and would do anything to achieve perfection in whatever I do.

I did not grew up in Malaysia. And so, when I came back to Malaysia to pursue my primary education as my parents saw fit, I couldn’t fit in. I was boycotted by classmates and teachers alike because I was different, and not timid in class.  I could not communicate well for first 2 years of my primary education in Malaysia because I could not communicate in any other language except for English. I felt that nobody could understand me. Back then, I felt as if I was abandoned in a strange place where people have no idea what I was talking about. Even though what I expressed  verbally was coherent in the language that spoke I understood, it was nothing but alien to people who are around me. My classmates would laugh at me, jeer me and I was shunned because I was ‘different’.

I was called names. Ranging from idiot to retarded, you name it. And every time during recess, I would sit in a corner alone eating things from my lunch box while other kids sit together and happily eat food that they bought from the canteen. I wanted to buy food like them, but couldn’t, because I do not know how to use Malaysian Ringgit, what’s more the value of it. I was cheated by friends a couple of times, and my parents had enough of it. Therefore, they gave me lunchbox, and only Rm0.30-Rm0.50 as my pocket money, which was usually left at home, inside the piggy bank.

I would go home crying everyday because I felt alone and so different, but my parents merely thought that this is just a phase, and I’ll get over it. Nobody helped me, and this is where I started to develop mistrust towards people around me, including my parents as they were not supportive when I need them to be.

Hurt and wounded psychologically, I learned Bahasa Malaysia on my own, without the help of teachers whatsoever, and being a perfectionist, I excelled by working extra hard at understanding the language. I scored and mastered the language in no time, and attempt to get myself into the social circle of my classmates. Unfortunately for me, once a freak, will always be a freak, and I soon learn my very first lesson in politics from the bullies in school. The bullies in school would report to my mother who constantly make trip to school to ‘follow up’ with my progress. And she will be told that I’m a lazy child who do not listen to the teacher, constantly forgetting to do homework, and stupid. And, my mother would believe those brats that I would classified as young bitches and bastards easily without question. She would not ask me if their statements were true or not. Those child- bitches would snicker and blow raspberry at me when my mother was not looking. My mother then would punish me by hitting my hand or pulling my ears when we got home. I was told to shut up when I tried to protest, and I will be given more mathematics and language exercises as punishment.

Once, the bullies cut my long hair, and lied to my parents that I cut it myself. I got into trouble with my parents again because of their lies as they made my parents think that I was mentally disturbed. Again, my mother told me to shut up and stop lying when I told her that it’s not true. Neither of my parents knew that I cried myself to sleep because my long hair have been cropped short by those child-bitches.

I became a very angry and vengeful child, because I felt that even my mother was giving me a hard time.  Shutting my parents out because they did listened to the bullies instead of me, I became pretentious. I kept the cheerful, cute girl facade and started to lie. I started to lie in most situation because my parents seems to take lies easier than truth. I lied to survived. I admitted to them that I didn’t listen to the teachers, forget to do or bring my homework when the fact was my books was hidden by the bullies until school was over, and admit to my parents that I cut my hair because I hated my long hair as my classmates did not keep long hair. My parents believed it easily.

As young as  8, I was a  strategist’s in the making. I fully took advantage of my ability to learn fast and took revenge on the school bullies in English classes and made them look stupid in front of the teachers. And when their parents came to take the report book every semester, I made sure I returned their ‘favour’ of fibbing to my mother. My mission was easily accomplished because my academical achievements are better than them. I was satisfied when one of the bitches were slapped because of my words before my very eyes. When her parents were not looking, I walked up to her, and told her ‘Padan muka'(Serve you right). And when she tried to harm me, I pretended to fall onto the floor and wailed. She then got into trouble again for bullying someone who is smaller in size than her.

I did not feel sorry for her. In fact, I was very happy that she too, will suffer the same fate as me at home. Thinking back, I wonder if I would be a different person if I was not bullied at such a young and tender age? I wonder, if my parents were more attentive of me and spend time to listen to me, I would became a more forgiving and gullible person?

I have no answer to that. I will never have an answer to that, because I could never alter my past. However, I seriously think that my childhood would be less painful and easier if my parents spent time to listen to me instead of merely judging and punishing me.

Being parents are not easy. Now that I’m all grown up, I understood that it is rather difficult to bring yourself to your child’s level and communicate with them effectively. Parents are usually busy with work and came home too tired to do anything but hit the sack. But then again, it is important to remember that we, as parents are not always right and the children are not always wrong. It would do no harm to listen to them and give a chance to them to defend themselves before delivering your judgment upon them. It would also do no harm if you could be more attentive of their psychological needs instead of just their monetary needs all the time. I believe, by doing so, your child would trust you more and be more open to you instead of keeping things to themselves. And by doing so, you will also be your children’s best friend instead of just being their parents.

Cleffairy: It is all right to be your children’s friends every now and then. Not many parents could do that, but you’d be an excellent parents if you can.

Continue Reading

Malaysia Greatest Magician

*pOOf* Who said Malaysia does not have any good magicians around? Malaysia is a country where everything is made possible, and in the field of magic and optical illusion, Malaysia has at least two best kept secret. One is a magician and he is a master of disappearance act while the other is a clown, a master of presenting bullshits on a silver platter to his audience no matter where he go. The clown would act like an ultimate retarded puppet to be dressed up and played by whoever could afford to pay him handsome reward. Below is the description of the two prolific magic and optical illusion entertainer:

Mr. Bola Bola– Mr. Bola Bola is actually a private investigator who one day woke up from the wrong side of his bed and decided to learn magic. But in the process of learning and mastering magic in a famous magic school, he made his evil teacher goes ballistic and very pissed off with his antics. Mr. Bola Bola, fearing that the teacher will cast awful spell and curse his family have no choice but to perform his ultimate disappearance act that will put David Copperfield to shame. He chanted some magic words, and *poof* …him, and his entire family disappeared from their motherland, Malaysia and appeared on other part of the earth in an instant. He is said to be living a bombastic life with his loved ones in the land of belly dancers where a renowned Indian Datuk resides. But of course, it’s only rumours that he is in the land of belly dancers. It is not possible for a great magician to show himself to the public when he does not wish it, right? Til this very day, no one really know his whereabouts. One would wonder if one day he will magic will wear off and finally return to his homeland. Even David Copperfield’s disappearance act does not last forever.

Sai Fool– A sad case of entertainer who should be conferred ‘Clown of the Year’ award. He has definitely performed the best joke any desperate gay clown could perform. He was smitten with his boss and tried to seduce him, but it was rumoured that his boss does not give a damn about him. Pissed off, he claimed that he is sodomized by his boss and he does not enjoy it, and cried rape to the world. Then, he goes great length to prove that his ass was brutalized countless times by swearing his ass off in a holy shrine. He was very famous back then with his absurd attempt to taint his boss good name and he became every single newspaper and electronic media headline. However, the clown too had learn some magic, which is the art of disappearance and optical illusion act. He too, like Mr. Bola Bola, goes *pOoF* one day and disappeared from the face of the earth. Sai Fool is a way better performer than Mr. Bola Bola though, as there is no news or rumours about him at all and he is nowhere to be seen. Everyone seems to forget about him and nobody knows his whereabouts at all!

Cleffairy: *pOoF* Does magic last forever? Even Cinderella’s magic wears off by 12 midnight.

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How to earn a Datukship in Malaysia

I’m quite aware that a lot of us here is dreaming to be a Datuk…not as in grandfather ‘Datuk’ but the recognition given to individuals who contributes a lot in Malaysia. Well, dear precious readers, it’s actually very easy to earn a Datukship, all you need to do is just:

1. Be an athlete, train like mad, and earn back a medal of your choice in Olympic Games.

2. Do a plastic surgery or wear a susuk and go for some singing contest so that you can become a singer and earn your Datukship through your ‘contributions’ to the entertainment industry. Having a huge fan base, being coy through pretending that you are pure and chaste as well as marrying some cocky tycoon determines whether you’ll get your datukship easily or not too. So, ladies, be good, and go seduce some Datuk with a dozen kid who is almost the same age as your father to marry. Ohh, it’s so damn good! The Datuk is experienced in bed too, no?

3. Get involve in scandal. Be it sex scandal or even bribery. When you’re famous, it’s easier for you to earn Datukship.

4. Be a crony of powerful politician.

5. You must know how to converse in Hindi and sing Hindi songs very well.

6. You must change your surname to ‘Khan’. If your name is Tan Wai Ming, then you need to add ‘Khan’ at the end of your name.

7. You must know how to dance to Hindi song very well. So, take up belly dancing, baby!

8. If you don’t resemble any famous Bollywood actor or actress, well, then please seek consultation from Micheal Jackson’s plastic surgeon and ask the doctor to make you look like Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan or whatever Khan who is famous in Bollywood at the moment.

9. You must not be a Malaysian citizen. They don’t give Datukship to Malaysian or Malaysian who reside in Malaysia easily, but they give Datukship to an Indian actor easily, so guys, pack up your bags, and fly to Mumbai and apply for Indian citizenship.

10. Make a few Hindi movies, make some horny Malaysian swoon over your acting.These will help you to realize your dream of being a VIP Datuk.

And last but not least

11. When people finally award you with Datukship, you must be cocky and arrogant and do not appear during the awarding ceremony. The cockier you are, the better, because people will hunt you down to award you with the Datukship.

Cleffairy: Are we really out of Malaysian to award that we must award Shah Rukh Khan a Datukship? Have our country gone haywire? Well, apparently, yes. Who is next in line for Datukship? The guy who acted in Spiderman? Superman? Ironman?

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Classroom Mayhem

Once upon a time, in a place not so far away from us, there’s a huge school in the middle of a forest. In that school, there’s a classroom where there are a lot of students who are out of control once the teacher is absence. That particular class is known as 1/4 Boleh. The teachers for this particular class had been absent for some time, and so, the students decided to take control of the entire class so that they would be able to put their experience as leader in their curriculum vitae when they’re seeking for a job once they graduate.

The old class rep has made a lot of havoc in the class as a consequence of his decision regarding to the class economy . The class economy began to deteriorate as inflation hits in, and the students who are in that class suffers because they no longer can buy food at the school cafe at a reasonable price.

As1/4 Boleh is getting uncontrollable, and the class rep, Dollah started to get agitated with the whole situation. The student’s support is no longer with him, so he decided that since he could not clean up the mess that has been made, he might as well announce that he’ll give up the position. What better way to get out of hot soup than to pour hot soup on others?

Not realizing what they could have gone into, a lot of students who are interested in being a class rep once the old class rep, Dollah decided to give up his position as he prefers to sleep in class instead of taking charge. Among them is Dollah’s assistant, Nejeeb, a student who is rumoured to be a cruel arsonist who stole chemical from the chemistry lab and use the chemical to bomb a lab rat to death, while another is a student who is is always interested in the class rep position but always denied the chance, Anus.

While Anus is clean from bombing lab rat to death rumours, his past is not absolutely clean either. Words has it that he is a gay, and loves to play with other student’s backside with his imported glass dildo. But of course, the source of those words about him being a gay is just a hearsay. No one can actually prove that he have such fetish, because he actually have a pretty girlfriend who clings to him everywhere he goes.

Much to Anus’s annoyance, Dollah has decided to pass down his position as a class representative to Najeeb as soon as he gives up the position instead of waiting for the annual class election to choose a new class rep in a more dignified way. Dollah has denied his classmates to choose their own class rep effectively by doing this, and Anus is definitely not satisfied with the whole situation that does not work in his favour.

And so, the forever cock-talking Anus declared with not so much conviction to the rest of the class that he will, by hook or by crook will take over the position on a certain date without fail. 1/4 Boleh is quite skeptical of his declaration, because this is not the first time that he told his classmates that he will kick Dollah in the butt and replace him as a class rep.

The student of 1/4 Boleh is actually not so comfortable with the fact that they will be having a cruel lab rat bomber as their leader, but they have not much say or choice in it. Both of the candidate for the future class rep have dirty past, and the students has long learn not to easily trust their leaders. Dollah and his cronies lack credibility to restructure and have the class under control and yet, they still want to have control over 1/4 Boleh.

The question here is just this, will the change of leadership in 1/4 Boleh brings good changes to the entire class, or will it serve to further severe the entire situation? Is a cruel person who had been rumoured to bomb a lab rat to death capable of taking care of his classmates’ welfare? Is 1/4 Boleh really lack of capable leaders who can lead them that they’re force to choose between the two who have unclean past?

Changes ought to be made so that the students gets more say in who should be their leaders and who should be sent to the dark room and be isolated from the rest of the class, or the class would soon fall and only forest animals such as monkeys and babboons would be interested to stay in 1/4 Boleh.

Cleffairy: Boom boom boom boom, explosion in my room!

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Tale of Bolehtica

Once upon a time, there’s a kingdom underwater. It was call Bolehtica and was ruled by a king who goes by the name Big Bad Lala.

In that kingdom, there’s a mermaid by the name of Tessa. She’s such a kind-hearted mermaid, and is very, very opiniated. The mer-people loves her, not just because of her beauty, but because of her kindness towards the people. They also admire her courage to voice up what she think is wrong. She is the mer-people’s voice. She do whatever she could in her power to make sure that her people’s complaints are heard. She spoke truth with conviction. Be it water pollution issues, or deep-sea fishing that is done by the human who lived on land that is threatening the lives aquatic lives.

Big Bad Lala who inherited the throne after the old king decided to retire is a complete bloke who is capable of nothing but screw up the kingdom. Big Bad Lala really lives to his name. He behaves like a sick and bad clam more than a merman. He have the tendency to fall asleep and hide inside his ‘shell’ almost everywhere he go. When the kingdom is in a mess, the new king simply order his people to clean up the mess he made by hook or by crook.

Tessa, the kind mermaid’s heart broke for her beloved kingdom, because Bolehtica used to be a prosperous underwater kingdom but not anymore since King Big Bad Lala ascend the throne. Unfortunately for Tessa, she have no power to go against the powerful king who have a lot of minions and underlings who is serving him, even though she is a strong-willed young mermaid.

King Big Bad Lala is definitely not a favourite among his citizens, because they felt that he is incapable of ruling fairly. The mer-people started to dig dirty little secrets about King Big Bad Lala and his court and printed whatever news or rumours on various medium, such as Aquatic Presses as well as the Interquatic system that function to spread news underwater. People wanted the king to be dethrone badly.

The king is very unhappy about what is going on in Bolehtica. He might be a sleepyhead, but he is definitely sly and not dumb. He have a lot of minions who are serving him and would gladly pleases him for the sake of power and wealth. The king wanted to take control of what is going on in his kingdom before it’s too late and he gets dethrone by his bloodthirsty enemy who is lusting for his throne.

The king gets restless by each passing day as the rumours and gossip that has been spread went out of control. So he summon one of his underling who is a bald giant squid. The bald giant squid is called Harr Mee. He is a sea wizard who practices black magic with the power to stun and shut people up, and throw them into a cold cave to be treated like the lowest scum alive in Bolehtica.

The king had decreed for Harr Mee to stop the mer-people from speaking ill of him. Harr Mee is in dilemma, because it’s not entirely possible to stop people from speaking ill of the king. Even with all of his wizardy power, stopping the people from talking is not possible. Harr Mee himself is aware that the king is useless, but he is definitely not going to say anything about it, because he is well fed by the king.

Despite of being a not so bright squid he is, he manage to come up with an evil genius idea, which is to instill terror among the mer-people. He know that by doing so, it ought to at least reduce people from talking too much about the king. The mer-people would at least be more careful of what they talk about if something scares them from doing so.

Harr Mee then look into his crystal ball to see which mer-people are suitable to be used to instill terror among the citizens. The crystal ball started to glow as Harr Mee look into it, and the image of one mer-man and two mermaid appeared in the crystal ball. Harr Mee cackled in satisfaction and maneuvered outside of the cave he is living in. He then raise up his tentacles and chant some spell in his horrible voice.

Squid ink started to engulf him as he completed the spell, and as the ink began to dissolve in the seawater around him, the three mer-people appeared before him. They are entrapped inside a giant bubble, gagged and tied up to avoid them from popping the bubble and escape to safety.

One of these mer-people is the beautiful and loquacious Tessa who spoke for her people every now and then. Another two are rather famous people in press and media industry. Harr Mee laughed and thought to himself that this time, he really hit the jackpot.

Harr Mee then call the press and did a press conference, announcing that he has locked them up because he think that they are a threat to Bolehtica. He told the mer-people who are present at that moment that who dares to speak ill about what is going in Bolehtica and speak the truth about Big Bad Lala’s incapability to rule, will also be treated like scum. In other words, whoever is as outspoken as those three mer-people that he caught will definitely be screwed.

Meanwhile, the three mer-people who were caught by Harr Mee was sent to three different location by Harr Mee’s apprentice to be locked up.

Tessa was sent to a cold and horrible place, and was treated like a scum. She was given food that is usually served to pets like seal, which is rotten fish. They did not feed her enough. They wanted to mentally and physically torture her so that her spirit would be broken and consequently instill terror among the people. She grew thinner and paler by each passing day.

This angered the citizens of Bolehtica. Bolehtica is an independent country and supposed to practice freedom of speech and expression as well as democracy. The citizens know that this should not be allowed to happen, because God knows when, it’ll be their turn to suffer like the three mer-people.

Harr Mee did not expect such thing to happen. The effect is totally opposite of what he expected it would be. So the not so bright squid released the two mermaid, but kept the merman in captive, because the merman have the biggest mouth of all, and is capable to dig out whatever scandal Big Bad Lala has.

Tessa who was released from captivity is not satisfied with the treatment given to her, and so, she told the press who are interested on how she was treated when she was in captive. She told them that she was fed awful food…she was fed pet food!

Her complaints made Harr Mee and his apprentice angry, and they retort that a prisoner should not be treated well like a guest or traveller. They should not be served decent food, and they must be treated like dirt.

While it is understandable that prisoners who are locked up are generally not well treated, what gives Harr Mee and his apprentice to treat a mermaid like a sea lion, and fed with rotten food? Is every single prisoner in Bolehtica is treated that way? If it is, then the pets in Bolehtica have much a better life.

The citizens of Bolehtica hunger for changes and crave for a better life in Bolehtica, but the question here is, will Bolehtica change and be a better place if Big Bad Lala is to be dethrone? Is it possible to dethrone Big Bad Lala anyway? Seeing how Big Bad Lala have so many underlings who are doing the dirty work for him, it seems that it is not possible for Bolehtica to regain it’s former glory.

Children, there are so many things about Bolehtica that cannot be answered in this tale, and if you want to know what happen to Bolehtica next, you’ll have to be good and go to sleep. I will spin the tale for you next time.

Cleffairy: Instilling terror in people does not mean one can stop another from thinking logically.

This entry is inspired by Calvin, who shared his tale of a man and starfishes.

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The Return of Master Yoda

Written by: Cleffairy Lucas

Long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, the Jedi Council is having trouble keeping peace in the galaxy. In the time of crisis, there’s an old Padawan, known as AhmaMooMoo and he belongs to the New Jedi Order, one of the component party under the Jedi Council. The overgrown Padawan seems to be controlled by the dark forces, causing him to sputter obnoxious words about the aliens who do not share the same species as him. The dark side is rapidly infiltrating the Jedi Council and The New Jedi Order. Racial sentiments between the aliens are getting stronger by the day, due to the doings of that particular Padawan.

AhmaMooMoo had belittled other aliens who are also Padawans in the Jedi Council. Consequently, the Jedi Council is split into fraction, one strongly supporting the asshole of a Padawan’s actions while the rest condemn his actions. The ones who do not support the Padawan had threaten to leave the council, causing headache to the new leader of the Jedi Council, Master Sleepylala.

The Padawan, AhmaMooMoo was too powerful, and Master Sleepylala could do nothing but suspend him from participating in any Jedi Council’s meeting for 3 years to prevent him from spreading anymore bitter and ill feelings among all of the aliens in the galaxy. AhmaMooMoo vowed that he will make a comeback after the 3 years is over, and he swear that he will be stronger than ever.

AhmaMooMoo’s statement and the conflicting Jedi Council worries one of the Padawan in the New Jedi Order. The name of this Padawan is Muyyi Skywalker. He knew that the Dark Force is invading and trying to divide the Jedi Council and slowly destroy them before they rule the entire galaxy. He knew that Master Sleepylala is not strong enough to handle the threat, and Muyyi Skywalker realized that if he did not do anything about the Dark Force invading, soon, the Jedi Council would be beyond saving, and the worst part of it, the damage would be collateral and the Jedi Council and its’ New Jedi Order could never be revived to maintain peace and order in the galaxy.

Muyyi Skywalker could only think of one person who could possibly ward off the Dark Forces that is invading, which is his old master, Master Yoda. As you all probably know, Master Yoda finally left the corrupted Jedi Council that he founded because he felt that his voice no longer mean anything to the new Jedi Order after he hand over his power to his handpicked successor, Master Sleepylala.

The ungrateful Master Sleepylala had turn almost everyone in The jedi Council against Master Yoda, and that is probably why Master Yoda was so ticked off and left his beloved Jedi Council. Master Yoda simply refused to return to the Jedi Order until Master Sleepylala step down or have been put to sleep.

So, Muyyi Skywalker traveled high and low on his airship, and seek out Master Yoda who is living in seclusion. He begged Master Yoda to return to Jedi Council so that he could offer his voice once again and bring back unity in the Jedi Order so that they can protect the galaxy from the great galactic conqueror, Darth Vader .

Master Yoda who had been living in seclusion apparently have been keeping up with the updates about The Jedi Council through the Intergalactic Internet, and he was not pleased with the way things are going in the Jedi Council. He knew that once Darth Vader manage to overthrow Master Sleepylala, the first thing that Darth Vader is going to do is probably take revenge on him. He knew that Darth Vader is a vengeful person, and he’ll definitely take revenge on Master Yoda for causing him to live in exile for so many years.

After giving a thought on what Muyyi Skywalker had said, Master Yoda decided to return to the Jedi Order and try very hard to bring back unity within, but can Master Yoda’s return to the Jedi order could possibly make any difference to the already crumbling Jedi Council? Is it too late, as the damage that had been done seems to be irreversible, and the citizens of the Galaxy has lost trust in the Jedi Council’s ability in maintaining peace and prosperity.

Will the coward Sleepylala step down so that a new leader who is more capable leading the Jedi Council replace him so that the credibility of Jedi Council will finally be restored? Will Darth Vader succeed in his plan to take over the galaxy? Or will Master Yoda’s return would be useless because Darth Vader would eventually take over the entire galaxy and kick his butt anyway? After all, the power thirsty Darth Vader seems to be very determined to take over the galaxy. Will peace finally be prevailed or galactic war will unavoidably ensues?

Cleffairy: Welcome to the Dark Side. Whahahaha…. 😛 (Sorry for this rubbish. I can’t sleep, took too much caffeine. I’ll try to come out with other article tomorrow when I’m less ‘nutty’)

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Oh, baby, Moo Moo me one more time!

Dear children, this is the continuation of my previous tale, entitled ” The Mighty Cow Has Spoken”. It’s been some time now since I spin the tale for you, and you must be dying to find out whether the cow finally submit to his master, Pak Dollah and apologizes to the rest of the farm animal for his degrading and obnoxious statement that only cows are supposed to reign supreme in the farm while the rest of the animals in the farm are supposed to be treated like dirt just because the mighty cow himself thinks that the rest of the animals are immigrants, and definitely have no rights in any juicy grass in Pak Dollah’s farm.

Pak Dollah is not really impressed with the fat cow’s “I am bigger than everyone, including you, master” attitude, because as a consequence of the cow’s action, other animals has been telling Pak Dollah off, and they are threatening that if Pak Dollah refused to get rid of the asshole of a cow, they will without a doubt go on rampage, destroy whatever Pak Dollah owns on his farm, and move to a new farm next door, owned by Pak Anu.

Now, Pak Dollah is really terrified with the animal’s threat. He couldn’t imagine how his farm would end up if the rest of the animal farm really did what they had threatened to do. His farm would be deserted, and he could not be a farmer anymore once the rest of the farm animals get out of his farm and serve in Pah Anu’s farm. He couldn’t let that happen now, could he? He cannot let Pak Anu cackle with joy and see his downfall now, could he? So Pak Dollah decided to do something before all of the animal really goes on incontrollable rampage and leave his farm.

Pak Dollah told the cow to apologize to the rest of farm animals before they really leave his farm and make him go bankrupt. Reluctantly, the cow held a press conference in Pak Dollah’s farm, and summons the rest of the cows who supported him to attend his press conference. Pak Dollah was pleased at this point, because he thought that the cow finally come to his senses, but boy, was he dead wrong about the cow.

Instead of apologizing and taking back his words on what he said about the sheep and the chickens that had been imported into Pak Dollah’s farm, he made another obnoxious statement, saying that the rest of the farm animals are nothing but scum and dirt and told them that the cows still reigns supreme, and he’ll do anything in his power to uphold the supremacy! In fact, it’s the sheep and the rest of the farm animals that’s supposed to kneel down and apologize to him. Wow! Such passion, such patriotism that the cow displayed.

The rest of his kind, other cows cheered in joy and delight as they listened to what their oh so high and mighty leader had said. They mooed in agreement to the mighty cow’s statement, and they went berserk and crazy as they supported their leader. Please don’t be surprised of their action, children, cows do tend to get crazy every now and then. Besides, the hand mouth and foot disease is in their blood veins. The mighty cow’s statement must have somehow activated the dormant virus inside their vein, hence, their moo moo-ish action.

And to show that they are fully backing up their mighty leader, they went to the sheep’s place and tear down the sheep leader’s portrait that is sticking on the wall. The leader of all the sheep over there was really pissed off with the cow and his supporter’s action, and so is the rest of the sheep.

The sheep are usually gentle creature, but now they are restless that they have been insulted that way by the oh so mighty cow. They are well aware of the fact that they may be weak, and far less in quantity in comparison of the cows, but they do know one thing, which is if they speak up their mind, and encourages the rest of the animal farms who are already not satisfied with Pak Dollah’s farm to leave the farm and go to Pak Anu’s farm that seems to promise more advantage to them, the rest of the animal there would definitely follow. And this would without a doubt lead to the downfall of Pak Dollah’s farm.

The sheep are actually not satisfied with Pak Dollah for some time and now the leader of the sheep is secretly grinning with joy as in actual fact, the mighty cow had given them a very good reason to leave the farm without being labeled traitor.

So, the leader of the sheep stood up before Pak Dollah, and told him that they are considering to leave the farm if Pak Dollah refused to take action on the asshole of a cow who is so full of himself. The leader of the sheep said that there’s no point staying in Pak Dollah’s farm and they have decided to cut off whatever relationship that they have in Pak Dollah’s farm and be prepared to leave the farm soon.

Pak Dollah panicked. He knew that he if did not do anything and send the mighty cow to be butchered and served the cow’s meat as curry on people’s plate, the sheep will really leave his farm, and he’ll definitely go bankrupt and can never be a rich farmer again.

So, Pak Dollah announced that he is not pleased with the mighty cow’s action, but do nothing to harm the cow yet. It seems that Pak Dollah is quite reluctant to take any action on the mighty cow, because the cow too, had huge supporter base, and if Pak Dollah make any wrong moves, he’ll get into trouble not only with the sheep, but the cows too.

From afar, one could almost hear Pah Anu’s evil cackling. Pak Anu must be smiling from ear to ear as he sees the farm animals in Pak Dollah’s farm is on rampage and absolutely uncontrollable. He knew that soon enough, the sheep will turn to him and ask for shelter in his farm, and then, he’ll definitely be the greatest farmer of all.

The thing is, children, will Pak Anu be the greatest farmer of all? Will Pak Dollah ‘s farm goes bankrupt with the absence of the group of sheep? Well, that’s one thing that you’ll have to wait to find out. So now, tuck in, have a good night sleep. We’ll continue our little tale next time.

Cleffairy: In the midsts of horrible animal rampage in Pak Dollah’s farm, one tend to wonder if the mighty cow is actually Pak Anu’s friend. Is the mighty cow Pak Anu’s friend? Did he do all this and flare species sentiments between the cows and sheep so that Pak Dollah will be destroyed eventually?

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