This is to the one who held my hands with tears glinting in his eyes and told me that they are beautiful, and one day, I shall hold many hearts in it the way I held his. This may not make much sense to everyone, but this man…he’ll always have a special place in my heart, til the day that it stopped beating.
This man…he means a lot to me, because he’s the only man in this whole wide world who truly know what I like, what dislike and what I loathe. He’s the only one in the world who probably know that I love listening to Rod Steward, Bryan Adams, Sting, MLTR and the only one who did not laugh at me when I told him that I had a crush on Jason Donovan and admired Kylie Minogue.
This man…was the one who taught me how to waltz and dance, and when I got tired and breathless with all the dancing and yet still refuse to stop, he’ll take off my shoes, and let me step on his feet so that I could still dance longer and told me, that each time I’m tired and yet still want to go on dancing, he’ll always be there for me, holding my hands and lead me to dance, and catch me when I fall.
This man… he’s my hero…he was there for me when I was sick and scared, and had tears in his eyes when I was on the verge of death. He held my hands mournfully, with unshed tears and a smile inspired on his lips with prayers in his heart, encouraging me to be brave as I told him not to let go of me as they wheeled me into the operation theater. I remembered those time well… as he was the only one there, truly concern for my pains while the rest seems to be oblivious to my feelings. He kissed my forehead, and told me not to be afraid, for he will be there for me when I wake up.
God loves me, for he gave me this man, who tells me to be brave and be a fighter, and stay strong because the world is a cruel place, and if I need him, he’ll be there for me when I am tired and need a shoulder to cry upon.
Thank you God, for giving me this man, and remembering the times with that man who shall always have a special place in my heart, I feel that for the first time, one lifetime with him is not enough. Thank you God, for giving me such a wonderful daddy in whose heart, I’ll always be his little girl.
Quote from Cleffairy’s latest novel: I wish I can give you the world, but the world doesn’t belong to me. You can have my heart instead.
When I was a little girl, I used to get beautiful dreams where I’m surrounded with scattered and floating collectibles, such as figurines, dolls and music boxes.
.
I’m all grown up now. I no longer get beautiful dreams where beautiful music boxes serenade to me. Instead of getting such dreams, I get nightmares consisting of betrayal, cold blooded murders and lies. Even my dad stops buying me those beautiful music boxes because he thought I would prefer those expensive high-tech gadgets instead of simple collectibles I used to get as a little girl.
It is strange how time changed people and their dreams, and I come to realize that every now and then, we should look back at those simple joys we used to have, like giving music boxes to our loved ones as a token of our love and appreciation.
I missed receiving music boxes as a token of love, and since no one buys me music boxes anymore, I’m thinking of getting one as I happened to stumble upon musicboxes.com coupon codes that I can use to buy it for myself. Unless of course…someone out there is offering to buy me one for the coming Valentines?
Cleffairy: I’m all grown up now, but every now and then, I would allow myself the small pleasure of revisiting my childhood fantasies. Tell me… how many of you girls out there still receive a music box as a token of love, or it has been replaced with Ipods, laptop, digicam and whatnots?
I was named after the Queen of England. My name is Elizabeth. The Spanish called me Isabel while the French knows me as Isabelle. People who are closed to me called me Liz or Lizzie, because they can’t be bothered calling me by my whole blessed name.
Some people are just goddamn blessed that they are born in the world where democracy is practiced, and I’m not the heir to any throne, or Elizabeth I of England herself, for I might have ruled with my iron fists, and send heads rolling.
You read it right. I would have sent heads rolling, and I probably wouldn’t feel a thing about it. Cruel, yes. I am cruel. I can be extremely cruel when I want to be. And I would have made sure people remembers me for that so that they know they shouldn’t mess with me in the first place.
People are just so lucky that they are not my subjects, as while I’m very easy to please and I take delights in little pleasures the world have to offer me, I am also a very bad tempered and unforgiving woman.
I don’t forgive easily. I may have grown up like a little princess where I was taught of horseback riding, archery, chess, literature, philosophies, history, mythology and politics as early as five years old (yes, my father seen to it that I grew up like a princess, knowing what a princess should know- the only thing that I lack would probably be music and fencing), but the world had seen to it that I don’t grow up to be a weak fairy tale princess who had herself under illusion that the world is made of cotton candy, soft and sweet.
My father used to tell me that I was rather sharp-minded when I bothered to be as a child. And he was right at some point, as I don’t need to be Henry VIII’s daughter to realize that the world is a place that’s full of people who can’t wait to betray each other for their own benefit. I grew up to be rather aware of my surroundings, and I don’t trust people or respect people easily, even as a child.
And so, when I say I trust you and respect you, then you’re one of the lucky few, and you better not do anything to destroy my trust, for once it’s broken, I shall never give it back, and I’d do anything in my power to make you regret that you’ve ever been born. Yes, consider this as a warning.
Some people… they are just damn lucky that I am not a monarch, as I am quite a territorial being. I loathe it when people do as they pleased in my home, and I absolutely resent people who touched my things without permission and enter my domains to do as they please without considering my feelings on that matter. That is absolute disrespect and insult to me. Oh yes, some people are just lucky, for if I am Elizabeth I and those people are my subject, I’d have them hanged and quartered for even dare to think of touching what belongs to me. They are blessed, and lucky indeed that I am not a Queen who rule over them.
Some people are just goddamn lucky, but the world is not blessed enough to have me as a Queen, as I would have done whatever it is in power to protect my country and put it’s interest before me and I wouldn’t punish people for their faith, but punish them for their deeds and wrongdoings instead. It’s a trait many rulers and government lack, don’t you think?
Quote from Cleffairy’s latest novel: Give me not the quill and ink, for I shall sign your death warrant.
Getting to know mature and wise fellow bloggers out there, like Shakira, Claire, Eugene and STP made me learn a lot. I feel tiny in comparison to them, all because they are wiser, and have been through rougher times than me. They made me realize that life is a tough, but a wonderful journey. It’s just like sailing in a stormy sea. You just needs to stay strong and be courageous in order to survive and not drown instead.
My days are usually bad, as I have sleeping problems and whatnots. But these days, I tend to count my blessing, even when I had a rough day and nothing good actually happened.
There’s not much I can write today, cuz I had terrible, nasty headache, and my Muse avoided me like a plague. I couldn’t really do anything today, but out of boredom, I went on youtube, and found this Italian/Neapolitan song, O Sole Mio, sang by the late Maestro Luciano Parvarotti and the hot hunk Bryan Adams, and I couldn’t help but feel grateful and blessed that I met my husband and married him.
Do you know why I feel that way? Oh, well, most of you might not realize it as I sounded very fierce and firm with my stands in my articles and my comments. But truthfully, I am a hopeless romantic inside, and I have a hunch that if I didn’t meet my husband almost 8 years ago, I would have definitely fall in love with the person who serenade O Sole Mio to me. Or even worst, I could have married the first person who proposed to me by singing this song beneath my bedroom window.
I could have ended up with someone like Parvarotti, for all I care. You see, I’m not the kind who would fall in love with people for their looks and looks alone. Call me weird, but I consider people’s voice a a charming trait. While some woman may go for men who are loaded, I couldn’t care less if the man is penniless. As long as the man is… ahemm… a passionate man and can demonstrate to me that he’s a good and exhilarating lover, then my heart is all gone. I’d choose a single stalk of a rose rather than a huge hunk of diamond. I’d go for a love letter any day rather than expensive gifts. And I definitely go for a virile young man who could satisfy me in bed rather than a financially stable, elderly man who can lay a kingdom at my feet but could not perform in bed.
Passionately hopeless, isn’t it? But I can’t help it. That’s who I actually am. Even my own love story with my husband involved fireworks, roses, romantic visits through the window and a whirlwind romance. I am not sure if I want to share my love story with all of you, as it’s quite X-rated.
I don’t know how your love stories with your sweethearts goes, but mine is rather an old fashion courting rather than the modern ones. I never once go dating with him in a cinema, and instead of going for clubbing or something of that sort, we waltzed beneath the fluorescent light back in the hostel room and boy, did we court troubles.
My husband… was quite a Regency Rake type of guy, and I was… let’s say I was a woman, ruled by my hormones. This is going to sound rather shameless, but he had ways with me, and I fell for it. There’s intense chemistry between us back then, and would you be surprised if I say that I knew who was right for me with a mere touch of the hand?
Weird, but true. I’ll be honest here. I used to have crushes on boys when I was in high school, but I know that we’re not meant to be lovers as I feel that they are not for me when I held their hand.
Anyway, for what it’s worth, I am glad that I met my husband. It’s a blessing that I tend to take for granted as time passes by. My passionate and romantic nature could have spelled troubles for me, but I’m glad that I fell for the right person. I could have fall for some Spanish or dangerous Italian Casanova for all I care.
I never do fall for bad-ass kind of guy like most girls do. I have tendency to fall for romantic blokes who would romance me. It would have been disaster for me if I didn’t meet the right one.That thought alone made me shudder.
My own love story is not flawless, and not always romantic, but I did the right thing. I married someone whom I cannot live without, instead just marrying someone whom I can just live with. That alone is a blessing, isn’t it? God does love me after all. He gave me someone to accompany me through this rough life, and I should thank him for that.
It would please me immensely if you could share with me your love story, but if you can’t, it’s all right. I’ll understand, cuz it might be somewhat personal and X-rated too. Whose love story is not X-rated, anyway?
Allow me to end this entry with a songs dedication. ‘O Sole Mio’ and the English rendition of it, ‘It’s Now or Never’ sang by the King of Rock, Elvis Presley. They are beautiful love song, and I suppose, it’s composed to steal someone’s heart.
O Sole Mio – by the late Maestro Luciano Parvarotti & Bryan Adams
Neapolitan lyrics
Che bella cosa e’ na jurnata ‘e sole
n’aria serena doppo na tempesta!
Pe’ ll’aria fresca pare già na festa
Che bella cosa e’ na jurnata ‘e sole
Ma n’atu sole,
cchiù bello, oje ne’
‘O sole mio
sta ‘nfronte a te!
‘O sole, ‘o sole mio
sta ‘nfronte a te!
sta ‘nfronte a te!
Quanno fa notte e ‘o sole se ne scenne,
me vene quase ‘na malincunia;
sotto ‘a fenesta toia restarria
quanno fa notte e ‘o sole se ne scenne.
Ma n’atu sole,
cchiù bello, oje ne’
‘O sole mio
sta ‘nfronte a te!
‘O sole, ‘o sole mio
sta ‘nfronte a te!
sta ‘nfronte a te!
’O SOLE MIO (Translation)
What a beautiful thing is a sunny day,
A gentle breeze after the storm!
Through the fresh air already appears a feast.
What a beautiful thing is a sunny day!
Refrain:
But another, lovelier sun doesn’t exist.
My sun is your face.
The sun, my sun,
Is your face, is your face.
There’s a light in the panes of your window.
A laundress sings and boasts.
While she wrings and spreads and sings,
There’s a light in the panes of your window.
Refrain
When night is falling and the sun is setting,
A feeling almost like melancholy overcomes me.
I would stop under your window,
When night is falling and the sun is setting.
Refrain
English rendition of O Sole Mio- It’s Now Or Never by Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley – It’s Now Or Never Lyrics
It’s now or never,
come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
it’s now or never
My love won’t wait.
When I first saw you
with your smile so tender
My heart was captured,
my soul surrendered
I’d spend a lifetime
waiting for the right time
Now that your near
the time is here at last.
It’s now or never,
come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
it’s now or never
My love won’t wait.
Just like a willow,
we would cry an ocean
If we lost true love
and sweet devotion
Your lips excite me,
let your arms invite me
For who knows when
we’ll meet again this way
It’s now or never,
come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
it’s now or never
My love won’t wait.
It’s Now or Never+ O Sole Mio
Quote from Cleffairy’s novel in progress: I’m afraid that I will say anything to you that might come out wrong, so instead, I will try to tell you with this silence. When you understand the words I’m not saying, then maybe you can teach me to speak again, like you’ve taught my eyes to see, and my heart to love.
Author’s note: This is for the one whom I love, and means a lot to me.
Do you remember?
The times where we were still young and carefree, and we danced to the song Trouble by Shampoo in front of the whole damn class to see during the year end party? It was corny, and terribly choreographed, but I still remember the laughter and the cheering when we performed the dance for everyone to see. We were wearing tights, and loose t-shirt with awfully thick make up that can put any Opera Ghost to shame. I still have the picture, and each time I looked at it, I cringed and wonder how the hell we survived that dance. I remember that time, and wished we were more sane…but then again, those are the things that I wouldn’t change for the world. That was us…we were brave, and we were carefree…
Do you remember?
The time where we were so pumped up with adrenaline, that we took part in the school sports event? We ran in the sack and raced to the finish line. You were wearing blue, while I was in red. You finished second, while I was third. We both won, and we danced our victory dance with pink coloured pom-poms, uncaring of what the rest of the world thought of us. The picture is still inside my album, and I snorted when I saw how smug our expression bear. The simplest joy of winning a sack race could give us so much pleasure then. It made me wish that sometimes, we could delight in such small victory now and learn to be contented with small victories.
Do you remember?
The times where we karaoke-ed in my house, wanting so much to go on stage for teacher’s day the next day. We sang ‘To Sir With Love’, and I had awful soar throat the next day and we failed to make appearance on the bloody stage. Each time I think of the time, I couldn’t be more thankful that we didn’t go on stage, for it would have been a complete disaster. But do you know what? Secretly, there’s a kinky part of me that wished that we did go on stage, and croak the song out and knock ourselves out. It would have been fun, even if we get booed instead of cheers from the crowd.
Do you remember?
The time when I had a crush on someone, and goes to the beach every evening, just so that I could see him play football and play along with the boys? Your mum sent you along with me, telling you to watch over me. She said “Don’t let her do hanky panky things” and you nodded vigorously. You became my… ahemm… guardian angel, and I secretly wish that you would get your butt out of my face. Now your butts are finally out of my face, but I couldn’t help but wanting you back to be my guardian angel, to protect me from the hurt and the pain, and the countless heartbreaks and disappointments that relationship tend to bring me.
Do you remember?
The time when you had awful crush on someone who is a couple years older than you. He was in the opposite class, and when he was about to leave school, I made the damn sacrifice to accompany you so that you can have his picture and his phone number. His entire class sang “Sannnn sannn yeee liiiinnggg sannn…” and I wanted to do nothing but run when ‘Panda’ caught your love interest and brought him out to you. I was blushing like mad, and told ‘Panda’ that I had chickenpox and needed to leave… but my feet wouldn’t bring me away when I saw you turn red with their teasing. Those were the moments where I feel like I wouldn’t mind if the earth open up and swallow me whole. I wished that we didn’t do such embarrassing thing, but now, thinking back, I wish I was there for you each time you needed courage to do something big in your life. I wish I was there, to nudge you and tell you to pursue what your heart tells you to do.
Do you remember, as time passes by,
You had another crush, who also dwells in the same class as your previous love interest…and I happened to be smitten with his younger brother? We were experimenting with our feelings, then, not knowing how dangerous it is to our hearts. For the first time, I felt hurt, and you were there for me, saying that the jerk was not worth it. You told me that I am beautiful, and do you know something? Each time I feel my confidence is crumbling, I will think of your words, and just remembering them made me feel that I am still beautiful.
Do you remember?
The times when I went to your house to accompany you when your parents were not there? You taught me how to play the piano. It was Ballade Pour Adeline by Richard Keladiman. It may not mean much to you, but do you know how much it meant to me? You made me feel that I could achieve anything if I put my mind to it. You made me feel that I have hidden talent and all I need to do is sharpen it and I will shine, and I am forever indebted to you for such feelings and confidence. I wish…one day…I would be able to play the song for you once again, and make you proud of me.
Do you remember?
The time when you fed me with soft bun topped with Marina Tuna spread with mayonnaise and Anchor cheese? For others, such food might be common. But to me, it was something else. It was comfort food that could warm my heart, as each time I made tuna sandwich, I would remember you and the times we had together without failed.
Do you remember?
The time when we went to Pizza Hut, and I ordered one regular pepperoni pizza, and you thought that the toppings is made out of peppers? I thought you were silly. But now, you won’t go for such food anymore, because you’re watching your weight, and sometimes, I wish that you won’t not worry to much about weight and indulge yourself once in a while.
There are many more things that I wanted to ask if you remembered…but I couldn’t ask you anymore, because the more I write, the more I wish that we could just go back to the time where we were younger, braver and more carefree. The more I think about our past when we were growing up together, the more I wish we had the courage to do whatever our hearts tell us to do and have fun to our hearts contents.
Time passes by. We are older now. We are more mindful of what we do. We fear embarrassment and pain, and therefore, we don’t really have fun anymore, but for what it’s worth, I am glad that we were so carefree and brave, as each time that I feel that I’m at loss, I will recall those time we had together, and it gives me courage to face the blasted world again.
Thank you for being my best friend, Pauline. Thank you so much for the precious memories.This is for you. Happy 26th birthday, Pau. Know this…you’re always more like a sister to me than just a best friend.
It’s already New Year’s Eve when I’m writing this entry. It’s 3.05am when I started writing this. I couldn’t sleep again, and so, I decided to make use of my time instead of forcing myself to sleep by tossing and turning in bed again.
2009 is by far the toughest and the most educational year for me. I learn a lot of things…the hard way. I’ll tell you what I learned throughout the year.
JANUARY– I learn not to expect much from the people around me. I learned to deal with desperation, frustration and denial.
FEBRUARY– I made a big decision that I thought will do good for me and my family, only to live to regret it, because it complicates my life terribly. I learn that it does one no good if they stop staying strong and admitting that they need help. One should learn to persevere. During this month, I also learned that sometimes I need to share my loved ones with people that I am not particularly fond of. But on a lighter note, during February, I also learned that people change. And to some people, love is unconditional. I learned that we need to give people a second chance, and we should not really look back and condemn the mistakes that they did in the past when we are nowhere near perfect ourselves.
MARCH– March was a particularly fair month for me. And I learned that positive work pressure is actually good for the soul as it motivates you and keep you alive. During this month, I also learned something new about myself, which is; I hate to be forced to do things. March made me wonder if I am actually moving forward and not backwards.
APRIL– I learned that I needed to be more patient with everyone around me. This is also the time where I started to drift away from God, because I felt that He’s not answering my prayers.
MAY– May was the month where my relationship with my husband grows older by another year. And I learned, that passion and romance needs to be rekindled, and one should not take their other half for granted. I learn that everyone should prepare to let go…in case things happen. I also learn that one should not expect people to be thankful for what you’ve done for them. The less you expect, the less you’ll be disappointed.
JUNE– June. Not so much things happened in June besides celebrating my blog’s one year anniversary. During this time of the year, I learned that taking precautions and being mindful of whatever you do is important. Certain things disgusted and repelled me. Rhe feelings are all new to me.
JULY– My nightmare begins. All nonsense were thrown in this month. I had to deal with homelessness because my house was burn down in fire, and I learned that we cannot depend on anyone but ourselves. I learned to handle pressure and higher level of stress. July 2009 was one of the darkest time of my life. Everything seems to slap me on the face. I felt lost, and felt that God is unfair. But for what it’s worth, I am glad that I still can say “It’s all right. We have each other. Nothing else matters”. This was the month where I happens to bring Meow Meow home, and realized that cats are better than human in many ways.
AUGUST– I was taken aback with certain things, and for a while, I felt numb and didn’t know what to do. I got homesick terribly. Missed my mum and dad, and even my bratty sis. I wished I could tell my dad what so that he could hug me and tell lend me his wisdom. But I didn’t have the courage to do so. And I wasn’t sure if I should either. It will complicate things.This was also the time where I began to build a wall around me and refused to let people into my heart because of certain things that happened. I learned that there are some things that you should not mention, even to your other half. I also learned that people back stabs, and one should never be fooled with their appearance. I also learned that some bitches are extremely manipulative. I could never be like them though I learned that if I wanted to survive my kind of life, I have to be like them. You see, some people, they really can act pitiful and like a complete Saint while their heart is as black as ever. I am not sure if I can be such a whore, seriously. Suicide sounded better to me that turning into such an ugly hearted person. I became bitter during August, and kept everyone out of my heart, not wanting my heart to break again.
SEPTEMBER– I turned 25 years old on 2nd September. I don’t really want to talk about it. It disappointed me. The wall around my heart gets higher and thicker, and harder to break. I learned that sometimes, you have to live with the bad decisions you make, and freedom is not free. Went to spend time with my own family by the end of the month, and desperately wanted to be a little girl again. Desperately longs for a time out. I was in need of a break.
OCTOBER– I learned that getting away from mundane life is good during October. And began to see that sometimes, things are not what it seems. I learned that everyone is no angel, and one should not expected me to treat them and worship them like one. For what it’s worth, certain ‘angels’ are just brainwasher and cleverly manipulates situations to make themselves looks like one. People around me may be blind, but I am not.
NOVEMBER– I was so pissed that sometimes, people just don’t get me and doesn’t respect my role in the family. I felt bad about certain matters at first, but after awhile…all I wanted to do is say “good riddance to bad rubbish”. I learn not to let people twist and turn things around to make me feel guilty. I learned an expensive lesson during November. Which is… you cannot really be two things at a time, and you will need to make choices, no matter how painful it is. Because of the things that happened in November, it made me realized that I needed to be closer to my own parents more than other people in my life and needed to be more open about what’s been bothering me with them. Felt that I needed them more than ever. Wished I really could have my daddy’s wisdom terribly. And thank heavens, this is also the time where daddy began to pay attention to his daughters too. He came on and off to check on his daughters, to see if they are doing all right.
November was also month of adventure for me. There’s NANOWRIMO, and I learn to really take comfort in my writings because I can’t really find it elsewhere. Felt pitiful for myself even more that I could only do things that I really wanted in my novels and it could never be realized. NANOWRIMO saved me from drifting into depression again, as positive kind of stress motivates me.
DECEMBER– Felt depressed earlier December as NANOWRIMO finally ended, and no one was there for me once again. I purposely immerse myself in writing again, desperately trying to get away from my bloody mundane life. And I learned another valuable lesson during December. Most valuable of all, I must say.
I learned that God actually works his miracle in mysterious ways, and no matter how lost I feel, He will send me someone to give me kind nudges to guide me along the way.
I might not realize it, but yes ,thinking back… He was rather kind to me in December. He made me believed in Him again by sending all of you; my blogger friends. He made me believe that there’s more to life than just my mundane ones. He showed me that He is looking out for me.
He sent Claire to me to show me that life is about being grateful for what you have and give thanks. He sent STP to me to tell me that I should learn to live one day at a time and whatever bad that happens to me is just a test from Him. He sent Eugene to me to tell me that love should always be nurtured. He sent Shakira to me to tell me to count my blessings and that there are people out there who cares for me genuinely. God also sent me Merryn and Cheeyee to show me that I am not really alone and not everyone have an adventurous life and I should learn to be contented in my role, just like they did and I will feel a lot better.
God also knocks on my head in December to make me remember that He is all around me and I am forever grateful for the little reminders He sent me. I also reveled in the fact that if I want to be loved, I need to love myself first and make effort to love people too. And not only that, I also need to learn to allow people back into my heart again. God showed me that I need to learn how to love again, and learn to let bygone begone. Yes… December is a month of revelation to me, and I desperately pray that God will continue to show me the path that’s truly intended for me and guide me all the way in His own ways.
Tomorrow will be a brand new year. I don’t know what is in store for me in January, (Though I know February will be nothing but shit to me) but whatever will be, will be, for the future is not mine to see. I will hope for the best, and pray that it will not be more worst than 2009. For what is worth, I hope God will be all around me to guide me all the way. (And my own letters to comfort me too!)
Cleffairy: Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be, the future isn’t ours to see, Que Sera, Sera. Happy New Year, Everyone.
ps: I also realized that there are people out there who doesn’t want me to be happy and the only way for me to make them unhappy is for me to be happy. I never really did make any resolution for the past years, but I’m going to make one for 2010, which is be happy and be myself again. After all… I have accepted people for what they are and what they are not. Why should I let people tell me differently? I am who I am, either accept me for who I am, or get out of my life. I never did bother to force them to change themselves for me. Screw ya, assholes!
It’s already New Year’s Eve when I’m writing this entry. It’s 3.05am when I started writing this. I couldn’t sleep again, and so, I decided to make use of my time instead of forcing myself to sleep by tossing and turning in bed again.
2009 is by far the toughest and the most educational year for me. I learn a lot of things…the hard way. I’ll tell you what I learned throughout the year.
JANUARY– I learn not to expect much from the people around me. I learned to deal with desperation, frustration and denial.
FEBRUARY– I made a big decision that I thought will do good for me and my family, only to live to regret it, because it complicates my life terribly. I learn that it does one no good if they stop staying strong and admitting that they need help. One should learn to persevere. During this month, I also learned that sometimes I need to share my loved ones with people that I am not particularly fond of. But on a lighter note, during February, I also learned that people change. And to some people, love is unconditional. I learned that we need to give people a second chance, and we should not really look back and condemn the mistakes that they did in the past when we are nowhere near perfect ourselves.
MARCH– March was a particularly fair month for me. And I learned that positive work pressure is actually good for the soul as it motivates you and keep you alive. During this month, I also learned something new about myself, which is; I hate to be forced to do things. March made me wonder if I am actually moving forward and not backwards.
APRIL– I learned that I needed to be more patient with everyone around me. This is also the time where I started to drift away from God, because I felt that He’s not answering my prayers.
MAY– May was the month where my relationship with my husband grows older by another year. And I learned, that passion and romance needs to be rekindled, and one should not take their other half for granted. I learn that everyone should prepare to let go…in case things happen. I also learn that one should not expect people to be thankful for what you’ve done for them. The less you expect, the less you’ll be disappointed.
JUNE– June. Not so much things happened in June besides celebrating my blog’s one year anniversary. During this time of the year, I learned that taking precautions and being mindful of whatever you do is important. Certain things disgusted and repelled me. Rhe feelings are all new to me.
JULY– My nightmare begins. All nonsense were thrown in this month. I had to deal with homelessness because my house was burn down in fire, and I learned that we cannot depend on anyone but ourselves. I learned to handle pressure and higher level of stress. July 2009 was one of the darkest time of my life. Everything seems to slap me on the face. I felt lost, and felt that God is unfair. But for what it’s worth, I am glad that I still can say “It’s all right. We have each other. Nothing else matters”. This was the month where I happens to bring Meow Meow home, and realized that cats are better than human in many ways.
AUGUST– I was taken aback with certain things, and for a while, I felt numb and didn’t know what to do. I got homesick terribly. Missed my mum and dad, and even my bratty sis. I wished I could tell my dad what so that he could hug me and tell lend me his wisdom. But I didn’t have the courage to do so. And I wasn’t sure if I should either. It will complicate things.This was also the time where I began to build a wall around me and refused to let people into my heart because of certain things that happened. I learned that there are some things that you should not mention, even to your other half. I also learned that people back stabs, and one should never be fooled with their appearance. I also learned that some bitches are extremely manipulative. I could never be like them though I learned that if I wanted to survive my kind of life, I have to be like them. You see, some people, they really can act pitiful and like a complete Saint while their heart is as black as ever. I am not sure if I can be such a whore, seriously. Suicide sounded better to me that turning into such an ugly hearted person. I became bitter during August, and kept everyone out of my heart, not wanting my heart to break again.
SEPTEMBER– I turned 25 years old on 2nd September. I don’t really want to talk about it. It disappointed me. The wall around my heart gets higher and thicker, and harder to break. I learned that sometimes, you have to live with the bad decisions you make, and freedom is not free. Went to spend time with my own family by the end of the month, and desperately wanted to be a little girl again. Desperately longs for a time out. I was in need of a break.
OCTOBER– I learned that getting away from mundane life is good during October. And began to see that sometimes, things are not what it seems. I learned that everyone is no angel, and one should not expected me to treat them and worship them like one. For what it’s worth, certain ‘angels’ are just brainwasher and cleverly manipulates situations to make themselves looks like one. People around me may be blind, but I am not.
NOVEMBER– I was so pissed that sometimes, people just don’t get me and doesn’t respect my role in the family. I felt bad about certain matters at first, but after awhile…all I wanted to do is say “good riddance to bad rubbish”. I learn not to let people twist and turn things around to make me feel guilty. I learned an expensive lesson during November. Which is… you cannot really be two things at a time, and you will need to make choices, no matter how painful it is. Because of the things that happened in November, it made me realized that I needed to be closer to my own parents more than other people in my life and needed to be more open about what’s been bothering me with them. Felt that I needed them more than ever. Wished I really could have my daddy’s wisdom terribly. And thank heavens, this is also the time where daddy began to pay attention to his daughters too. He came on and off to check on his daughters, to see if they are doing all right.
November was also month of adventure for me. There’s NANOWRIMO, and I learn to really take comfort in my writings because I can’t really find it elsewhere. Felt pitiful for myself even more that I could only do things that I really wanted in my novels and it could never be realized. NANOWRIMO saved me from drifting into depression again, as positive kind of stress motivates me.
DECEMBER– Felt depressed earlier December as NANOWRIMO finally ended, and no one was there for me once again. I purposely immerse myself in writing again, desperately trying to get away from my bloody mundane life. And I learned another valuable lesson during December. Most valuable of all, I must say.
I learned that God actually works his miracle in mysterious ways, and no matter how lost I feel, He will send me someone to give me kind nudges to guide me along the way.
I might not realize it, but yes ,thinking back… He was rather kind to me in December. He made me believed in Him again by sending all of you; my blogger friends. He made me believe that there’s more to life than just my mundane ones. He showed me that He is looking out for me.
He sent Claire to me to show me that life is about being grateful for what you have and give thanks. He sent STP to me to tell me that I should learn to live one day at a time and whatever bad that happens to me is just a test from Him. He sent Eugene to me to tell me that love should always be nurtured. He sent Shakira to me to tell me to count my blessings and that there are people out there who cares for me genuinely. God also sent me Merryn and Cheeyee to show me that I am not really alone and not everyone have an adventurous life and I should learn to be contented in my role, just like they did and I will feel a lot better.
God also knocks on my head in December to make me remember that He is all around me and I am forever grateful for the little reminders He sent me. I also reveled in the fact that if I want to be loved, I need to love myself first and make effort to love people too. And not only that, I also need to learn to allow people back into my heart again. God showed me that I need to learn how to love again, and learn to let bygone begone. Yes… December is a month of revelation to me, and I desperately pray that God will continue to show me the path that’s truly intended for me and guide me all the way in His own ways.
Tomorrow will be a brand new year. I don’t know what is in store for me in January, (Though I know February will be nothing but shit to me) but whatever will be, will be, for the future is not mine to see. I will hope for the best, and pray that it will not be more worst than 2009. For what is worth, I hope God will be all around me to guide me all the way. (And my own letters to comfort me too!)
Cleffairy: Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be, the future isn’t ours to see, Que Sera, Sera. Happy New Year, Everyone.
ps: I also realized that there are people out there who doesn’t want me to be happy and the only way for me to make them unhappy is for me to be happy. I never really did make any resolution for the past years, but I’m going to make one for 2010, which is be happy and be myself again. After all… I have accepted people for what they are and what they are not. Why should I let people tell me differently? I am who I am, either accept me for who I am, or get out of my life. I never did bother to force them to change themselves for me. Screw ya, assholes!
It’s already New Year’s Eve when I’m writing this entry. It’s 3.05am when I started writing this. I couldn’t sleep again, and so, I decided to make use of my time instead of forcing myself to sleep by tossing and turning in bed again.
2009 is by far the toughest and the most educational year for me. I learn a lot of things…the hard way. I’ll tell you what I learned throughout the year.
JANUARY– I learn not to expect much from the people around me. I learned to deal with desperation, frustration and denial.
FEBRUARY– I made a big decision that I thought will do good for me and my family, only to live to regret it, because it complicates my life terribly. I learn that it does one no good if they stop staying strong and admitting that they need help. One should learn to persevere. During this month, I also learned that sometimes I need to share my loved ones with people that I am not particularly fond of. But on a lighter note, during February, I also learned that people change. And to some people, love is unconditional. I learned that we need to give people a second chance, and we should not really look back and condemn the mistakes that they did in the past when we are nowhere near perfect ourselves.
MARCH– March was a particularly fair month for me. And I learned that positive work pressure is actually good for the soul as it motivates you and keep you alive. During this month, I also learned something new about myself, which is; I hate to be forced to do things. March made me wonder if I am actually moving forward and not backwards.
APRIL– I learned that I needed to be more patient with everyone around me. This is also the time where I started to drift away from God, because I felt that He’s not answering my prayers.
MAY– May was the month where my relationship with my husband grows older by another year. And I learned, that passion and romance needs to be rekindled, and one should not take their other half for granted. I learn that everyone should prepare to let go…in case things happen. I also learn that one should not expect people to be thankful for what you’ve done for them. The less you expect, the less you’ll be disappointed.
JUNE– June. Not so much things happened in June besides celebrating my blog’s one year anniversary. During this time of the year, I learned that taking precautions and being mindful of whatever you do is important. Certain things disgusted and repelled me. Rhe feelings are all new to me.
JULY– My nightmare begins. All nonsense were thrown in this month. I had to deal with homelessness because my house was burn down in fire, and I learned that we cannot depend on anyone but ourselves. I learned to handle pressure and higher level of stress. July 2009 was one of the darkest time of my life. Everything seems to slap me on the face. I felt lost, and felt that God is unfair. But for what it’s worth, I am glad that I still can say “It’s all right. We have each other. Nothing else matters”. This was the month where I happens to bring Meow Meow home, and realized that cats are better than human in many ways.
AUGUST– I was taken aback with certain things, and for a while, I felt numb and didn’t know what to do. I got homesick terribly. Missed my mum and dad, and even my bratty sis. I wished I could tell my dad what so that he could hug me and tell lend me his wisdom. But I didn’t have the courage to do so. And I wasn’t sure if I should either. It will complicate things.This was also the time where I began to build a wall around me and refused to let people into my heart because of certain things that happened. I learned that there are some things that you should not mention, even to your other half. I also learned that people back stabs, and one should never be fooled with their appearance. I also learned that some bitches are extremely manipulative. I could never be like them though I learned that if I wanted to survive my kind of life, I have to be like them. You see, some people, they really can act pitiful and like a complete Saint while their heart is as black as ever. I am not sure if I can be such a whore, seriously. Suicide sounded better to me that turning into such an ugly hearted person. I became bitter during August, and kept everyone out of my heart, not wanting my heart to break again.
SEPTEMBER– I turned 25 years old on 2nd September. I don’t really want to talk about it. It disappointed me. The wall around my heart gets higher and thicker, and harder to break. I learned that sometimes, you have to live with the bad decisions you make, and freedom is not free. Went to spend time with my own family by the end of the month, and desperately wanted to be a little girl again. Desperately longs for a time out. I was in need of a break.
OCTOBER– I learned that getting away from mundane life is good during October. And began to see that sometimes, things are not what it seems. I learned that everyone is no angel, and one should not expected me to treat them and worship them like one. For what it’s worth, certain ‘angels’ are just brainwasher and cleverly manipulates situations to make themselves looks like one. People around me may be blind, but I am not.
NOVEMBER– I was so pissed that sometimes, people just don’t get me and doesn’t respect my role in the family. I felt bad about certain matters at first, but after awhile…all I wanted to do is say “good riddance to bad rubbish”. I learn not to let people twist and turn things around to make me feel guilty. I learned an expensive lesson during November. Which is… you cannot really be two things at a time, and you will need to make choices, no matter how painful it is. Because of the things that happened in November, it made me realized that I needed to be closer to my own parents more than other people in my life and needed to be more open about what’s been bothering me with them. Felt that I needed them more than ever. Wished I really could have my daddy’s wisdom terribly. And thank heavens, this is also the time where daddy began to pay attention to his daughters too. He came on and off to check on his daughters, to see if they are doing all right.
November was also month of adventure for me. There’s NANOWRIMO, and I learn to really take comfort in my writings because I can’t really find it elsewhere. Felt pitiful for myself even more that I could only do things that I really wanted in my novels and it could never be realized. NANOWRIMO saved me from drifting into depression again, as positive kind of stress motivates me.
DECEMBER– Felt depressed earlier December as NANOWRIMO finally ended, and no one was there for me once again. I purposely immerse myself in writing again, desperately trying to get away from my bloody mundane life. And I learned another valuable lesson during December. Most valuable of all, I must say.
I learned that God actually works his miracle in mysterious ways, and no matter how lost I feel, He will send me someone to give me kind nudges to guide me along the way.
I might not realize it, but yes ,thinking back… He was rather kind to me in December. He made me believed in Him again by sending all of you; my blogger friends. He made me believe that there’s more to life than just my mundane ones. He showed me that He is looking out for me.
He sent Claire to me to show me that life is about being grateful for what you have and give thanks. He sent STP to me to tell me that I should learn to live one day at a time and whatever bad that happens to me is just a test from Him. He sent Eugene to me to tell me that love should always be nurtured. He sent Shakira to me to tell me to count my blessings and that there are people out there who cares for me genuinely. God also sent me Merryn and Cheeyee to show me that I am not really alone and not everyone have an adventurous life and I should learn to be contented in my role, just like they did and I will feel a lot better.
God also knocks on my head in December to make me remember that He is all around me and I am forever grateful for the little reminders He sent me. I also reveled in the fact that if I want to be loved, I need to love myself first and make effort to love people too. And not only that, I also need to learn to allow people back into my heart again. God showed me that I need to learn how to love again, and learn to let bygone begone. Yes… December is a month of revelation to me, and I desperately pray that God will continue to show me the path that’s truly intended for me and guide me all the way in His own ways.
Tomorrow will be a brand new year. I don’t know what is in store for me in January, (Though I know February will be nothing but shit to me) but whatever will be, will be, for the future is not mine to see. I will hope for the best, and pray that it will not be more worst than 2009. For what is worth, I hope God will be all around me to guide me all the way. (And my own letters to comfort me too!)
Cleffairy: Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be, the future isn’t ours to see, Que Sera, Sera. Happy New Year, Everyone.
ps: I also realized that there are people out there who doesn’t want me to be happy and the only way for me to make them unhappy is for me to be happy. I never really did make any resolution for the past years, but I’m going to make one for 2010, which is be happy and be myself again. After all… I have accepted people for what they are and what they are not. Why should I let people tell me differently? I am who I am, either accept me for who I am, or get out of my life. I never did bother to force them to change themselves for me. Screw ya, assholes!
It’s already New Year’s Eve when I’m writing this entry. It’s 3.05am when I started writing this. I couldn’t sleep again, and so, I decided to make use of my time instead of forcing myself to sleep by tossing and turning in bed again.
2009 is by far the toughest and the most educational year for me. I learn a lot of things…the hard way. I’ll tell you what I learned throughout the year.
JANUARY– I learn not to expect much from the people around me. I learned to deal with desperation, frustration and denial.
FEBRUARY– I made a big decision that I thought will do good for me and my family, only to live to regret it, because it complicates my life terribly. I learn that it does one no good if they stop staying strong and admitting that they need help. One should learn to persevere. During this month, I also learned that sometimes I need to share my loved ones with people that I am not particularly fond of. But on a lighter note, during February, I also learned that people change. And to some people, love is unconditional. I learned that we need to give people a second chance, and we should not really look back and condemn the mistakes that they did in the past when we are nowhere near perfect ourselves.
MARCH– March was a particularly fair month for me. And I learned that positive work pressure is actually good for the soul as it motivates you and keep you alive. During this month, I also learned something new about myself, which is; I hate to be forced to do things. March made me wonder if I am actually moving forward and not backwards.
APRIL– I learned that I needed to be more patient with everyone around me. This is also the time where I started to drift away from God, because I felt that He’s not answering my prayers.
MAY– May was the month where my relationship with my husband grows older by another year. And I learned, that passion and romance needs to be rekindled, and one should not take their other half for granted. I learn that everyone should prepare to let go…in case things happen. I also learn that one should not expect people to be thankful for what you’ve done for them. The less you expect, the less you’ll be disappointed.
JUNE– June. Not so much things happened in June besides celebrating my blog’s one year anniversary. During this time of the year, I learned that taking precautions and being mindful of whatever you do is important. Certain things disgusted and repelled me. Rhe feelings are all new to me.
JULY– My nightmare begins. All nonsense were thrown in this month. I had to deal with homelessness because my house was burn down in fire, and I learned that we cannot depend on anyone but ourselves. I learned to handle pressure and higher level of stress. July 2009 was one of the darkest time of my life. Everything seems to slap me on the face. I felt lost, and felt that God is unfair. But for what it’s worth, I am glad that I still can say “It’s all right. We have each other. Nothing else matters”. This was the month where I happens to bring Meow Meow home, and realized that cats are better than human in many ways.
AUGUST– I was taken aback with certain things, and for a while, I felt numb and didn’t know what to do. I got homesick terribly. Missed my mum and dad, and even my bratty sis. I wished I could tell my dad what so that he could hug me and tell lend me his wisdom. But I didn’t have the courage to do so. And I wasn’t sure if I should either. It will complicate things.This was also the time where I began to build a wall around me and refused to let people into my heart because of certain things that happened. I learned that there are some things that you should not mention, even to your other half. I also learned that people back stabs, and one should never be fooled with their appearance. I also learned that some bitches are extremely manipulative. I could never be like them though I learned that if I wanted to survive my kind of life, I have to be like them. You see, some people, they really can act pitiful and like a complete Saint while their heart is as black as ever. I am not sure if I can be such a whore, seriously. Suicide sounded better to me that turning into such an ugly hearted person. I became bitter during August, and kept everyone out of my heart, not wanting my heart to break again.
SEPTEMBER– I turned 25 years old on 2nd September. I don’t really want to talk about it. It disappointed me. The wall around my heart gets higher and thicker, and harder to break. I learned that sometimes, you have to live with the bad decisions you make, and freedom is not free. Went to spend time with my own family by the end of the month, and desperately wanted to be a little girl again. Desperately longs for a time out. I was in need of a break.
OCTOBER– I learned that getting away from mundane life is good during October. And began to see that sometimes, things are not what it seems. I learned that everyone is no angel, and one should not expected me to treat them and worship them like one. For what it’s worth, certain ‘angels’ are just brainwasher and cleverly manipulates situations to make themselves looks like one. People around me may be blind, but I am not.
NOVEMBER– I was so pissed that sometimes, people just don’t get me and doesn’t respect my role in the family. I felt bad about certain matters at first, but after awhile…all I wanted to do is say “good riddance to bad rubbish”. I learn not to let people twist and turn things around to make me feel guilty. I learned an expensive lesson during November. Which is… you cannot really be two things at a time, and you will need to make choices, no matter how painful it is. Because of the things that happened in November, it made me realized that I needed to be closer to my own parents more than other people in my life and needed to be more open about what’s been bothering me with them. Felt that I needed them more than ever. Wished I really could have my daddy’s wisdom terribly. And thank heavens, this is also the time where daddy began to pay attention to his daughters too. He came on and off to check on his daughters, to see if they are doing all right.
November was also month of adventure for me. There’s NANOWRIMO, and I learn to really take comfort in my writings because I can’t really find it elsewhere. Felt pitiful for myself even more that I could only do things that I really wanted in my novels and it could never be realized. NANOWRIMO saved me from drifting into depression again, as positive kind of stress motivates me.
DECEMBER– Felt depressed earlier December as NANOWRIMO finally ended, and no one was there for me once again. I purposely immerse myself in writing again, desperately trying to get away from my bloody mundane life. And I learned another valuable lesson during December. Most valuable of all, I must say.
I learned that God actually works his miracle in mysterious ways, and no matter how lost I feel, He will send me someone to give me kind nudges to guide me along the way.
I might not realize it, but yes ,thinking back… He was rather kind to me in December. He made me believed in Him again by sending all of you; my blogger friends. He made me believe that there’s more to life than just my mundane ones. He showed me that He is looking out for me.
He sent Claire to me to show me that life is about being grateful for what you have and give thanks. He sent STP to me to tell me that I should learn to live one day at a time and whatever bad that happens to me is just a test from Him. He sent Eugene to me to tell me that love should always be nurtured. He sent Shakira to me to tell me to count my blessings and that there are people out there who cares for me genuinely. God also sent me Merryn and Cheeyee to show me that I am not really alone and not everyone have an adventurous life and I should learn to be contented in my role, just like they did and I will feel a lot better.
God also knocks on my head in December to make me remember that He is all around me and I am forever grateful for the little reminders He sent me. I also reveled in the fact that if I want to be loved, I need to love myself first and make effort to love people too. And not only that, I also need to learn to allow people back into my heart again. God showed me that I need to learn how to love again, and learn to let bygone begone. Yes… December is a month of revelation to me, and I desperately pray that God will continue to show me the path that’s truly intended for me and guide me all the way in His own ways.
Tomorrow will be a brand new year. I don’t know what is in store for me in January, (Though I know February will be nothing but shit to me) but whatever will be, will be, for the future is not mine to see. I will hope for the best, and pray that it will not be more worst than 2009. For what is worth, I hope God will be all around me to guide me all the way. (And my own letters to comfort me too!)
Cleffairy: Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be, the future isn’t ours to see, Que Sera, Sera. Happy New Year, Everyone.
ps: I also realized that there are people out there who doesn’t want me to be happy and the only way for me to make them unhappy is for me to be happy. I never really did make any resolution for the past years, but I’m going to make one for 2010, which is be happy and be myself again. After all… I have accepted people for what they are and what they are not. Why should I let people tell me differently? I am who I am, either accept me for who I am, or get out of my life. I never did bother to force them to change themselves for me. Screw ya, assholes!
WARNING: This is not your ordinary cuppa tea. It’s a spiked beverage. Consider yourselves have been forewarned, and kindly navigate away if you’re fainthearted.
*ROAR* “Make my monster grow! “*Stomp Stomp*
Does that phrase sound familiar to you kids? Nah… I think not. Kids these days are too clever to watch Power Rangers like I did. Kids these days go online to watch porn… they never did watch those crappy stuff these days. They’re pretty much advanced than those who were born in the 80s and definitely could differentiate between fantasy and reality.
Wuhhooo… I watched Power Rangers and survived! Yes… sue me, somebody, I watched that damn show where five or was it six juvenile took morphine and morph into some costumed super heroes. They go like this:
“It’s morphine time!” and poof, they transformed into some kick ass superhero using dinosaur’s name or something. *faints* Well, actually, Power Rangers didn’t take morphine to transform into costumed superhero, they just use the phrase “It’s morphine time!” to turn themselves into superhero.
No.. I’m not drunk, people. This is what happens when Cleffairy is overdosed on her tea. She goes to youtube and watch her childhood craps. Ultraman, Superman, Power Rangers, Thundercats, He-Man, Ewoks, Captain Planet…
Do you want to know a secret? I actually believed in those craps when I was younger. Yes! I actually pretended as Ultraman and Masked Rider. And my dad played along with me when I watched Thundercats, because he’s a fan too. He even used me as an excuse to go to the toy store to buy Lionel’s(from Thundercats) action figure. My dad is cool, eh?
When I was a little girl, my dad actually told me that he’s working for Ultraman, and I believed him! I even asked him to ask Ultraman to sign autograph for me back then. Thinking back, I don’t know why I was so foolish. My dad must have been snickering like some villian behind my back for my silliness.
I was a little girl who grew up in naivety, because my dad allowed me to be a child until certain age. Wait a minute! He allowed me to be his little girl til this very day. He still buys me Sailormoon and Dragonball stuff, and my mum will get scolding from him if she threw away my Doraemon toys and countless Japanese Manga series. (well, my dad have a stash of Spiderman comic somewhere in my room, I bet he’s just protecting those. It’s rather impossible that he bother to champion my Sailormoon craps, anyway.)
One thing about my dad is, he never did force me to go tuition when I was in kindergarten like kids these days. Yes, there’s such thing as tuition classes for kindergarten. They moonlight in the name of ‘Homework Guidance’ and they cost a bomb.
Children these days are poor thing. They can’t really be children because there’s so many things are expected of them. They’re expected to be competitive and ambitious, and therefore, they’re somehow deprived of their childhood. I believe, children these days attended various classes…language classes, music classes, swimming classes, you name it. They don’t get to fantasize about their childhood superheroes cuz they are told TV won’t help them in getting straight As, but those classes will.
They also never did get to play pretend or dress up because they are told to grow up. And not many children gets to play outdoors too, because they are locked in by their busy parents who are too busy to accompany them to play outdoors. Well, their parents did the right thing, of course, as it is too dangerous for children to play outside without adults supervision these days. It’s no longer the kampung days where children can play with ease as neighbours keeps a close tabs on your children’s whereabouts.
You know something, dear readers? I remember that my dad gave me piggyback rides and horsie rides when I was a toddler. I can still remember it. I also can remember me and my dad pretending as Ultraman and monster and play with each other until we get scoldings from mum, who was absolutely pissed because we used her rolling-pin and pans as our weapon when I was five.
And I still can remember my dad trying to get me to do maths by playing Monopoly when I was six. Of course, as I grew older, there is chess game sessions too as my dad thinks that it’s a great way to sharpen my mind, and each time I managed to beat my dad in a chess game or two, I get a stuffed teddy as a reward. I still enjoy playing chess with my daddy though these days, I no longer get teddy bears as a reward for beating him in the game.
I think, I grew up like quite a normal little girl.(well, if you counted playing dress up and believing that Queen Rita from Power Rangers is real normal, that is) I was encouraged but not forced to study and excel. I was taught that learning is a lifelong journey, and not just to pass the papers or to show off to your friends who is a better student or so that your parents could boast to each other. I was taught to be honest with myself and be myself, and never let anyone take that away from me.
My dad didn’t want me to grow up too fast. He wants me to be a little girl as long as I could, and remember him as a father who doted on me and loves me dearly. He wants me to remember him as a father who is always there for me, through thick or thins.
How about you, dear readers? Do you want your children to grow up before it’s time? Can you seriously say that you won’t miss getting a hug or a kiss or two from your sons and daughters when they ‘grow up’ enough to feel embarrass to do it in front of their peers?
Anyway, for what it’s worth, I am truly blessed to be born in the 80s. Or else, I would have contemplate suicide because being the children of this era is tough!
Cleffairy: The phrase “Make my monster grow!” is usually uttered by Queen Rita, the bad guy’s big boss from Power Rangers. Each time she cackled these words, the monsters will grow and the Power Rangers will have to ride their Gundam-like robot to fight off the overgrown mob!
ps: Issit just me, or ‘Make my monster grow’ sounds rather obscene? LMAO…
